why are there so many unsuccessful marriages?

Question

lately, there so many people divorcing each other (its been obvious for awhile...)

Does it has alot to do with the changing roles of females? (there are more strong women who are independent; and successful in their careers), what are some other factors?

I appreciate your help

Answer 1

We live in a society that promotes the "Happily Ever After" syndrome through our movies, TV, and other media. This myth convinces people that once you "fall in love" you don't have to work on your marriage at all for it to be successful. If you fall out of love, then it just wasn't meant to be. This is why so many women over 45 that I know are on their 3 and even 4 marriage (my mom is on her 4th). The truth is that the biological "in love" feeling goes away after 6-18 months after being together and then the relationship takes work. Dating, working out issues without getting into screamin brawls, making sure all finances are agreed upon, etc. are all things that make a marriage healthy. Marriage is hard work and requires a lot of openess and honesty. Until people get that through their thick skulls, they will never have a successful marriage.

Answer 2

It could be because it is so easy to get divorced that they just dive into it without thinking or know what they are going into. A lot of people also forget the marital recipe
Love, understanding, support, compromise, trust which is the foundation of the marriage as well as honesty which goes hand in hand with trust, laughter, fun, even separation from each other part of the day, talking to each other, willingness, commitment and knowing your partner even love making has a part to play that is important.
This is left out by many couples and they think that marriage is the happily ever after thing when it has just begun and they don't see that it is not an easy road. You get married for everlasting companionship someone that you love to be with you through thick and thin as well as till the end of your days. Some people don't realize that there would be bumps and obstacles and sometimes aren't ready to handle them. This shows the strength of your marriage and some people fail to fight for the one that they love. You over come obstacles not succumb to it.
For this is the reasons for divorce!

Answer 3

There are several factors:

1. There is a societal acceptance of divorce that didn’t exist two generations ago. Divorce as a back door out of a marriage is totally accepted BY SOCIETY. Thirty-five years ago a divorced person was kind of weird.

2. Lack of community/society. In big cities especially there is no longer a sense of community. We are a large society that hides behind computers and cel phones instead of being face to face with people. I believe that strong communities foster strong marriages.

3. Impatience. Face it, if people would wait a little longer to get married and especially to have children, those people would learn a lot more about themselves and who they are. For anyone over 35 - how mature were you at 18? Probably not very. Imagine getting married and having a child at that age. You don’t know life, you haven’t faced many challenges. All of a sudden you are facing the two biggest challenges there are - marriage and children.

4. Lack of strength. It’s just easier to get divorced. My wife had 10 years of incredible challenges and difficulty based on how immature we were when we got married. We were both just too stubborn to quit. As a result of sticking it out through the difficult times, we are now reaping the rewards. We know each other, love each other, and give each other the space to be who we are. We wouldn’t have the amazing marriage we have now if we didn’t have the fortitude to stick it out when it was tough.

FP

Answer 4

Hi On,
I think that the mere idea of a wedding and all that's glamorous about it, some dont see beyond that. Once married, the "newness" of it wears off and the "realities" set in, then it can be overwhelming for those who didn't realize what marriage IS all about in the first place, and it isn't "playing house". You find that some aren't mature to handle it or the responsibilities, the compromises, etc.

Marriage can seem like a fairy tale and it isn't that.
It is a whole lot more! A committment, and many other parts that go along with it.

Answer 5

The answers probably vary based on the scenario, but the above pretty much covers it.

People get married for all the wrong reasons. They don't understand what marriage means, they think it's disposable.

Bottom line is one or both partners ultimately are selfish. They think if they are not getting things their way they can cheat and/or leave.

There is no commitment. Vows don't mean anything anymore, and the courts make it easy to get out of a marriage.

So it's most likely a combination of any of the above reasons, but each individual divorce is different.

Answer 6

Yes the changing roles of females has something to do with it i believe but also many people do not mean their vows anymore when they say them. Marriage is a joke to alot of people today and it is very sad. There are also alot of mean and controlling men and women out there too and there is also alot more adultery and unfaithfulness then what there used to be. Sad but true. Lots of reasons but these are some of the main ones i believe.

Answer 7

Because there are so many people getting married for the wrong reasons, OR marrying someone they thought they knew, who turned out to be lying like a low-down dirty dog, OR because they married someone with the thought that the person would "change" over time....AND because people ignore the big red flags that wave in front of their faces, because they "feel" so in love, and later they realize, okay...that's something I really can't live with, when before, they let it slide. It's messed up, but that's how it is. I don't think it's the "changing role of women", because most men know where they stand with the woman from the moment they get into a serious relationship with her. It's also because it's easier to vow you'll be faithful, cherish him/her, or for better/worse, when you've not yet been faced with temptation, illness, or hardship.

Answer 8

Its in the food that we are eating .Think about it .There putting hormones in cows for more milk growth hormones so the animal grows faster and breeding hormones and all kind of stuff and where eating it now everyone is in heat and cant help themselves and if that's not bad enough there's Viagra people promoting sex at the movies on TV its all around us that's what we are all learning "Sex in the city" Get rid of all that then people will become normal humans again the desire will not be there

The greatest thing of all is that all these big corporations promoting all of these things are getting rich and have you all blaming each other

Answer 9

Some other factors could be differences in tastes and people marrying each other for the wrong reasons.

I'm happily married and have been for the past 2 years. We're still stronger than ever. I think for most people, they rush into a marriage and don't think about the future.

Answer 10

It's easier to get out of a marriage than spend time and energy working on their issues. And seems like careers, personal pride, etc. are a good scape most of the time. .

And a lot of times I see that when people confide on others for their opinion, most people seems to see it that way... Individualism has taking over the "becoming ONE when you get married", and giving 2nd chances and forgiving seems to be overrated...

There's a very available door called DIVORCE and separation that is always open and at a better reach for difficult situations... Why bother?