Ive been with her for 6 months this friday and i love her like i neva thought i could love a girl....but wen i talk to her and say "when can i meet them" she tells me that she doesnt want to talk bout it nd that can we change the subject hmmmm...i love her loads and it wudnt matter if i didnt meet them jus wud make things easier......
How do i take this ????
2007-03-19 11:02:47 · 12 answers · asked by Ben 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well, I can understand how you might feel! That is strange!
Maybe she doesn't like her parents..maybe they abused her..and that is why..but, you might want to ask her..to sit down sometime, and just ask why...it also could be a cultural thing...I had an ex-boyfriend..that refused to let me meet his parents as his girlfriend..and also his friends...(whom, I pretty much knew...and when we broke up..I did reveal to his friends that I had been dating him...because I was angry that he "hid" me.!)..but, he was Chinese,and his traditional family "inside laws" were that he wasn't to get attached or married to anybody outside his race..." although, this is NOT for all Chinese OR other race Families...just some families have this "understanding"....and it isn't all that pleasant!!
Thankfully, I am no longer in this predicament! I can truthfully say that I hated it, I really truly hated it!!!!
It hurt my feelings alot!
Just try talking with her..and ask her...be gentle, not pushy okay?!
2007-03-19 11:12:04 · answer #1 · answered by ladyk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she had a falling out with her parents. Maybe she did something that she is ashamed of and if she brings you to her parents she will be very embarrassed. Or even some parents try to control every facot of your life. Giver her time and take the pressure off by not asking so often and leave it to her to deal with because you are not sure whats going on. Ask her if she needs to talk about it you are here for her and you will not bring up the subject again until she brings it up. Life is so short, give her time to open up to your love and show it once in a while with a card or 3 roses or something. Take care Heather
2007-03-19 11:09:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dated a guy for a year before i met his mom, and we were very serious. but he said he never took his girlfriends to meet his mom b/c she wasn't interested in meeting all his girlfriends. so that was understandable. but when i met her she loved me and we still talk two years after her son and i broke up. i don't think meeting the parents would make your relationship easier. 6 months you should know why she doesn't want you to meet her parents, especially if you love her and she loves you just the same. you should really try to get her to open up about the subject so you can understand better and maybe then you'll be okay with not meeting them. i can only think she doesn't get along with them, or maybe she told them about you and they don't approve of you and she doesn't want you to know.
2007-03-19 11:32:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your girlfriend has issues with her parents. However, it sounds like you're more interested in how she feels about you than how she feels about her parents.
I would suggest going the opposite route, if you haven't already. Instead of asking to meet her parents, ask her to meet yours. Her reaction can tell you a lot about where she is in your relationship.
Another thing you can do is ask one of her friends. I've found that if you are generally open and honest about why you want to know, the friend will give you the scoop without 'rating you out', so to speak. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if the friend didn't try to help you find out why she doesn't want you to meet her parents. (Although, usually, this works best with female friends than with male friends.)
But even if your girlfriend does find out about your asking her friend, things usually don't end up bad. You just have to be ready to come clean as to why you were asking about her parents. I think that most women wouldn't actually stay mad at you because you were worried that they might be ashamed of you.
Finally, I would suggest that you just yank off the band-aid. Sit her down, say that you want to ask her something important, tell her what's bothering you, and then ask her why she doesn't want you to meet her parents. And by "tell her what's bothering you", I mean come clean about your feelings. I don't mean that you can just say, "I'm upset I haven't met your parents."
Really, the worst that can happen is you find out something you don't want to find out. But even then, it's better to know now so you can protect yourself from getting really hurt later.
However, I just don't see the 'worst' coming to pass here. She probably just really doesn't like her parents. Particularly if she was abused as a child. So, if and when you go that final route, make sure you do so slowly, and with a lot of sensitivity.
2007-03-19 20:06:49 · answer #4 · answered by stedh1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well maybe mom and dad are not what she would like them to be.. mental illness.. drinking or drugs.. .. have you met any of her family... or friends for that matter.. if not it could mean she is married.. can she see you when ever you want .. that is when she is not working.. if so then maybe she is not married . but if she can see you at only certain time than that is a sure sign that there is a hubby out there..and if you have never been to her house .. that is assuming she dont live with her parents
2007-03-19 11:08:44 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats kind of odd that you have not met her parents. She might have a commitment issue, meeting the parents is a big step for some people. You might want to ask her why you haven't met her parents.
Has she met your parents?
2007-03-19 11:07:25 · answer #6 · answered by Lost in a Relationship 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dude just go with the flow....she seems like a good girl and daddy's lil princess...so when the time is right she will introduce you to them....but dress properly don't ruin it cuz she seems like she cares about what her family thinks so if you screw up its bye bye for u.....
2007-03-19 11:12:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's possible that she thinks that her parents will not approve of you, or that maybe it will be very awkward. Tell her how imporant this is to you, and she will understand how you feel if she loves you as much as you love her.
2007-03-19 11:07:26 · answer #8 · answered by just me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give her time sometimes things happens in families and she just might not wanna talk about it..i'm sure it has nothing to do with you.
2007-03-19 11:07:05 · answer #9 · answered by va757 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her ask her what's going on.
2007-03-19 11:08:27 · answer #10 · answered by Fairytale * 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋