How do I "get over it" (as he keeps telling me) when he keeps doing the same dumb stuff?

Question

Ok. This is a TWO PART question.

GUYS: For those of you who expect your significant other to "forgive and forget".....how do you expect her to do that when you keep repeating the SAME mistakes?

GIRLS: Any advice on how to get your man to see that he is an idiot? (just kidding) Seriously, My husband has not cheated (that I know of)...but he keeps doing dumb stuff that requires him lying to me. We've been married 11 years and I've caught him doing pot in our garage (after he lied about it for months. I've caught him with every kind of porn there is (after he lied about it and even put his hand on a Bible one evening.) He even lies about goofy stuff like whether or not he bought caulking at the Home Depot or not. He'll say he did and then when I ask him where it is he'll get mad because I'm "nagging" him about it. Which is his way of saying "I didn't get it I just TOLD you that I did."

Everytime I get upset about his lies he says "get over it". HELP!

Answer 1

The worst part of this is some men and women are kids, when they get caught or backed into a corner they will lie, some about the most silly things you wouldn't believe. Most will tell you to save a lecture or a fight I just figured telling this lie wouldn't hurt anything. Well, it does because little by little trust is taken away and it is hard to believe anything they say. I use to believe 1 percent of what came out of my ex's mouth, 99 percent I didn't know if it was a truth or lie. Sadly that made it impossible for me sometimes to listen to him because I would be thinking is this a lie or not. Nagging, another problem men have with us women, but if they didn't act like children we wouldn't have to nag as they call it or did what they were suppose to do in life. Next time he ask you a simple question lie to him and when he brings it to your attention say the very things he did to you. I don't believe in lying to our husband or wife, it can be something simple as when he asked did you wash my good pair of slacks, just say no.

Answer 2

Your husband needs to grow up and take on the responsibility of being an adult. He obviously likes being married for the benefits, but not the obligations that come with it. His behavior is like that of a lazy teen boy. He wants nothing to do with work, only fun. As for the lying, he wants you to "get over it" because he has no intention of changing but he's tired of taking flack for it.

I can imagine that you are responsible for paying the bills, grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning. Does he ever help out? Maybe do a load of laundry every once in awhile? Have you tried to sit down with this grown kid and explain the facts of life to him? You are not his housekeeper that he gets to sleep with, he needs to take his share of the responsibilities around the house and quit lying to hide his laziness.

If he won't grow up and accept his new role, you need to decide whether or not you still want him in your life. I would think after 11 years of this type of behavior, you'd be plenty tired of it all.