i have been married for one month *military status*. i am interested in some fling which i would only be involved with for a few weeks before i move across the state on april 15th. is it bad to have any sexually ingagement with this gentleman? im driving myself crazy with this situation because i am young and good looking. my husband is 22. is cheating as a boyfriend and girlfriend a huge difference from when your married? honest thoughtful answers only please....
2007-03-19 10:18:27 · 33 answers · asked by xoxohuney 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my husband and i have great sex. he lives in california i live in texas... i only see him so often. its strange because i think i forced myself to Love him. my father never accepted him since i was 16 when we met. he practically raised me since i was kicked out of my fathers house to be with him. im stuck beetween a rock and a hard place because i know i love him but im not IN love with him. he is everything to me and he takes care of me but at times i think did i force my self to love this man because he took care of me? it may sound all good but in all actuallity in our Boyfriend girlfriend relationship he cheated on me a million times and talks to me with profanity which i can NOT stand. i tell him all the time but he dont change. thats why i feel compelled to want to try something new. i dont know maybe its just all in my head.... i just need more respect because i know i deserve it!
2007-03-19 10:30:45 · update #1
Cheating is cheating weather you are married or not. Nobody likes to be cheated on. You need to take your vows seriously. Marriage is not a joke or something you should take lightly. If you are not happy or feel you need to cheat be fair to your husband and get it anulled or get divorced. One month is too soon to even be thinking about cheating.
2007-03-19 10:23:38 · answer #1 · answered by JUDY T 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Cheating on a whole is wrong. End of story
Ask yourself this. How would you like it if your husband cheated on you? Seriously think about it. Another woman satisfying your husband, possibly in a way you never had. Does not sound too wonderful, does it? Are willing to hurt your husband in that way, so early in the marriage? Are you that cruel?
Why did you get married in the first place? Seems to me that you were not really ready for a marriage. You obviously don't know about commitment. But you did it already. Sort your mind out. If it is just lust (which I'm sure it is) forget about the other guy and love your husband. Try everything to save your marriage. There is no shame in seeing a marriage counselor! But this marriage looks as if it has already ended before it begun.
Seriously, why did you get married? Out of gratuity? Even though he did not treat you well? Marriages based on lies NEVER work, and cheating is only going to make matters worse.
2007-03-19 10:33:12 · answer #2 · answered by Lisa M. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think you should talk to your man. If I'm not mistaken, if anything were to happen between you and another man...your husband can get the other man put in jail since he is in the service. The military takes this stuff very serious. And besides that, you should too. How would you feel if he did the same thing? Are you sure you want to be married? If after just a month you can't take this how are you going to handle the next 20 years, and what happens if he deploys for a year? Mine's been deployed for a month now and the last thing I want him worrying about where he is right now is me and what I'm doing. Please talk to him and think about if you really want to be married, because no one deserves the pain of being cheated on.
2007-03-19 10:27:30 · answer #3 · answered by kMaz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You bet it's different. You took a vow to your spouse and to God that you would be faithful and love and cherish your man until death parts you. Would it bother you if your husband decided that he would have a sexual fling but only as long as he was overseas (if this is the case if not fill in the blanks on your own)? If it has only been a month and you want to have a fling already, can I ask what made you get married in the first place? I think you know the right answer and you are just wanting someone on here to give you permission and tell you it's not a big deal.....but in my opinion.....it is a HUGE issue. Think it over.....if you love your husband you know the right answer.
2007-03-19 10:23:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Look I know how it feels to be a military spouse. My husband is in the military and there are alot of women that do it alot around here where I am at. But if you truly love you husband you wont do it. I think a military marriage is the hardest marriage. Because its a little different you on their time. I dont advise you to cheat but if you do dont get caught because think you would possibly messing up a good thing over a one time fling
2007-03-19 10:26:00 · answer #5 · answered by kmcampbell24 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't cheat if you are in a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship, and you shouldn't cheat even more if you're married! when you were gf/bf you had an understanding that you were committed to the person until one of you guys broke it off. when you got married you took vows to remain faithful until the end (or divorce..) Think about it. How would you feel if your husband had "just a fling"?
If you are young and good looking and still looking for flings, perhaps you shouldn't have gotten married, nor been in a relationship were somebody thought you were going to be faithful.
2007-03-19 10:23:27 · answer #6 · answered by yukidomari 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You are ridiculous. You are 19 and already want to cheat on your husband while he is overseas being shot at? What a prize you are.
This IS an honest, thoughtful answer. Cheating as bf and gf is bad. As husband and wife is even worse. I don't care if you are young and hot or 110 years old and weigh four tons. It's wrong. SO wrong.
The fact that you feel the need to ask makes me think you are young, stupid, and need to just give your husband a divorce so he can find a wife who will love, respect, and cherish him.
2007-03-19 10:32:11 · answer #7 · answered by Disco Stu 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, cheating when you're married is different from when you're dating. You have taken an oath before God, family and friends entering into the sacred covenant of marriage. As part of that covenant (agreement), you vowed to love, honor and obey (or some variation of those words). Plus, you agreed to foresake (give-up, abandon) all others for your spouse. How is sneaking around with someone having sex for a few weeks a fulfillment of this agreement?
2007-03-19 10:34:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, there's a big difference. You promised this man (and most likely God, if you married in a church) in front of everybody that you would not have sex with anyone but him (it's in the vows, check'em). Marriage is a promise to be with only each other. Using military terms, you two are battle buddies. You have his back and he has yours. No one comes in between you, and if anyone tries to hurt you, he's there and vice versa. The idea is that you fight for that bond, no matter what. If you break the bond (sleeping with someone else), then you betrayed your battle buddy - no one has his back and he's vulnerable to attack. Don't screw up, you promised you wouldn't and he's trusting that you won't. Be trustworthy (it's part of your CODE).
2007-03-19 10:27:20 · answer #9 · answered by Dino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheating is cheating, period!!! Your man has placed his trust in you, that is what you are cheating on!!! Why are you even married if you want to be with someone else??? YOU HAD NO BUSINESS GETTING MARRIED!!! Here you are thinking you are all grown up and instead you are acting like a spoiled brat child!!! I feel sorry for your man. He is in the military being responsible and you are a fake cheater!!! Your man deserves WAY BETTER THAN YOU!!! What a shame a good man wasted his time with someone like you!!! I hope he finds out! Scumbag!
2007-03-19 10:25:20 · answer #10 · answered by wish I were 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋