i think the reason i cut my self is not depression?

Question

lately i started feeling like the reason i cut my self is not depression but a way to get attention from my family,do u think this can be right?and how can i stop doin that?

Answer 1

i completely understand what your going through, this was me a year ago and im fine now. you just have to work out whats making you want to get attention from your family and then change it. for example is it your jelous their nicer to your brothers and sister or it might be because your parents are always busy doing other things than talk to you (thats what my parents were like)

whatever it is, you need to make a change yourself because things arent going to change by themselves and the only way you will get out of this habit is by making the change yourself

i dont know how bad the cuts are, but what made me want to stop is when i was given some cream (cocoa butter) which made my arm all smooth and helped get rid of the cuts and i didnt want to ruin my arm anymore. also when you feel as if you want to cut yourself, stay away from sharp objects like knives, scissors etc.. and go for a walk untill the feeling goes away

if none of this helps then i would talk to a councellor, theyve never helped me but they are useful to some people with building self esteem etc..

whatever you do, i hope this all turns out well for you and you are never alone in this, there are many people out there who are willing to listen to you and understand, and you can email me anytime you want



http://www.recoveryourlife.com/

thats a website i found really useful especially the forums

Answer 2

Deliberate self harm can sometimes be a way of getting attention - even if the attention is negative e.g. being told off for cutting, because it is still attention. However, generally speaking, self harming to gain attention is often a small part of a deeper underlying issue, which may or may not be depression. There are plenty of less painful things which people could do to gain attention from their family, but the fact that you have urges to cut yourself does give me cause for concern.
Try and make an appointment with your doctor if you can. Or if you don't feel you could talk to your doctor, try a nurse or perhaps a teacher at your school (I presume you are of student age, sorry if I've presumed wrong) or another adult. You might find some of the resources on the following website link useful:
http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Understanding/Understanding+self-harm.htm

Hope this is of some help to you. Please try and talk your feelings through with someone if you can though. Best wishes.

Answer 3

Don't listen to that Sigmeund who gave you a stupid answer on here. A lot of people who haven't been in the situation have no idea what they're talking about. I'm familiar with the cutting ordeal. What I know is that it was done because the 'victim' was feeling tortured inside and desperately needed to get those feelings out, and the pain and the sight of the blood did it for her. It was kind of like taking a drug. And I don't think people usually do it for attention, but I could very well be wrong. If you are having these feelings, my dear, please get yourself an appointment with a Counselor who is familiar with this activity. When you're seeking someone out find one with compassion. Someone telling you that you're not supposed to be doing that is totally undereducated. And in the meantime, maybe you can talk to your parents at a calm time in your home, (no distractions, not at meals, etc.) I wish you the best of luck. Don't give up!!!

Answer 4

My dear, I think you are releasing pain the only way you know how. Talk to a counselor at school if talking to your parents is not an option. This has been going around for a while, and maybe why kids started wearing those bracelets to hide the cuts...It is depression though. you kids (young adults) have a whole lot of pressure and sometimes (often) grownups dismiss your feelings as not being valid. But they are! Again seek help from a counselor at school or a teacher you trust. Good luck honey!

Answer 5

It might be for attention - I know that's why I did it, and why my friend did it, but you're not us, so it's impossible for me to be sure.

It's still depression though, so you've got to get help before it gets worse.

About stopping it... telling people is a good way - if you do it for attention and then you get that attention, you don't need to carry on with it, but you can't rely on people to just notice by themselves. Try concentrating on something else - when you
want to cut yourself, do something different, like drawing or...I don't know...throwing a pillow at the wall. You can get anger & stuff out without hurting yourself or breaking anything that way.

I wish I could help more, but I've run out of ideas - I just stopped doing it after I realised nobody was noticing.

The main thing is telling someone about this. Good luck!

Answer 6

Self mutilation is not that simple, unfortunately. I think part of it is to get attention when we need help.

I think it's probably a bit of both. Maybe you are depressed and you're starting to want help. I have heard mutilators say that it makes the pain real, that it makes the inner pain go away... Many different reasons.

But, I do believe you should ask for help, not by cutting yourself, but with words.

You're a beautiful human being, you're unique... Please stop mutilating yourself.

Answer 7

Without talking with you, it would be unclear. BUT.... If YOU think that is a reason for that act, it's a good bet it could be close to the truth.

If you want to stop, you either have to stop worrying about getting attention from your family OR gain attention by other means.

Answer 8

Yes you might be right. But this attention is quite negative and a negative way to get it. Maybe try talking to them instead. And if they won't listen talk to someone who will.

I've had counselling and talked to samaritans before. These people are there to help.

You did a great thing by asking this question. Thats 90% of the battle! Now you just need to talk it through with someone wh can help you understand how you are feeling.

Good luck and best wishes.

Answer 9

On of the major factors of anxiety and depression is a feeling of helplessness and a lack of control over your own life. People that feel out of control will often do something to prove that they can control something in their environment. This can include obessive behaviours (like cleaning) and self harm (cutting or in extreme cases, suicide).
I agree with you that you are probably cutting as a cry for help. Unfortunately, shame often keeps teens from asking for help. So, let me share some stastistics with you:
7 out of 10 people will have a major depressive episode in their lifetime.
2 out of 10 people seriously consider self harm. Of those, most attempt suicide at least once. The incidents of teens who attempt self harm jumps to 7 out of 10.
Most depressed people say that they just want someone to pay attention to them and see that they need help.

You are not alone. And you are not atypical.
Go online and seek help. Call a hotline in your area. Talk to your school counsillor. Please please get help. Parents are often too close to the situation to see what's going on until its too late. That doesn't mean they don't love you--but parents often have blinders on where their kids are concerned. They don't want to believe the siuation is as bad as it is.
Please talk to someone. What you are doing is dangerous. You sound like a smart girl. Value yourself. Get help.

Take care.

Answer 10

Yes depression isnt always the reason and you could get attention from your family in another way accomplish something good that will make them proud of you but you dont need their attention as long as you beleive in yourself