they work together all day and then spend most of friday night together...he went from being home around 30 min late and now can be up to 3 hrs late...and she gives him presents like a gift certificate at a spa for a massage for his 6 month birthday at the company when he was only there four...I have told him it makes me uncomfortable but he refuses to quit spending so much time with her. On Friday I was at the gym (which is down the street from his work) and he called and didn't leave a message. He said he called because he didn't see my car...but my problem is that she was STILL THERE...I walked over to his work just in time to see her speed away...AN HOUR AFTER HE called...why in the world would he call me to see where I was if she was there...and then he acted real weird and overly lovey-dovey towards me...saying things like I am the only one and I'm number one to him....for no reason..does it seem right? I feel funny about it.....
2007-03-19 10:14:22 · 48 answers · asked by Sinking Slowly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I also think he was calling to make sure I was busy so he could spend more time with her.....
2007-03-19 10:27:50 · update #1
And she does know he is married...in fact she is married too but in a bad marriage
2007-03-26 03:40:35 · update #2
it isn't right. if he isn't cheating yet, he is thinking about it.
he may not even realize he is thinking about it, but he is.
you need to take strong action now. sit him down, tell him you won't stand for this behaviour, he needs to stop right now and you both need to go to counselling.
the thing is you need to be ready to back up your demands. if he doesn't stop what are you going to do? cause he probably won't stop. and if you push the envelope and then back off he'll know you'll put up with any behaviour he wants to dish out.
so......think it thru carefully, plan what you are going to say, even going as far as writing it down so that you will remain calm during your talk and what your ultimatum is to him. then be prepared to act on it. if you say you are going to leave you have to be ready to do so.
good luck to you sweetie, you may be in for a rough ride, but if you handle it correctly and he is willing to work with you, your marriage will survive.
2007-03-27 08:24:37 · answer #1 · answered by the quiet one 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry, I would say this dog is cheating. His behavior is way way wrong for a married man. Married men are not supposed to carry on this way. I feel really bad for you.
To add to the above persons suggestion, I actually busted my ex cheating by placing a digital tape recorder (voice activated) under the driver seat of his car. You can purchase very strong double stick tape to use. Its a bit boring to listen to but if hes cheating you will find out most likely. Good luck.
2007-03-19 10:24:38 · answer #2 · answered by alexandria1_1999 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am affraid to break the bad news to you because i know how you feel and its not a feeling i would even wish on my worst enemy. Anyway girl open your eyes and put your heart aside. If he hasnt screwed her he definitly has it on his mind. And as far as im concerned thats equily as bad. Guilty. Go with your gut feeling. Trust me. You have nothing to loose besides this Piece of S---. Poor excuse for a man. Oh and isnt being in a relationship about making eachother happy. Talking about the things that bother us and if we care at all we will fix it. Do you get it? His calling you is for his safety on getting caught. You know whats up. Dont let him know that you are on to him make him think you trust him thats the only way you will catch him cold busted cause he wont be expecting it. He will have his guard down. You start going out even just to the park. Make him wonnder what you are doing.
2007-03-19 10:56:45 · answer #3 · answered by coats_shannon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and speak to him. If you dont like the answers he gives, I suggest a marriage counselor. He should as your husband keep you in mind above any other friends, if he does something that you are not comfortable with, you both should come to a compromise. The situation sounds fishy at the very least, and could cause potential marriage problems at the worst.
2007-03-27 10:10:09 · answer #4 · answered by Niko 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No this is not right. She is too personal with your husband. Gifts given to a married man should be shared by the wife.Time for you to talk to Missy and the best place is in her office. Make an appointment using a false name. Show up dressed to kill (business) and quietly discuss the issue. I promise you she'll back off.
2007-03-24 14:39:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he is cheating on you with her (or getting ready to cheat on you with her - hard to tell if he actually has but it doesn't matter) so drop this guy right now from your life. He is living with you and cheating deliberately and brazenly lying to you. Such bad news, it's not even worth arguing with him. His lies are what are keeping him going in this sex drama. As for her, she has to be a complete slut or an idiot or both because I am assuming she knows he is married. If she doesn't, then he lies to her as well.
Put about a million miles between yourself and this guy, get over the hurt as best you can and go on to lead a happy life - which will never happen with him.
2007-03-23 20:36:18 · answer #6 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey...he is cheating on you with her..I'd bet my life on it...and she is cheating on her husband..it is a SIN..it is wrong...if you have no children file for a divorce...when a man is all sweet and perfect he did something wrong and wants to try and make sure he doesn't send any signals to you that he is doing anything bad...........DIVORCE him....he will never change, never...and there is a good chance he will cheat on her too when he is done with her...if you have children? Both go to therapy and get professional help.It is the least you both can do for the children. BUT if he doesn't own up and say the truth and be responsible for his actions AND go to therapy and be honest DIVORCE him....
2007-03-27 06:31:21 · answer #7 · answered by angeleyez1956@verizon.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, I really see that as the behavior of a cheater. I don't know what to tell you to do about it, but don't act like it can't happen to you. It happens to the best of us. If he's not going to come clean with it, that puts the responsibility on your shoulders to make the decision about what to do about the relationship. That really is the unfair part. He doesn't want to deal with making the decision himself if he wants to be out, he's putting it on you to make so that he doesn't have to. Then you get to be the bad guy because your leaving him, and he gets to play helpless victim, when he was the one who was unfaithful.
2007-03-27 07:06:42 · answer #8 · answered by Lady M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will just write to say I agree with the vast majority of posters.
No, it isn't right that they spend a lot of time together.
Yes, it's fishy.
Yes, it's wrong of them.
Yes, you are right and there is something going on.
My question is: What are you going to do?
Confirm your suspicions and split up?
Or pretend -as you have been doing up to now- that nothing is wrong?
Think about this.....
Good luck.
2007-03-26 10:23:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, your instinct is almost there. Now you need a PI to help you if you want evidence. next time he call you to check if you are busy.. act busy but you are actually outside the gym.. caught him unprepared. if he get angry or anxious, just reply him that you miss him so much and it has been a long time you give him a surprise! :P
2007-03-26 02:06:37 · answer #10 · answered by TO 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋