Okay, so I talked to my husband again, like many of you advised about the "rare" sex thing. It ended up the same way it always does, even though he's the one that asked ME what was bothering me. He ranted, and raved about how I'm "all about sex", made me feel inhumane because I'd like to have it more than once a month, and it ended with him shouting in my face, calling me "names", and then telling me not to bother sleeping in the same room with him. He left this morning, without a goodbye or anything. I'm tired of doing without, while he "pervs it up" online and "out there" while he works. He also said, "If you need sex, then GO OUT THERE AND GET IT!" I'm getting the silent treatment again. I'm done talking. What would you do for step two?
2007-03-19 09:49:34 · 18 answers · asked by a_lot_smarter_now 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
As an honorable man in a marriage relationship I find the behavior of your husband to be apalling.
He is acting like a little child and he's even having temper tantrums to boot. You have married a child and there is a VERY GOOD chance he'll never grow up.
At this point, honestly, you need to take a very realistic look if you want to stay in this marriage. If you have kids that changes things but if you don't have any children, there is nothing holding you there.
I wish I could have 10 minutes with that jerk. I'd straighten him out very fast.
FP
2007-03-19 09:56:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Okay, that's not good at all. I'm not going to bash him, though that's my first instinct.
I think I missed the first part, but this part is bad enough. I would tell him that you would like for the two of you to go to marriage counseling. That you want to work on your marriage, but you need for him to go with you. Tell him that you are not pointing any fingers, or trying to place blame. Tell him that your hope is to save your marriage. I don't think he knows how much damage he is doing to your marriage and to you as a person (he's treating you much worse than a discarded animal).
If he is unwilling to go, then ask him how long he intends to stay in the marriage. Let him know that you are growing tried of the way things currently are. Ask him what he intends to do about it. If he says nothing, then decide whether you can live with that. If not ... you don't deserve your current treatment in my opinion, but yours is the one that truly counts.
On a separate note, if he's not willing to take care of you sexually, and you become frustrated, take matters into your own hands!!
2007-03-19 10:06:09 · answer #2 · answered by Dino 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Um, honey, I think that once-a-month sex is the least of the problems you're having in this marriage. All I can say is that if my husband was THIS disrespectful to me, he would not be my husband anymore - I don't care how often the sex was. I have no idea how a couple can resolve ANY problem if mutual respect is completely absent. Back off the issue of sex, and address the glaring lack of respect and communication.
2007-03-19 09:55:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
WHOA.
Your husband has a real serious problem. If you went and asked him that and THAT was how he reacted, he's either a psychopath or he has some other serious problem.
Maybe he is gay? Maybe he is ashamed of something? Maybe he feels like he can't perform to your satisfaction? If he feels like he dissappoints you then he certainly will.
He needs to get into a therapist's office. Don't threaten. Tell him you love him and you need your marriage to work. Tell him you'll go with him, or not, whichever he prefers, as long as he promises to talk to the therapist.
2007-03-19 09:51:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, It sounds like its time for you to get out. Go make a good Life for yourself and leave the selfish jerk to his Internet Porn. If you do not have affection and communication and No respect, WTH do you have left to make this marriage work? If the Loves not gone yet, with that kind of behaviour it will be , before too much Longer.
2007-03-19 09:58:48 · answer #5 · answered by donna_honeycutt47 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Da** that is rough. Sorry to hear that. Well, you could either go out and get sex from someone else like he suggested, or suffer in silence.
I believe intimacy is very important in a relationship and shouldn't be neglected but compromised on if there are two different desires.
So, that being said--if you cannot compromise--find someone else.
2007-03-19 09:53:52 · answer #6 · answered by intewonfan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow.. Tough one.. I believe your husband has some issues.. I've been married almost 20 years and I jump at the chance to have sex with my wife everytime she wants it! If he won't talk with you about it you may need to try and seek out some counseling and eventualy involve him..... Communication is the key but it sounds like he's unwilling. Best of luck!
2007-03-19 10:41:47 · answer #7 · answered by Foz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what it sounds like to you....but it sounds like HE is out there Gettin' it!
I would have him followed to be sure. It is not like a man to not want sex from his wife unless he is trying to hide an ED or "something"....
I think he has real issues and doesn't sound like they will get any better if he can't talk to you without yelling in your face. I would not accept that behavior!
2007-03-19 09:55:14 · answer #8 · answered by sugarbud 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this sounds like he is pushing you away hard. See when someone is cheating they feel slightly guilty about it and instead of saying I'm sorry and stopping, he lashes out at you and blames you, so hes hoping that you get mad and cheat on him too. This is to make him feel better about what hes doing (cheating on you). He doesn't know how to deal with his guilt so his anger is going to get worse and hes going to blame you more. I'm sorry about this situation cause it doesn't sound like it going to end well for you. Personally I think I would take a trip to my mother's house and camp out there until he realizes what hes done or until you figure out how this is going end. P.s this is what happened with my boyfriend and i before I found out he was cheating with his ex. sorry
2007-03-19 10:16:02 · answer #9 · answered by anotherblondie01 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-19 02:37:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋