Here's how it goes:
"From Afar"
as I gaze into his brown eyes
I begin to realize
that he will never know how i feel
and nothing in the world could heal
my lonely heart
but he will always be a part of me
And now I see
that he will always think of me
as ordinary
he will always be extraordinary
I will forever gaze at him from afar
but i will never know who you really are
without him, i feel low
but he will never know
who's really inside of me
2007-03-19 09:24:57 · 11 answers · asked by no use for a name : ] 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Music
this poem does mean somethin 2 me
2007-03-19 09:38:22 · update #1
it sounds/looks like a continuous stream of consciousness that has just been broken into sentence fragments. there is some rhyming though... keep practicing and reading !
2007-03-19 09:33:33 · answer #1 · answered by Casey C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your lines are too short. Like another commented, it appears like a bunch of fragments.
I would put the first 3 lines together, like so:
"As I gaze into his brown eyes, I begin to realize
that he will never know how i feel"
then develop a longer line to rhyme with feel, like so:
"Living without him feels like a deep wound that nothing in the world can heal"
2007-03-19 16:43:44 · answer #2 · answered by sirtitan45 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it but if you are talking about a real guy move on, its not going to happen.
2007-03-19 16:48:33 · answer #3 · answered by Sukie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were able to get what you felt across thats
a good thing .I do believe i like it!
2007-03-19 16:34:26 · answer #4 · answered by ____ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is very good. It must have taken a lot of work.
2007-03-19 16:30:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's good, nothing extraordinary.... but reflects true feelings - The only thing that decides if it's good is if it means something to you.
2007-03-19 16:36:20 · answer #6 · answered by eyes of glass 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very emotional..is this situaution going on in your life right now?
2007-03-19 16:33:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it.
2007-03-19 16:31:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this poem is so wonderful
2007-03-19 19:48:38 · answer #9 · answered by Zara 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its actually pathetic
2007-03-19 16:30:14 · answer #10 · answered by ctcougar360 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋