Can someone proofread this sentence(Objective for resume)?

Question

OBJECTIVE To apply my quantitative and organizational skills to a
Personal Banker of a commercial bank.

Answer 1

Try this.

To offer my strong desire to help clients with their personal banking needs by applying my quantitative and organizational skills as well as my degree/experience in commercial banking.

Answer 2

This sentence should read as follows:
Objective: To apply quantitative and organizational skills as a personal banker within a commercial banking institution.

Answer 3

Objective: To apply (or utilize) my quantitative and organizational skills as a personal banker in a commercial bank.

Answer 4

First off, I work for a bank so I can help. It sounds as if your objective may be too vague. Often times with HR, an unclear objective may be a turn off. You need to be more specific in the position you want so employees can say "Wow! This guy wants this specific position. Let's talk with him." Also, don't use the word "bank" twice in your objective.

I will shoot a guess: "To apply my organizational & quantitative skills in personal banking in the Commercial Business."

Answer 5

Objective: To apply my quantative and organizational skills to a Professional banking institute, and further develop my skills toward a career in Personal Banking.

Answer 6

Try this:

To become an outstanding, professional Personal Banker utilizing my strengths in quatitative analysis and strong organizational skills.

Answer 7

I would not use the word quantitative, it sounds like you are full of yourself. And honestly, it doesn't even make sense. The last part with "bank" is a bit redundant.

Answer 8

Sounds like you're going to perform lewd acts on a personal banker! :) How about "to BECOME a personal banker...."

Answer 9

to being a personal banker at a

Answer 10

as a personal banker...