ive been preoccupied with this and its affecting my productivity. am dating a guy who has lots of issues: 1)hes closeted, 2)never given affection as a child, 3)schools comes first right now and never thought hed be in a relationship till he was 30 --hes now 25, 4) needs to sexually experiment still bc he gets validation about his body from it, 5) admits he has low self esteem, 6) has trouble showing emotions, 7)smokes pot regularly, 8)lies, admits hes selfish, and plays mind games, 9)says i deserve better and doesnt kno why i like him so much, 10) doesnt want to be physical w. me now but says we're not broken up, its too much pressure bc of all his issues and its not as fun knowing he has me available, 11) says we're still bf's and knows no one wud ever treat him as good as me and things cud "come back around." he has shown he cares, and i understand him and the wall he makes.i dont want to let it go, is this a waste of time or cud it b worth going with it and me trying to b patient?
2007-03-19 09:13:41 · 11 answers · asked by whatwouldyoudo 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Does your low self esteem come from being gay? Grow up and act like a man!
2007-03-19 09:19:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
Not so much as abusive as neglecting, I would say. I had a girlfriend like that once. She sounds a lot like your boyfriend. She had problems 1,3,4,5,6,8,9,and 11.
It was hard to let go of her, yes. I promised her I'd be there for her forever, and it killed me to have to break that promise. I understood why she did what she did, and a part of me thought that maybe if I waited just a bit longer, she'd come around. And she'd have good days, where she made me feel like I was queen of the world, if only hers. But she also had bad days, where she wouldn't speak to me at all.
Take it from someone who's been there, get out of that relationship. You deserve better. Maybe you don't think so, but you do. You deserve someone who's going to appreciate you for who you are, not what you can do for them.
Don't look over any notes or gifts he's given you, because that'll only make it worse. Just tell him goodbye, that it's been 'fun' but you have to move on with your life. Give yourself a month's worth or mourning time (because you'll need it) and then dust yourself off, and begin a new.
It'll be a bit lonely, at first, on your own, and maybe a bit scary. But it'll be a lot happier. Or maybe you can just sit there, and continue *trying* to be patient with him, and hope that he'll change in the long run.
It's up to you, really.
2007-03-19 10:18:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it really is the abused woman syndrome. a lot of people, such because the abused individual won't be able to understand why the appeal remains there, even even if their head tells them it really is the incorrect to be with the abuser. shop telling your self that you probably did the right element--and with assistance from the way, congrats for procuring your self out of that. Time and persevered counseling may help you to get again to your self once again. it form of feels bizarre and crappy today, i be conscious of, yet in awhile you'll start up to experience more advantageous powerful. so some distance as assistance to stay away? in case you start up to imagine about it, make your self imagine about something else or do something else to distract your self till the urge passes. you should administration this like breaking an habit, because it truly is truly what it really is. shop drawing near right here asking and answering questions. There are people right here who've been via what you're dealing with and it facilitates to entice close you at the instantaneous are not on my own. Chin up, girlfriend.
2016-11-26 22:57:24 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whew, that's a lot to take on. Maybe you guys should just take a break, date other people, see where it goes. Don't wait around for him right now, it sounds like he needs to experiment and do his own thing. And it doesn't sound very healthy for you. Sorry, but it sounds like you're getting the bad end of that deal.
2007-03-19 09:19:19 · answer #4 · answered by jjspike 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we already told you to run as fast as you can,what else do you want to hear. The guy is playing with you and now I get the idea you like playing victim, if you love your self then you'll find someone that appreciate you, no some scumbag that treat you like trash but still want to call you his boyfriend. Snap out of it!
2007-03-19 09:21:00 · answer #5 · answered by rickyhunter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you like being used, stay. If you would rather be with someone who actually does care about you, move on.
You cannot change him and things will not 'come back around'. That's just something he says to keep you there as a fallback.
2007-03-19 09:40:48 · answer #6 · answered by Sun: supporting gay rights 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a class-A, textbook abuse victim. All of this may be true but no number of excuses make it okay to stay with someone who is not able to be in a healthy relationship. He has his own stuff to work out, and you should leave him to it. Alone.
2007-03-19 09:19:28 · answer #7 · answered by kaligirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl you need to walk away! Abuse is abuse and should not be taken lightly! He does mean it or he would get help and stop!
2007-03-19 09:20:03 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question should be'what am I doing with this loser?'.
Get rid of this child and you grow up.
2007-03-19 10:45:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just dump him.
2007-03-19 10:20:55 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋