A talk with my daugther...?

Question

I would like a parent's opinion on this...

i recently found this web-site through my daughter who was very upset. I stumbled upon it on accident actually. She wrote NUMEROUS notes about how she was upset about prom and her friends ditching her asking people for advice. I confronted my daughter about this and she started crying. She seems VERY VERY upset over this whole situation.

I suggested to my daughter that she and some of her friends that are NOT attending prom and or some underclass friends go to the shore the weekend of her prom. She agreed to this. The thing is that in the U.S. one cannot rent a hotel room under the age of 18. So..I am renting three rooms for my daughter. One for 4 girls One for 4 Boys and one for My daughter's boyfriend's mother and I. I plan on being down there in case of an emergency but I am telling all the mother's if they ask that I am not and will not be held responsible for there children or the actions of there children.

is that good parenting?

Do you feel as if i am being to over protective?

They are not minors they are 18 years old. At least most of them are....I am presuming

Answer 1

I think it's interesting and telling that you are asking if this is good parenting. There is a reason you're questioning this & it would appear that it's because you have doubts about this behavior. I think it's something that, regardless of all the answers you'll receive, that you should seriously think about.

For what it's worth I believe that you are opening yourself up to a lot of liabilities. And, regardless of you telling the other parents that you are not responsible for their children and their actions you are providing them with hotel rooms. If something happens to their children in this hotel room, unsupervised, because you provided them with the room, chances are the other parents won't accept your declaration of not being held responsible.

You mention that you and another woman will be there in case of an emergency, which is great but you've already let the other parents and children know that you accept no liability or personal responsibility for their children. That's a tough pill for a parent to swallow. There are so many nightmare stories about young adults getting into dangerous situations today that even though teens are savvy and know so much they don't know it all. However much they believe they do. They need parents exercising good judgment and watching out for them.

Also, there is a reason that hotels do not want to rent out rooms to underage people such as the fear of accidents, destruction of property, theft, underage drinking and much more. Your daughter and her friends, I'm sure are lovely, but things can get out of control very quickly. Have you considered the real possibility of the teens not sticking to your rule of girls in one room and boys in another? Chances are they won't stay in a gender designated room because that's what some teens will do when they're not supervised. Lastly, in the end it's you who is paying for the room so if there is any issue it will come back to you.

I think your heart is in the right place but I'm not sure if it is the wisest decision. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Answer 2

The thing is, I think you should be responsible for all those children. It's kind of like if you had a party at your house, you would be responsible if teens left your house drunk, or left your party and beat someone up, or even if they didn't get home ok. And since you are the one paying for their rooms and putting the rooms in your name, I think in a way you have made yourself their guardien and chaperone.

Now, with that said, you did a nice thing for your daughter, and she will probably appreciate it very much. You really need to be aware of all the friends that she has decided to take along, make sure you have emergency numbers, and all of their information, in case of an emergency. Even if there is an accident, and one of the children needs to go to the hospital, you will be the responsible adult in charge.

Just think if the roles were reversed, and your daughter was invited by someone else to do the same thing..you would surely want to know there is a responsible adult there to make sure all is well.

Teens are still kids, and probably make the most idiotic decisions.

If they are 18, well that is a different case, I believe. But, you need not presume...you need to be sure! And regardless, you should still be looking out for everyones best interest that weekend. Remember, 21 is the legal drinking age, you can land yourself in jail if something else occurs.

Answer 3

Yes that is excellent parenting. If the parents to the other kids agree to let them go knowing that you will not be held responsible for their kids actions then hey I think you are in the clear all together. It sounds like you are a good mom.

Answer 4

i believe if you rent the rooms for the kids.......u will be held responsible...no matter what you tell the parents.
in my opinion...the parents who let the kids go without supervision is lacking in the parental area. i hope you arent getting yourself into a mess. good luck.

Answer 5

wellll I doubt it will stay one for the girls and one for the guys....they could swapt over to the other room...just call randomly everyonce in awhile...but again if they are sexually active they could do it anywhere not just in the rooms...but there is more pressure on prom night.

Answer 6

I think that by offering this to underage people, that you are liable and should be held accountable for these minors.

Answer 7

I am actually a teen.But I've to say this---- YOU ARE THE BEST PARENT IN THE WHOLE WORLD!(I mean it).But of course you are the second best as mine are first.

Answer 8

I don't think your being to over protected. I think your doing the right thing. I wish you were my father when I was younger.

Answer 9

Yes, I think you have done the best you can for your daughter.

Answer 10

I think that is a great thing you are doing, and being there is what makes it responsible.