How many women to you know in their late 30's early 40's that have had babies?

Question

I had my children when I was in my 20's. My sister-in-law is pregnant with her first child and she is getting ready to turn 39. It seems she is going to the doctor much more often than I had to. I want to be supportive but she seems to be milking this pregnancy thing and expecting everyone to bend over backwards for her. Is there really a difference at her age. Should she be resting all of the time? She is due Sept 7th. And she is in great physical shape. I guess I'm trying to figure out if I'm jealous because I was never treated any differently during all three of my pregnancies or if I'm just disgusted with her because she wants the world to revolve around her. What do you think?

She's expecting me to come to her home and clean it. She says she can't make a dish to bring to our family get together because she's pregnant. She seems to be in a great mood all the time and soaking up everything that everyone is doing for her. My brother is a wonderful man. But it's sickening how he bows down to her and does what ever she asks. I think it's nice to be loving and to be in a give and take relationship. I just think it's over the top when you can't even wash your dinner plate or empty a light trash can. I remember being a new mom and being excited and cautious but I was nothing like her. I'm upset because she wants me to put my life on hold to cater to her when I didn't have that all three times. That's why I'm wondering if it's jealousy I'm feeling or resentment. I am happy for them. I just think my life should be put on hold to pamper someone who is quite capable of taking care of herself.

Answer 1

I had my first when I was about 19, my second at 29, and my third now at 37 it has definately gotten harder with each one so maybe cut her some slack? I am exausted all the time!

You added to yours, Ill add to mine. It does sound a bit like shes milking her pregnancy with the added details, as exausted as I am I can still take my own garbage out. (though I would rather not) it sounds as though shes got some princess ego going on, but once her pregnancy ends this will pass, just try to be happy for your brother and ignore her for the remainder of her pregnancy. I really dont understand why she expects you to clean her house? Tell your brother thats his mess and his job!

Answer 2

I'm 40 and pregnant with my first child. Personally, I don't know very many women who intentionally got pregnant in their 20s, and so I have to believe that for my demographic, having babies in 30s and 40s is becoming the norm.

Your sister-in-law is undergoing more tests and screenings than you did. Despite her great health, she may be seeing a doctor more often because her age is a factor. After 35, a woman is more likely to have a baby with Downs Syndrome or to miscarry, but even so, the odds of having a healthy baby are still very much in her favor.

Are you jealous her pregnancy or of all the attention she is getting? Only you can answer that. Do you crave attention? Or do you want another baby of your own? I think that if you are a little jealous, that's okay. It may even be normal since you know what a wonderful experience it is to be a new mother. She has a lot of very exciting "firsts" to look forward to. If your own life has become a little monotonous, I would think envy would be a natural reaction.

Is your sister-in-law "milking this pregnancy thing?" That's a possibility, too. I think we all know women who act like they are the only one who has ever been pregnant and no baby is as special as their baby! Was your sister-in-law a drama queen before she got pregnant? If so, she may be playing this pregnancy for all she can.

So even if you are jealous and she is a drama queen, try to be happy for her and supportive. Also, take care of yourself emotionally. If she is asking too much of you, say, "no." I'm sure she has other people who can help her out.

Godspeed.

Answer 3

I am 25 with 2 children ages 5 and 3 and another due any time now. I am glad I had/having my kids at a younger age. my aunt got pregnant the same time I did with my first. She was 42. She had to undergo all sorts of prenatal testing that was unneccesary for me. She also had more frequent doctors appts. She had to take stress tests ect. And yes it did seem that people were more concerned with her and her pregnancy rather than mine. Which is normal, she was twice my age at the time, and was considered a high risk pregnancy, because of her age. I think maybe you just need to relax a little. She is probably just really excited being her first child and all. Some women do think the world revolves around them when they are pregnant, let them think that. Just be supportive of her.

Answer 4

My sister in law finally had a healthy baby at 40 and is now trying to get pregnant again at 42 but with great difficulty. She already had a miscarriage. I guess at this age your SIL is over the top excited to be having her first and probably milking it, but she might have some deep down fears because of her age, I guess we should all be happy for eahother whenever a baby comes. It is a blessing to have a baby at an older age.

Answer 5

I have been given pregnant at 37. I did have some issues of tachycardia interior the 1st trimester, yet I certainly have had those issues on account that i became 25. otherwise, my being pregnant became super. never an afternoon of morning sickness. Glucose became super. I additionally enjoyed being pregnant. He have been given the hiccups on a daily basis. there is not any longer something like feeling a toddler pass interior you. hard artwork became a ****** yet I had a healthful son. I craved steak and ice cream, I nevertheless crave them too. If we lived in a acceptable international i might say that 30 may be the suited age. you will desire to no longer be tied down with a baby on your early 20's. you will desire to be having exciting. If I had carried out it at 30, i might have certainly needed yet another one.

Answer 6

I had my boys at 33 and 37. My sister is 35 and pregnant with her first. I have friends who had children in their early 40's. She is (and this is not a knock on her - I was called the same thing) of "advanced maternal age." She may be in great shape, but she's still 39. Statistically, women over 35 may have more complications or are more at risk of having babies with complications. Be thankful you were healthy and young when you had your babies.

Answer 7

my mom had my brother 2 months before she turned 41... I know that the older you are, there is more of a chance of downs syndrome and miscarriage, etc. Seems that her first trimester is over so the chance of miscarriage is much less... and if the baby has downs syndrome, it has downs syndrome... resting doesn't have anything to do with that. Sounds to me like she is just making a big deal about it because she has never had a baby before... if I were you I would be jealous too-- if she gets to be treated like royalty, you should have been too!

Answer 8

me! Im 36 and 31 weeks pregnant with first. so far NO problems at all , babies very healthy and I haven't been to docs any more than any other pregnant woman! Its very immature an d petty to be jealous, just be happy your niece/nephew is getting lots of good care, thats all u should be worried about!

Answer 9

It sounds like you're jealous.

Every woman's pregnancy experience is different. Get over it.