My wife and I are not on the same page in the bedroom. How can I get her to be more open minded?

Question

We are a middle aged couple in our late 40's and early 50's (she). I am the communicator in the bedroom and in the past two years she wants sex less and it almost seems she can do without it. I am still a fit man and could have many other women if I wanted but I don't. I love everything about my wife except her sex drive and the fact that she will not communicate with me about this subject.

Ladies, help me out. What do you suggest I do?

ps: counseling is out of the question, I have already asked her to see a counseler due to her not wanting sex anymore and she will not hear of it. She does not want to discuss it so what does a man do now?

Let me add to my subject line. HOW CAN I GET MY WIFE TO OPEN UP TO ME to try to fix her sexual problem? When I mentioned open minded, I meant open minded enough to communicate through her problem.

Answer 1

I'm in my late 20's and I could do without sex. Sometimes it's just normal for a woman to loose desire. You can't really encourage her to do it and there really isn't any quick fix drug, trust me.

I would ask her to communicate what stimulates her. Once you find out what stimulates her play off that.

Answer 2

While this may sound strange, find a friend of hers who will be willing to help you. Have the friend host a party, something like Pure Romance, Slumber Parties, etc. These are for women only, and are lots of fun. This may expose her to some things that she may not seek out on her own, but she may be willing to experiment once she sees that they can be fun and will bring her some enjoyment. They are very private and turn out to be a few hours of fun and relaxation when laughing with other women! She may find things she likes, even something as simple as bubble bath with a vibrating sponge ball, and will be willing to share with you. She may have so much fun that she hosts her own party and you can look at the catalogs together which will bring up the subject in a fun way!

Answer 3

Tell her how you feel, honestly and without accusations. Tell her that sex is an important part of marriage to you, and that although you would never force her, you'd like to find something that works for both of you. Perhaps intercourse turns her off, but she'd like manual stimulation. Invite her to have a romantic night where she calls the shots, or if she's not into that, invite her to tell you (even in writing!) what she WOULD be okay with doing. Then, to get back into it, respect her wishes completely and do only what she's into. Hopefully it will get her back in the game.

Answer 4

if you try to talk to her about she will start to feel that maybe something is wrong with her and then she will get depressed, so you need to increase her sex drive and she will start putting out more, when she does make sure that you tell her or show her which ever she'll understand better that you find her attractive etc. At the GNC vitamin place they have a product called JAGUAR like the car and animal it's drops, put it in her drink follow the directions it will increase her sex drive.

Answer 5

She may have physical reasons that sex does not interest her anymore. She should see a doctor.

Ruling out physical problems, perhaps you can spend a little longer teasing her and enticing her into the bedroom. I love it when my husband flirts with me all day and builds the anticipation.

Answer 6

You must remember that back when your wife was growing up that talking about sex was taboo, so it may be hard to get her to open up. She may be going through the change and this may be why she has no sex drive. See if you can get her to see her doctor about the problem , she may be more open to talking to her doctor.

Answer 7

Obviously your wife's problem is hormonal. She is engering menopause, and with that comes less of a need for sex. I can suggest that she see her doctor about it, he might put her on hormone replacement therapy for awhile, but YOU need to stop viewing it as a "problem" because it's not a "problem" it is a natural progression of female life.

Answer 8

If she is going through menopause she should consult with her gynecologist about her sex drive. It is fairly common for some women to experience lower levels of sex drive during menopause.

Answer 9

More then likely she is going through menopause. Go to the bookstore and read about the symptoms, and try to help her with it. It will get better there is sex during, and after menopause believe me I know.

Answer 10

first off, your age difference a big problem. Man should be a bit older than the woman not the reverse.