i have this new guy im dating, and i like him a lot. the only thing is, we dont really have all that much to talk about... i mean, we do, but i am so bad at getting to know people. i try to make small talk and tell funny stories, etc, but all of my stories and efforts of small talk trail off and leave us in silence again. i see all of my friends who are great at entertaining crowds and making conversation with people they dont know well... and im so jealous!!! what is their secret??? help me out please!
2007-03-19 08:38:47 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I used to be that way. It's all about confidence and being comfortable around the people/person you're with. If you force yourself to try and be funny or whatever then you won't get very good results. First, have your mind focused on what you're about to say. Make sure you have your words right and all. Important thing to do first is find out what he's interested in and what the two of you may have in common. Ask questions about his past-times, little things like that. Girl, I know a lot of funny jokes and stories. Email me and I can help you out sweetie. I ain't gonna leave you out in the cold like this. You deserve this guy.
2007-03-19 08:45:38 · answer #1 · answered by Just get it over with already!! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You only have to make 50% of the effort towards conversation, the other person has responsibility for the other 50%. So if you are making all the effort perhaps he is having problems making conversation too?
One good way to start conversation is to ask open questions (one's that can't be answered with a yes/no response) about their interests, hobbies, etc. People like talking about themselves and being listened to. Then they do a lot of the talking in answering you and take the pressure off you to be entertaining. If you listen carefully to the answer then you could ask further questions based on their response; or share your hobbies or whatever in return.
Remember, it is Ok to be naturally your real self, you don't have to pretend to be someone else who you think they might prefer....and if you are feeling shy and nervous you might try saying that, perhaps they are feeling that way too but also feel unable to say so. Good luck!
2007-03-19 09:14:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best way to get to know someone is to ask open-ended questions, like why and how? That leaves them free to give a long, detailed answer. Then you can ask questions/make comments about their answer, and offer your own experiences. The only way to improve this is time and practice. I took some improv classes in college, which helps with the quick responses. Of course, some pretty stupid things come flying out from time to time; all I can do is laugh at myself and move on.
2007-03-19 08:43:32 · answer #3 · answered by oj 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ummm. when im around a guy i reali dont know what to say either because its somebody that u like. Just say what you have been doing this whole week or the movies coming out his week and if he would like to go to the movies. His interests in cars, sports, video games and all that boy interests. His favorite foods and the parties going on that week or the special occasions. Your birthday presents. Ur embarrasing moments and ur wishes. I dont know. Try it, probably im rite
2007-03-19 08:47:09 · answer #4 · answered by ohitsyou(= 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can talk about music, or things that you really like. Also, try to find something that you have in common so that he can add to the conversation and it will go on for longer. Sometimes it helps to think of him as if he were your best friend, not your boyfriend. If you run out of things to talk about you can ask him a question.
Hope this helps :)
2007-03-19 08:42:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
One of the keys to talking to people is knowing one thing: people love to talk about themselves. You can't expect to have everything in common or to know things about him that he has not told you, so ask him general questions and get him talking.
My favorite pick-up line when I chat up a girl in a bar is simply 'How was your day?' You would be amazed the amount of people who just want to vent about their job or family life.
The key is to ask open ended questions that will get them to talk and not just give a one word 'yes or no' response.
2007-03-19 08:43:49 · answer #6 · answered by sloth15 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing wrong with silence. Try finding a common ground, like books or movies, but really, if he isn't fishing for info on you as much as you are on him, then maybe this isn't the guy for you. If it was, you two would be keeping each other up at night trying to get to know each other.
2007-03-19 08:42:18 · answer #7 · answered by moveplease 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Stop being so not open with yourself. There is something inside you that everyone possesses but you must be willing to let it come out. Stop being so afraid to sound stupid at times b/c we all say or do stupid things. Just open up to yourself first and it will not be hard to open up to others.
2007-03-19 08:43:24 · answer #8 · answered by Christina 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Start off by being yourself.. Thats who he was interested in to begin with. You could talk about your families, your hobbies, what type of sports he likes. What does he enjoy doing. What type of movies you like tv programs etc..
2007-03-19 08:42:26 · answer #9 · answered by MJ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes being in party settings, or large group gatherings where you know very few people very well can be overwhelming. Learning how to mingle can be helpful for your self-confidence, and in business/professional settings later on in life.
I found this "art of mingling" steps to be helpful
http://coaches.aol.com/wellness/jeanne-martinet/art-of-mingling
2007-03-19 09:39:20 · answer #10 · answered by livehealthyguru 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋