I have a good friend who regularly invites my husband and me to dine with her at her home. My husband likes my friend, but he hates her dog and refuses to attend these dinner parties because he says her dog is untrained and unruly. He (the dog, not my husband) jumps on guests and sits by the table begging throughout dinner--it IS very annoying. So, I go to her house without him and I usually make some excuse for his absense. This has been going on for about a year.
Recently, my friend has asked if my husband and I are having problems because he never accompanies me. She has also asked me if he doesn't like her or her cooking since he avoids her dinners.
How can I tell her the truth without hurting her feelings? She LOVES this dog as if it were her child. The truth would devastate her.
Please do not recommend that we all go out for dinner instead. My friend really loves entertaining in her home.
Also, please note that my husband does not hate all dogs--just this one!
2007-03-19 08:37:18 · 11 answers · asked by museumdoll 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Honestly, as much as you would like to resolve the situation, it is not your place to do so.
It doesn't sound like this lady would appreciate restricting the dog to a certain area. She would not enjoy herself and not be able to relax, to make anyone feel welcomed enough, because her dog was excluded to accommodate your husband.
Your husband has left you hanging in the wind.
I doubt he is even aware of this, but he has excused himself from the situation, with no understanding where it has left you.
Either way, he has to correct this situation out of consideration for you. Because although he no longer has to put up with the dog, he has left you to lie or cover up on his behalf. And at some point, you will look like the bad one, because your in the middle. And your the one eating at her table, knowing the truth.
Ask him to come the next time you go.
Bring a really juicy large hard bone that will last forever.
At dinner time, have your husband suprise the dog with it.
The dog will go off in a corner and chew it for hours.
Do that everytime you visit.
P.S. Your husband is not out of line about his feelings towards this dog. The lady should show your husband or anyone else respect that comes to visit. But, right now, you need your husband to resolve this on your behalf. And there is a way. Ask him to give it one more shot....re: large dog bone...if it doesn't work, then let him tell the lady, that he likes her dog, but finds it a little overwhelming when he is all over him. Be gentle and get the point across and it should work.!
2007-03-19 09:23:28 · answer #1 · answered by sweetcitywoman2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well she's an adult and so are you. Tell her the truth, that you love coming over for dinner, but the dog should be outside or in another room, because not everybody likes to have a dog's nose in their food while they are eating and your husband is one of them. She will probably laugh and wonder why you haven't said anything about it before. I have 4 dogs that are well behaved, but if one of my friend thought that they weren't and told me about it, well I would put them outside while we are eating, if she gets mad, oh well, she's not really a good friend in the first place and you're lucky your husband isn't mad at you for going without him, and you should be more concern about not going out with your husband then about your friend's feelings.
Good luck
2007-03-19 08:42:16 · answer #2 · answered by johanne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you love the dog, he loves the dog, reassure her that while yes it is a VERY lovely doggy, it needs to be kept in a different room while she is entertaining. Dogs shouldnt do that, you're right. Could she train him to just lie at her feet or something?
2007-03-19 08:42:31 · answer #3 · answered by lovestomooch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should explain to hubby that he is being a jerk, then as kindly as possible, explain the same to your friend.
She may get the message and leave her buddy outside or in another room during dinner.
Hubby really needs to get over it and live with the hosts lifestyle. It's not like it's a permanent thing...
2007-03-19 08:42:13 · answer #4 · answered by credo quia est absurdum 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest with her, if she is your friend she will understand. Suggest that she should just stick the dog in her bedroom until the dinner is over.
2007-03-19 08:41:44 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could ask her to lock the dog in another room while your husband is there.
2007-03-19 08:43:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats hard but be honest...maybe she can have the dog stay in another room while you guys eat. she might be really understanding about it if you explain how its uncomfortable for you guys to enjoy a meal with dog slobber all over your feet.
2007-03-19 08:43:20 · answer #7 · answered by Chrissy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her that he is allergic to dogs and that when he comes over he gets the hives, so maybe she will offer to put the dog outside when he comes over???
2007-03-19 08:41:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she is such a good friend..
Why don't you just explain the situation to her?
I am sure a good friend would understand..:)
2007-03-19 08:41:31 · answer #9 · answered by worldtrotter4112 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
either stop going to their house or tell her to get rid of the dog
2007-03-19 08:40:05 · answer #10 · answered by samantha e 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋