Just wondering. I have a very normal life, I have a good job and a loving wife that I wouldn't trade for anything.
I feel like I am hiding things, I feel if people knew they wouldn't want to be around me...I didn't do it but I feel shame.
I grew up in a home filled with violence and an alcoholic father that was abusive beyond belief. We were poor, we moved all the time in rented apartments and homes...I feel shameful for this and I don't know why.
I had fear that I would pass this on to my children. That never happened. I loved them everyday of their lives, they all went to college and are great adults. I love them more than words could ever come close to express. My wife is wonderful, we have never had problems, we are both people of peace, love and comfort. My life is a far cry from what it once was.
anyone else???or just me
2007-03-19 08:34:37 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Look. i have been through the same thing. My father Was an achololic and i still live poor. We rent houses and yeah we don't live in the best nieghborhood. Both my brother's are drop out's and me and my younger brother are the only one's in school. This is what i tell myself everyday. life is not fair and i beileve that. Everybody is dealt a different hand, but you have to do what you have with your hand. If your hand is terrible, you got to do the best of it. I don't think it's an excuse. Life is not fair. You know.. i sit here and look around....i've been around alot of people..some of the poorest people in the world... and just like you have,they have overcome obsatcles and have made... I respect people like that. You should be proud of yourself to be able to overcome all that and to be able to have your kidsput through college and to be a wonderful man, and not to be like your father (no disrespect). This is what i say to myself everyday: You don't have any choice of who your born to or where you come from. but you have the choice of where to go on from there.I took the decision to not dropout and got accepted into one of the top high schools in fla. I think that we have the power, each and everyone of us, everyday to change our lives.
2007-03-19 09:30:36 · answer #1 · answered by The REBELution! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a fairly normal feeling, particularly in children from abusive or alchoholic situations. You were probably "trained" to feel that it was your fault, though you probably are not aware of it. My parents were not that bad, but my father was psychologically abusive and it took me many years to realize that it was NOT my fault. But I can still be forced into feeling that shame, just by talking with him for a while.
If it really bothers you, talk with your family or a close friend that you trust. That is what I did and it helped a lot. Counseling would also help, but many people don't feel comfortable with that, so sometimes just finding someone to talk with openly is enough to do it.
Good luck!
2007-03-19 15:40:19 · answer #2 · answered by Yahzmin ♥♥ 4ever 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actually it's just that your father made you feel like everything's your fault, and by the looks of it, if you treat your kids the way you've always been doing, you shouldn't fear so much. I'm ashamed of all the regrets and mistakes that I've done in the past, but I guess I shouldn't be looking in the rearview mirror so often huh?
2007-03-19 17:06:37 · answer #3 · answered by Banana Hero [sic] 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel shame and have some regrets but I cannot go back and change them so the memories of them keep from repeating the same crap over again and life is damn good because of it !!!
: )
2007-03-19 16:23:47 · answer #4 · answered by Kitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel no shame for the past, only SOME of the things I've done....You have nothing to be ashamed of and it sounds as tho you have your life and prioritys in perfect order.....I commend you on being the person you say you are.....good luck and hope you and yours have a wonderful life......
2007-03-19 15:40:41 · answer #5 · answered by The Emperor of Ecstasy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yup, I had so much family baggage I brought that drama to all my relationships without realizing it! Then I woke up one day and realized I'm not my mother and my mates aren't my father. Therefore I don't have to guard myself from or act like they did in their relationship. Now I have healthier relationships and enjoy life much more!
2007-03-19 15:46:57 · answer #6 · answered by Meems 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sometimes i feel like that, but i haven't lived life as much as you. i live with my parents but i sometimes feel that my friends wouldn't be my friends if they knew what my life is like really. but i can't wait till im older and married and have a happy life. i think you are really good to not make your family go through what you went through
2007-03-19 18:01:51 · answer #7 · answered by =0 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regret, not shame.
2007-03-19 15:38:31 · answer #8 · answered by dopeadevil23 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i feel shame for my past
2007-03-19 15:37:28 · answer #9 · answered by Dr Universe 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
on somethings, yes. on others, it wasn't my doing. Jesus forgives me for all of it.
2007-03-19 15:39:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋