what would you think if your husband hid a co-workers friendship from you?

Question

He talks about all his other female co-workers and their problems, etc.. but with one co-worker he won't talk about her at all, anymore and you know she has called and texted him. He says he erases the communication so I would not think its more than just a friendship.

to romipenne's question "anymore" about two months before I knew what was happening in her life and that at the job.

Answer 1

I would wonder if there's something going on between them

Answer 2

I agree - red flag! I didn't suspect my ex of cheating with his co-worker. Whenever she called the house or they had late meetings together - I believed him that it was just business. Boy was I stupid! I fell for it because most of their cheating was done during work hours with long lunches etc. Never again will I be that trusting. The thing you should do that I didn't - is to talk to his co-workers - especially the other women there. Ask them to be straight with you as to what they think is going on. I wish I had done that. Come to find out , almost everyone at his workplace knew about the affair or at least suspected it. They didn't tell me because they didn't want to get involved. I would rather have known their suspicions than to have let it go on for seven months and face the humiliation of having everyone know.

Answer 3

If it is just a friendship, then why is he feeling like he has something to hide? Why haven't you met her? And why would she think that it's OK to text/ call a married man on a regular basis when she doesn't know his wife? Whats in the messages that he's erasing that would make you think she's more than just a friend? If I were you I would tell him flat out that the whole thing makes you uncomfortable, and you want him to tell her that. If he respects you an d your feelings he will take care of the issue.

Answer 4

Hmmmm. Smells fishy to me. Have you checked his phone out yourself? Is her # stored? He may have it under an alias name, so look for something that don't look right. Is his cell in your name by chance & do you take care of the bills? Have you watched for unusual numbers? Some cell companies have a locator thingie (maybe called GPS?) where you can go online and check out where he is. I do know Nextel has this for like 15 bucks a month. I'd be playing private detective and documenting all you can including pics incase he is cheating and depending on your state, you could really get a lot in the end (divorce) if you can prove he has voilated the trust by stepping out of the marriage. maybe being quiet and just collecting evidence is what you need to do to "secure" your financial future. I can't stand the thought of someone cheating, man or woman and feel all cheaters need to pay in the worst way and hitting the pocket book or wallet seems to be the best way. Does his boss know he's seeing her. Many workplaces frown on workplace relationships. Good luck.

Mary in the tiny village of Onsted, Michigan

Answer 5

Be careful!! If he is hiding something from you, it can't be good!

"He says he erases the communication so I would not think its more than just a friendship."

That sounds fakey... If it doesn't sound reasonable, it is probably not true... Why would he tell you about the other women then? Is he having an affair with them then, if he isn't hiding that from you?

So to answer your question: I think the same thing you do. I think he is cheating on you, or at least wants to with this woman.

Answer 6

Why your husband's female co-workers call him after work?
Why your husband's female co-workers tell him their problems?
Why your husband listen to his female co-workers' problems?
Does he listen to your problems? Does he call you time to time from work to see what you are doing? And on top of that, he is hiding one particular female c-worker from you...hummmmm.... that's a sign. Either confront him or even show up at his work with lunch basket. Let the female co-workers know that you are alive and kicking. They should not be calling your husband or telling him their problems knowing that he is married. Co-worker is just co-worker. They, including your husband, should know the difference between co-worker and friend. Which means maintain business relationship at work and only at work.

Answer 7

it rather is a project! He might desire to be having an affair. Now, do no longer panic, yet there are some steps which you rather ought to take. you ought to definately attempt to open up a talk approximately this woman. If he's resistant, you ought to bypass to a pair's counselor. on the grounds which you be attentive to that he's open approximately all of his different co-workers, you are able to anticipate that there is something surprising between your husband, and this different woman. in keeping with risk he might desire to be indignant at her. i in my opinion doubt that, besides the fact that if it rather is a possibility. I pretty recommend which you get in touch with a therapist or a pair's counselor ASAP. sturdy evening and sturdy success. :)

Answer 8

He hides it because he knows it is wrong...

An emotional affair is when a person not only invests more of their emotional energy outside their marriage, but also receives emotional support and companionship from the new relationship.

In an emotional affair, a person feels closer to the other party and may experience increasing sexual tension.

If you believe that a person's emotional energy is limited, then if your spouse is sharing intimate thoughts and feelings with someone else, an emotional affair has developed.

Although cheaters are often guilt-free in an emotional affair because there is no sex involved, their spouses often view an emotional affair as damaging as a sexual affair.

Much of the pain and hurt from an emotional affair is due to the deception, lies, and feelings of being betrayed.

Answer 9

It's like they always say...

People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing.

Trust me, if your husband feels alright talking about the other females he works with, but not the certain one in question.. then there is something very wrong with that whole situation.

Don't jump to conclusions though... I think you two need to have some very serious talks

Take care!

Answer 10

Tell him to prove its just a friendship, and why are you letting ur husband have female friendships? I don't approve of my husband having anyone as a female friend, except his sisters and even then hes just got guy friends and that's all, I'm his best friend and he is my best friend and we don't let anyone else in. Your husband isn't a counselor to be listening to all of there problems, hes too kind, only men that want a girl listen to all of their problems and the ones that are already married(they listen to their wife's problems, that's it). Good luck

Answer 11

REALLY..... if he thinks that hiding what they are doing is going to CREATE or be deserved of TRUST, he is sniffing WAY too much glue!!! Is this guy usually this backwards in his reasoning?? Tell you what I would do - but I am rather bold and tenacious... I would meet up with this girl after work, introduce myself, and tell her you need her to explain why she needs to call or text YOUR husband.... she will get upset, then suggest that she find her OWN guy because you are not comfortable sharing yours. You don't have to be nasty, just assertive and very clear. She will cry to your hubby how mean you are - oh well!!!! Tell hubby that none of it would have happened if he had just not played games about her.