What's on YOUR menu???? =)?

Question

No -- not for dinner -- but for your phone!! =)

Now it's YOUR turn to create your very own version of the ever-ANNOYING automated phone menus..that drive you even more
crazy then being put on hold for heaven knows how long....with their EQUALLY annoying idea of music!!!!

Just fill in the following with the OPTIONS that you would MOST
love to have on YOUR phone for everyone that you never want-ed to hear from in the FIRST place --- This should keep them
busy.....right???

press 1 if ______

press 2 if _______

press 3 if ________

press 4 if ________

press 5 if _________

press 6 if __________

press 7 if ___________

press 8 if _____________

press 9 if _____________

press 0 if _____________

and for all other calls, please stay on the line and your call WILL be answered in the order that it was received. Thank you.

The Funniest and Most Original answers will get the 10 pts.

Hope you all have fun with this one!!! =)

Just to let you know....I've got 1 favourite
so far!!!! =)

Answer 1

I don't have a phone. I think i had games and stuff like that.

Answer 2

press 1 if you ask stupid questions.

press 2 if are an idiot.

press 3 if your hair is bigger then your head.

press 4 if you have no life.

press 5 if live with your mother.

press 6 if your a redneck.

press 7 if your a hillbilly.

press 8 if you are asking for Dr. Wierd.

press 9 if you want corn.

press 0 if you wish to speek to a real person.

Answer 3

Press 1 if you know your party's extension
Press 2 if you wish to leave Jakes a message
Press 3 if you realize this is all a trap
Press 4 to leave me you credit card number
Press 5 to enter your mother's maiden name
Press 6 To enter your social security number
Press 7 If you wish to leave me a donation
Press 8 Please ?
Press 9 If you want to ever get out of here.
Press 0 To start the cycle again.

Answer 4

press 1 if you are interested in going to the beach this saturday with "Freddie xoxo" and her friends.

press 2 if you would like to tell her off.

press 3 if you're an ex so she knows to ignore you.

press 4 if you're a bill collector

press 5 if you you need money

press 6 if you had too much fun last night and need bail

press 7 if you're a relative

press 8 if you wanted to get hammered this weekend

press 9 if you have a new job offer

press 0 to talk directly to the operator (me!)

Answer 5

well my lines would be directed for telemarketers. Hey, if they can dish it out, they should be able to take it, right? here is what I would tell them.

press 1 - to take YOU off my list
press 2 - to receive a call back at home during dinner
press 3 - to continue to receive call back 7 times per day
press 4 - to speak to a different person each time you call
press 5 - not to note in the computer your prior call
press 6 - for me to refinance your house
press 7 - to buy some ocean front property in Las Vegas
press 8 - A trip for 2 to Timbuk2 free of charge
Press 9 - a trip to my lawyer's office for a don't get out of jail free card

Answer 6

1."If You Wanna Be My Lover"(sung as Baby Spice)
2."If You Like Pina Coladas"
3.If you're waiting on the world to change....
4.multiple times if you have a pushing buttons fetish
5.if you'd like to make a request
6.if you'd like 6 of one-half a dozen of another
7.if you just realized you have the wrong number
8.para espanol marque ocho
9.if you like big butts and cannot lie
0.if you don't own a telephone

Answer 7

1 if you want to be on hold all day

2 if your brain went numb in the last 30 min of listing to this elevator music

3 if you craped your pants in the last 4 days

4 if you hate telamarketers

5 if your kids make you crazy

6 if you need herbs

7 if your grandparents smell like dead people

8if you hate prez bush

9if you love hillery clinton

Answer 8

Hang up now, and just e-mail me.
_
_
_

Answer 9

1:if you're bi-ocular
2:if you exhale 4 seconds after you inhale
3:if you shave your back
4:if you've considered shaving your back
5:if you've considered shaving your back and came close but no cigar
6:if you bite your toenails
7:if you shave your back and chew on your toenails a the same time
8:if you dreamt of me last night.......chewing my toenails
9:''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''.........shaving my back
10:''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''chewing and/or shaving....your back

Answer 10

I'LL EAT THE 10 POINTS