I don't get angry. Why does this make my wife's blood boil?

Question

I don't get very angry if at all. This angers my wife and she tends to feel like I don't love her. I love her, but I don't see any reason for getting angry just because she acts childish. I have tried a lot of different things. So far, nothing seems to be working. I think that if I ignore her temper tantrums then they will go away, like with kids. But the fact is, she's not a kid. I am not emotionless. But she feels that I am because I don't get angry when she is trying to spitefully upset me. I really consider her to be childish. She acknowledges her childishness and insists that because she's not a child she can do whatever she wants. This is ridiculous. For now, my plan is to try to stop calling her names (such as the ones I've just called her) and also continue to hold my ground when she throws tantrums. We'll see. But really, why get pissed just because your husband doesn’t? I've tried pretending to be angry, but this makes things worse. What would you do?

Answer 1

Coming from someone who has previously been in relationships like this, it can be VERY frustrating -- your lack of reaction sends the message that the relationship isn't really important, and that the problems aren't really worth your time/effort. It also, like in your case, can make her feel like you're being condescending, looking upon her like one would look at a child.
Whenever I was faced with this situation (from the female perspective) all I really wanted was my significant other to give me a hug, tell me he loved me, and tell me that he would be there for me and help me with whatever it is that I am frustrated about. Try this, and see what her response is. It's hard to stay mad at someone whom you know loves you unconditionally!
Good luck!