I love my wife very much but she isn't willing to experiment as much as I would like. I have tried to communicate this with her but it usally doesn't end up good. I don't want to cheat on her but this is making me unhappy as well.
2007-03-19 08:06:53 · 16 answers · asked by assbladuh 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would suggest couples counseling to help you both learn to communicate, compromise, and grow as a couple. You can't make her do things that she is uncomfortable with, yet she needs to be willing to fulfill your needs without compromising herself.
2007-03-19 08:12:05 · answer #1 · answered by kja63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't talk to her about it, just do it. There is nothing more sexy than a man that takes control. Let her know how much you want her by holding on to her really tight when you kiss her. Do things to her first like go down on her for a while and get her really ready! Then just go for what ever it is you want to try. Take a vacation or just get a hotel room and give her some champagne to loosen her up and then just get freaky! I have noticed that i am more freaky on vacation. Go buy her some trashy lingerie and ask her to put it on after a few drinks. Don't give her the chance to say no with out forcing her(you know, like physically) Then after you guys are done tell her how much you enjoyed it and you would like a little freak nasty in your life every now and then. If she doesn't go for it the first time then just tell her that you are unhappy and this has lead you to think about cheating on her. She may change her tune. This is no reason to cheat on her, as long as you are having sex then you have no reason to cheat. But there is no reason for her to be frigid. She may have a medical problem. Hope i helped
2007-03-19 15:29:57 · answer #2 · answered by micah z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it slow... take one of your "experiments" that are basically harmless and not too kinky. (like porno) Suggest it. If she goes for it, wait awhile and try something else, if she doesn't, ask about another one later on.
When you communicate these things with her remember that she has her own opinion on it and you can't get angry or insult her because of it, maybe you can ask her if she has any fantasies... Take it easy on her with any of your questions...
Cheating is an option, but just think of it this way:
Is cheating on your spouse worth her leaving you for? Are you willing to risk her finding out and you being left alone, or left with a woman who would willingly sleep with a married man? What if you get the other woman pregnant, how will you deal with it? What about STDs?
2007-03-19 15:21:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love your wife (you said you do), then be honest and talk to her.
Tell her in advance you want to set time apart and to have a loooong conversation about your sex life. This will give her time to "prepare".
Then, respect the day and have the heart-to-heart with her. Tell her you love her, and that you want this marriage to be happy for both of you....And that that is precisely WHY you want her to know you are not satisfied.
Be very careful with your words and tone of voice....Body language, too. If she feels threatened or stupid or blamed (which she will) then reassure her you want to make things better, not put her through a hard time.
Many people have traumas and have terrible hurts from childhood. Unfortunately, child abuse is common and who knows what her childhood was like. Upbringing and culture are terrible burdens where sex is concerned.
Good luck.
2007-03-23 12:14:11 · answer #4 · answered by Nena S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that cheating is not the answer. You need to sit her down and really talk with her. Ask her if there is anything that she would like to experiment with. I just kind of "showed" my guy what really gets me going. How does it not end up good? Find out if you have hurt her feelings. Maybe she feels that you are saying that you are either bored or not turned on by her. If all else fails see if she would consider counseling.
2007-03-19 15:12:35 · answer #5 · answered by Grace 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as your not trying to bring other people into the bedroom I am with you. Try buying her some of her own toys to try. Most women won't go back to just sex after they have tried some of the things on the market. If you just try new things during bedroom time instead of running everything past her first you might get further. If none of that works, give her some strawberry margaritas that will loosen her up to try new things.
2007-03-19 15:14:20 · answer #6 · answered by cutie322434 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you seriously need to sit down and talk to her about it and let her know how you are feeling (not everyone is a mind reader). Tell her that if things don't take a turn for the better, they could turn for the worse. Hopefully she will listen to you and hear what you are saying, if not then she cares more about herself then she does you!
Good LucK!
2007-03-19 15:24:09 · answer #7 · answered by sweet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is very frustrating. I'm in the same situation, but you have two choices, discuss it until you get an answer that both of you can live with. Or you can leave. Bottom line.
2007-03-19 15:13:56 · answer #8 · answered by kalischild57 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You better explain that you want more from her in the bedroom before your eyes wonder. When you two are in bed just try fliping her over to another position.
2007-03-19 15:12:45 · answer #9 · answered by Valentina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your options are work it out, shut up and take it, or divorce.
Go with the first one, please.
Don't communicate when you are upset. Do it at an unrelated time. Do it in a non-threatening way. Be patient. It will take time.
2007-03-19 15:11:09 · answer #10 · answered by Disco Stu 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋