Why do people defend spanking children with such conviction?

Question

I wonder. I believe if you can't get your point across without causing someone physical pain, then maybe you're the one with the problem.

Can people not see how confusing this is to kids and later when they are adults? Whats the difference between your parents spanking you and your priest touching you and your husband smacking you around?

Parents spank out of anger. I don't care what they say. I think parents defend it to cover their own guilty feelings about it and to cover up inadequate parenting.

BTW.......I am 36 and have 2 children. An 11 and a 2 year old. And gues what I haven't EVER hit either one of them.

Must of hit a sore spot, huh??

These pro spanking answers are nauseating, and I would like to make one more point. If spanking worked you really wouldn't ever have to spank your child more than once and we all know that's not the case.

To the adults that were spanked REPEATEDLY when they were kids, it sounds like it didn't really stop you from engaging in bad behavior it just punished you for it.
Maybe I'll try that the next time the teller at the bank is rude to me, just give her a little swat on the butt.

Answer 1

Yes, yes. As a victim of my mother's uncontrolled anger fits and rages, the physical violence showed towards me, her super controlling way, t he lies, I agree whole heatedly. But if one needs more proof, psychologist have long written about trauma suffered by children at the hands of abusive parents, relatives and clergy. Physical trauma can last a lifetime.

It is clearly child abuse, and parents should be prosecuted and be forced to do not only jail, but solitary conferment and hard labor. They are mental cases yet to be diagnosed, and should be punished severely when today, there are so many resources to get these fuffian bullies to stop the uncontrolled rages.

Answer 2

You obviously have gotten very lucky.

I do believe that there is a point at which spanking can become abusive. Many people use spanking as a cop out reaction. Occasionally, some kids, not all, just do not get the point that something they are doing is terribly wrong and/or dangerous. In those times, a spanking may be acceptable. Some kids learn these things easier than others. No two kids are the same.

Most kids I have known to have received occasional spankings growing up, including myself, where the spankings did not become abusive, turned out to be quite normal kids. I do not ever remember being confused about exactly what a spanking meant. Nor do I believe that my parents were bad parents. I always knew why I was receiving a spanking and I always understood what I had done wrong.

No, I think your statements are way to general and cannot be applied to every circumstance.

Answer 3

I wonder why people like you can be so intolerant towards other opinions. It's not that I would say everybody should spank their children. There are other ways that can work for some people with their children.
But on the other hand spanking as a discipline tool is a very traditional one that has proven to work many many times yet. In the past it was no question that every child was spanked by their parents.
Spanking isn't correct in every way - especially not when done in anger like you have mentioned or if parents are capricious. But you can't tell that everybody who uses spankings does it in this inadequate way. On the other hand you can't say that everybody who doesn't spank is a good parent!
According to my experience people who spank their children are much more tolerant towards other parenting methods than vice versa. So the real question should be "Why are people who don't spank their children so ignorant towards other working parenting styles?".

Answer 4

I think both sides get way too hysterical on the issue.

I am pro-spanking--but I recognize there are good parents who are doing a good job and do not spank, and there are pro-spanking parents who are doing a rotten job.

Neither side is a wacko position. Unil the no-spanking social experiment of the 1950's spanking was the norm--and generally accepted as working pretty well.

Although, I think a lot of it should be much more rigorously scrutinized there is research indicating that spanking does not work.

I favor spanking--but am not critical of those who think otherwise, especially when they have great kids. If they have some spoiled brats--then I think it is worth a try.

Answer 5

This is to funny. You must also be one of those tree hugging mothers that think there kids cant do no bad.. =) cute..

WELL you might not have a hard headed kid where talking and time out and taking things away dont work and the only thing that works is a quick tap on his As$.

If you raise your children with morals and a believe system it DOESNT matter if you spank them they will come out just fine and not go around "hitting there wifes" or "hitting or killing anyone"..

Regardless of what you say a child pushes the boundyres BIG time and sometimes they need to be put in there spot. I am a PARENT not my kids friend. I have never (dont care if you believe it or not) spanked my kids out of angry thats not the right way.

I was NEVER spanked as a kid and I will honestly say as I sit here I surely wish I was.. I pushed and got away with a lot knowing I will never get spanked for it..

I think you are the one that has guilty feelings about the "job" you do..... You must of had something happen to you in life where NOW you use it as a crutch.. And think everyone who spanks has problems, Your the one I see with the problem.

Good Day

Answer 6

First of all, you may change your mind when you have children. But as to your question, all parents do not spank their children out of anger. I'll agree that many do and those are the ones that probably have an anger management issue to start with. I will not deny that there are many abused children, wives, girl friends, and even some husbands and boy friends. However, as I grew up, my parents used to "spank" me every time messed up. Well, maybe not every time. I have to say that I had plenty of warnings. I always hated it when mom would come after me with a "switch", one of those little limbs from her flower bush. Ouch, that stung worse that dad's belt. But what I'm getting at is that there is a big difference in spanking a child and beating a child. I deserved every spanking I ever got and more, but I didn't grow up to be a murderer or some one who tortures animals or anything else. I turned out to be a sane, rational, caring person. So I believe our society has gone overboard with the "time outs" and such. Sure there are times when those measures are appropriate, but there are also times when a good spanking (not beating-my parents never even once struck me out of anger) is in order.

Answer 7

Simple. Children need discipline.

Do you HONESTLY think telling a kid to stare a corner is teaching them anything? No, it's not.........cause by the time they are in the corner, they have already forgotten what the problem was to begin with.

Spanking, however, ESPECIALLY right when the bad behavior occurs, is reinforcing the fact that the behavior is unacceptable. Also, actual spanking, compared to abuse, is NOT confusing to a child.......it has a beginning and an ending. To compare it with later behaviors such as fighting and hitting, or abuse to another, is like comparing apples and oranges.

Yes, parents spank out of anger. They also spank out of fear and love, but you didn't mention those. It's not inadequate parenting unless the end result is that the child does NOT learn to correct the behavior that got the unfavorable response.

Look at kids today, and compare it to kids 30 years ago. Kids back then got spanked, and are now mostly upstanding individuals. Kids today.......well, they will just call the police on a parent if they don't get what they want, won't they? They are far more apt to be in trouble as they age, simply from not learning that actions have consequences.....unpleasant ones.

I'm not defending it..........I'm proud to say that my kids know what a spanking is, and respect it. They also say yes mam, or no mam.......they respect themselves and others. Can you claim that for kids who don't get spanked?

Answer 8

as an only child I can say my mother hated me. She beat me every day probably cause I was a girl.She told me always that it made her sick to look at me. when those methods didn't work, she married me off when I was 14 to a man who wound up in prison for a substantial amount of time. Finally at 28 I was able to divorce, but not before having 2 beautiful children. today they are 14 & 9. I have never hit them as I know how it feels. they are A students & the most well behaved children you could ever meet.There are other ways to disipline without hitting.My kids are living proof.

Answer 9

There is a Big Difference between Mom / Dad paddling our clothed butt. and a Priest sticking his private part in it..
Theres a huge difference from a Parent using a spank to correct a childs disobey and a hubby who wishes to simply beat a woamns *** out of rage.


BUT - I agree that spanking can be wrong when not applied properly... even the Bible warns parent that if we dont set proper examples we will cause our children to die from within.or spoil as in "spoiled foods or spoiled milk".


Proverbs warns parents: If you spare ( not use ) the Rod ( a way to gentle guide by example - like a sheep herder guides his sheep with a rod ) You will spoil ( cause them to rot from within ) the Child

Answer 10

I never spanked in anger...I would send him to his room to wait for it...When I was calm I'd go and give him one spank...Not a spanking...The waiting was the hardest part for him and gave him time to think about what he did wrong...He maybe got 4 or 5 his whole life and he deserved them...There is nowhere near enough people who care enough about how their kids are going to turn out these days....Please if your kid needs a spank GIVE IT TO HIM! or it will bite you in the a$$ later.
Time outs are effective too and 9 times out of ten thats what I used...but there are times when a spank is justified and you are not living up to the responsibilites you have been entrusted with if you don't give it!