My boyfriend and I have been together for going on four years. He'll be 21 and I'll be 20, both in May. We've talked about marriage and will (hopefully!!) be getting engaged soon. Our plan has been to move into an apartment not far from where each of us live now, stay there for a while, then after we're married and save up enough money, build our own place on his property.
Now his mom has a new idea and he LOVES it. Instead, she wants us to take over his grandmother's house, which is only a mile away from his property. He loves it down there, its out in the boondocks (ie: the neighbors are at least a mile away...). We'd also be living and taking care of his grandma, who LOVES us. I like the idea, but its 45 minutes from my home, my current job, and my family.
He's upset that I don't really WANT to move there right away, I'd rather get an apartment first. I'm so lost, I don't know what to do. And I need to make the decision soon so "he knows what to do". Help!
2007-03-19 07:40:54 · 6 answers · asked by Megan Deann 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No, you aren't wrong for feeling the way that you do.. you're young, and you want to be ALONE .. you want to make your own nest, not move into someone else's.
I'm not saying "don't move in with grandmother", it may be a wise choice - just that your feelings are valid and I can understand why you'd feel that way. Good luck to you!
(Why aren't you engaged yet?)
2007-03-19 07:49:17 · answer #1 · answered by pepper 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like the fact that you are even considering this. Most people I know would be more than a little concern about moving so far out in the country and taking care of someone, especially at your age. Your boyfriend needs to understand that the decision to move is your not his. You need to do what's comfortable and reasonable for you. If moving so far out will inconvenience you, than don't. It's only going to make your relationship with him worse. If he can't understand that, than you need to have a talk with the guy. It sounds as if he want you to bend over backward for him and is not willing to hear you out. You should sit down and tell him of all your concerns and explain to him why you're not too excited about moving there.
2007-03-19 14:47:42 · answer #2 · answered by Kagetsuki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may not really want to have my opinion but since you asked here goes.
Why not marry now if he is the right one? If you are already in a relationship with benefits do not continue to provide the benefits without the final commitment.
Never,never start your life together living with,much less taking care of grandma.You are making the biggest mistake of your life if you do .
I can see that you already know you will not be happy there so draw the line right now.If he does not care for you more than to insist let it end now, or you will look back with regret.
2007-03-19 15:02:17 · answer #3 · answered by Cinna 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have a car, I would suggest moving in with him for right now. You need to live with him, before getting married. Four years together, is still not living together.
Try it out, and if it does not work, then you will know that you are probably not meant to be. Fourty five minutes is not that bad for work, if you two really want to spend your life together.
2007-03-23 12:33:36 · answer #4 · answered by kmf77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not obliged to move in, you are not married to him, you are free to make your own choices honey. If you don't feel like living with him now, and its inconvienient for you, you are not forced to. He'll just have to deal with it if he really loves you.
2007-03-19 14:43:18 · answer #5 · answered by Dusk 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to do what is best for you, and in your best interest, you can get your own apartment that is still close to your family and job without having to be uncomfortable with you rushed into anything without thinking it thoroughly.....
2007-03-19 14:59:13 · answer #6 · answered by MidnightSkies 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋