Mother who is concerned...?

Question

I seemed to have "stumbled" upon this by accident my daughter left it on her computer. I read this whole big long thing she wrote asking for advice. It appears she has been asking for help and been upset for awhile and she never came to me about this! Why is my daughter going to strangers for help instead of me? She has never once came to me telling me she had some problem with "prom" or any of that..I'm not sure if i should approach her about this situation now though because she will know i am snooping around. I am unsure what to do. But i am in shock that her so called friends would "dump her" the way they did. What is a mother to do now?

Answer 1

Trustfully, it's also normal for your daughter to not tell you stuff about her life, especially if she's already in high school. Maybe you might feel hurt and left out about it, but when I was in high school, and even now, the thought of actually telling my parent everything or even a few of my problem is unheard of. That doesn't make it okay, but it isn't abnormal. Sometime, going to someone who doesn't know you makes you feel like you're getting an unbias opinion. I mean, most of time, your family and friend might prefer to say something to make you feel better, afraid of hurting your feeling and what not.

About snooping around, parent do that and your daughter might be mad and upset about you doing it, but if you confront her and tell her of your concern, but make her realize that you're not trying to catch her doing something bad or that you're blaming her. A lot of time, when teenager hears that their parent are snooping around, it's usually because the parent want to find them doing something bad or to blame them for something.

Answer 2

Sometimes it is easier to seek advice from a stranger than to have someone so important (our mother) think less of us or be ashamed of us for any reason. Why not ask your daughter out on a "lunch date". Tell her you two don't get to talk around the house, and you can go to lunch and maybe shop a little. While out, keep the conversation light for awhile and then work around to the prom. You could start with a little antecdote of your own about your prom nervousness or something like that, or how your friends did something to you or your friend or your sister or someone like that. See if she opens up about the problems she's having. The other alternative is that since she left it on her screen she may have WANTED you to find it and approach her if she was too nervous to approach you about it. You can easily tell her "I was dusting in your room and the mouse moved and this letter came up, naturally being human I read it. If you want to talk about it I'm game, if not, no problem". Think very hard on what options are out there to alleviate her problem before you even broach it with her. Remember that high school is not forever and very few friendships survive after graduation. She will find new friends, etc. from jobs, college, and other things as she moves on. Good luck to you both and God Bless.

Answer 3

Do you feel that in someway you have neglected your responsibility to your daughter?Its normal for a child to seek advice from their peers .It maybe that she feels the need to solve her own problems without mommas' help.Or that the urgency of the dilemma is mild and by asking advice via the internet she can compare opinions from people going through her same situation and she is free to decide for herself which opinions to heed. .
A mother watching her child take their first steps find it difficult to stand idly by as the child struggles, but you must for the child to grow.Its a hard thing but she will take many first steps
You luckly found a window she left open use it as a passage in, but by no means would I reveal its existence for fear she would lock the window.
You know her well enough to ease your way into a conversation to verify all is well and stress that you are there for her
May I assume since you are asking us too that it is true that the acorn doesn't fall far from the tree.best wishes

Answer 4

SHe probably feels she can't trust you or that you are "too old" or something like that. As much as that may hurt, just remember, you are wise. Take her on outings and talk to her every day. Ask her how she is doing, and what's going on at school. This is the best thing you can do. The more you carry on conversations with her without getting judgmental, the more she will be able to trust you with her life and situations.

Answer 5

in Answers... she does not have to show her face, nor give her name nor her age.
so its easy for people to ask anything whithout being judged thats why your daughter asks here.
How can she open up with you?
you have to be a friend for your daughter, begin by you talking to her and go out with her, take her out to eat, that its one of the places where both of you have more time together.
waiting for the meal can take 20 min!
then become a friend for your daughter. my mom has done that many times even wiht my younger brother and sister that right now are teenagers. it helps. so try it.
good luck!

Answer 6

It is easier to open up to strangers in a Forum where one is anonymous, than to ones Parent. It is "Safer", because there is no unreasonable expectations, or judgments.

Let your Daughter know that you are there for her, and when she expresses herself, LISTEN ! Children need to have Adults who will Listen, not just tell them what They Think.

Answer 7

Take her to the mall and have some fun. Maybe she'll open up to you. If she feels like you're her friend, she'll feel more relaxed and can talk to you. Works with boys too.

Answer 8

GIRLS NIGHT OUT!!!!