I'm 33 weeks pregnant and I sorta feel like this pregnancy has been surreal for me. I'm aware that my body is changing, that I'm getting kicked left and right, that I cannot sleep at night, that my hands go numb from time to time.. but I'm afraid that when she comes, I wont feel like she's mine.
I know this will sound so very strange and morbid but, even though i've carried her and everything is ok, I never expected her to come. Does that make sense. I thought that something terrible would happen and I would lose her. Just a fear of mine I guess but I just cant picture myself holding a baby that is mine and I have a tendency to expect the worse so I wont get hurt. I've had a miscarriage before so maybe that's why. Is there a such thing as prepardom depression? I'm just not sure if these feelings are normal.
I should add that I'm terrified of labor and of hospitals ( from childhood) and I'm terrifed that she wont cry as soon as she comes out. Like you see on those baby shows.
2007-03-19
07:15:17
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17 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Pregnancy & Parenting
➔ Pregnancy
This is my first pregnancy.
2007-03-19
07:36:27 ·
update #1
I think that your fears are normal. I've got them myself and I talked with my mother and sister and they both had these worries. That helped me to feel better, but my hospital also has a program where I get to talk with a nurse once a month at least and during that time I can really talk and tell her my worries and hear from her that it's okay and normal and she can suggest things to help me and ideas from experience. That has really eased my fears. Good luck.
2007-03-19 07:26:39
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answer #1
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answered by First Time Momma 7/26/07 3
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Yeah I think it's perfectly normal to have fears right before the baby is about to be there. I have two kids , with my first son I remember being scared of so many what ifs. I was afraid I wouldn't know how to take care of a baby, even though I was always reading baby magazines. I was even afraid I wouldn't hear him cry at night. But I was wrong once that baby comes into this world and you look at that beautiful face you'll fell the blessing of motherhood. It's hard to explain the feeling, but it is overwhelming. Of course your baby already has a bond with you because he or she has been listening to your voice all this time and believe it or not your baby will sometimes be soothed just by the sound of your voice.I also had a miscarriage the first time I got pregnant which is very depressing, I guess I sort of set myself up for the worst too. But try not worry so much ,and try to get some rest cause your going to need it.Hope I could help.
2007-03-19 07:32:21
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answer #2
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answered by Hope M 1
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Wow! I am 37 weeks and have been feeling the same way. I too had a miscarriage it was 2 years ago. I dont think that we are being morbid. I have been dealing with it a little better latley i did tell my grandma that i can only imagine up to the labor part the pain and delivery but i cant ever see myself actually holding my little girl or bringing her home from the hospital (not that i dont want to because i cant wait to lay eyes on her for the first time) but like you i just cant picture it happening. all the way up to my 5 or 6 months i just knew that something would happen but thank god it didnt. I dont really have an answer to your question i just wanted you to know your not alone and wish you good luck. im sure we will both be fine and that a bond will happen the second your newborn is placed in your arms.
2007-03-19 07:26:27
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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This is normal, when your baby comes trust me as soon as you see him/her you will bond. Because youve had a miscarriage your scared that you wont have this baby which is also very normal. I know a girl that had dreams her baby come out looking like a barbie because she didnt gain very much weight. When your 8 months along you really need to take child birth classes. The more "terrified" you are the more painful labor is. The more you understand whats going on with your body whats normal in labor etc the less scared you are and the less pain you have. When your scared doing labor your musles tighten up which creates more pain for you. Your baby will be born fine, but telling you this wont help because youve lost a child. Only when the babys born crying will you believe your dream as come true. Good luck sweetie, get ready for the 2am, 4am feedings or being woke up just because he/she wants to see your face lol.
2007-03-19 07:24:35
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answer #4
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answered by letthepartybeginnow 3
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first things first...breath and relax. this is your first pregnancy huh sound like it. i had my son 8 months ago and i will tell ya what even when i brought my son home, i didnt have a bond and those baby shows the "oh i love him hes the best thing that ever happened" not alot of people feel that way. i thought i was going to misscarry i was hoping id just get to 30 weeks cause after 30 weeks they will survive. to this day i cant imagine my son being 1, 2 or 18.
this is to be expected and it will take some time. i was in labour and the last thing on my mind was im having a baby. labour isnt fun i had an epidural. im not going to lie it hurts. but after the epidural kicked in i was in control. and people say the epidural hurts and how big it is. i didnt see the needle and the pains i was having for contractions i never fewlt the pain of the needle.
all these feelings are normal and your hormones are nuts. there was times i didnt even want a baby. my son is 8 months and i want to be pregnant again, check my questions. and i would go through it all. before kids i didnt know how i was going to do it but now kids are my life i want 4 kids when before i wasnt even sure if i want one. when you see your child laugh and smile for those first times they will steal your heart away. i had it pretty bad with sickness through 9 months over 40 hours of false labour. its all worhth it sweety and youll do great congrats email me if you need a person/friend to talk to
2007-03-19 07:24:09
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answer #5
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answered by miraclebaby_2006 5
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I seriously think you should talk to someone about all these fears. I am not a doctor, I have been to plenty, but not qualified to give a medical term to you. I would say YES you do have depression, and with a miscarriage in your past, there are good reasons for you to feel this way. I would talk to someone before you have your baby, you don't want your depression to cause post pardom, your emotionally hurting right now, obviously speaking to a professional couldn't hurt your situation. I am sure that your baby will be just fine, you just have some serious anxiety about your labor and delivery, with good cause! Labor is a frighting experience, but after its over you have such a beautiful little bundle to snuggle with. I wish you lots of luck with your new baby, try to work some of this out before he/she is born, your life will be easier for it.
2007-03-19 07:25:13
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answer #6
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answered by chefck26 4
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It is TOTALLY normal to not feel immediatley in love with your child after birth. You will be tired and worn out from the delivery (whether is be natural or c section). The bond will come in time.
Yes there is such thing as pregnancy depression. It is normal not to feel attached right away to your unborn, especially if you miscarried in the past. Fears and uncertainty arise in your mind. But i will say if you feel like hurting yourself or you cannot function normally, please talk to a doctor who may help you through these feelings.
Sometimes babies dont cry right away. Their lungs have amniotic fluid in them and the doctors have to suction them out. Depending on what kind or pain managment you had during your labour, the baby may be lazy and a little dozy itself. Not to worry though. Once the baby cries it is one of the most beautiful sounds in the world. Although some late nights you wish they came with a mute button haha.
You will be a fine mother. Dont expect so much of yourself. Your not going to be super mom. No woman is!!! Dont be afraid to ask for help where and when you need it. And if you are offered help, drop the ego and take it graciously. You will be fine hun. I have faith. If you need someone to talk to you can email me!!!
2007-03-19 07:26:38
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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I too am pregnant, but with my fourth child..The stress of pregnancy can easily make it difficult to see what the end result will be like..Its the one time in your life that things are completely out of your control, and for most of us, that is any uncomfortable feeling. The fear of the unknown. Let me reassure you that everything will be okay..You and baby will bond, and its an unbelievable experience. A large percent of pregnant people are depressed, and for good reason. Your body is under a lot of different stresses. Hang in there. Your almost there!! (I still have 30 more weeks to go!!!)
2007-03-19 07:43:05
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answer #8
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answered by Ali2828 1
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All this seems pretty normal to me and that coming from the mother of three. As soon as you have your baby the bond will be there. I know you're worried about labor and the baby but believe me everything is going to be fine. Just hang in there. Oh your body is equipped to handle child birth and they can give you something for the pain. I'm sure you'll do just fine. Good luck!
2007-03-19 07:23:02
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answer #9
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answered by Anonymous
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As soon as that baby is cleaned of mucus, cries and is handed to you, she's yours and you'll feel it! Relax. Don't cause yourself any extra stress right now. I know it might be difficult if you've had a miscarriage before. Let your doctor know how you feel and what your concerns are. They can set up a nurse visit or counseling for before the birth for anxiety and after the birth, if you feel then, that you might have postpartum depression.
2007-03-19 07:25:27
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answer #10
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answered by angelpoet04 4
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