Was I wrong to do this?

Question

An ex and I ended things very badly. We we were very close. it was special. However, something happened and he became very cold and hrtful to me. Much was involved including a child he had with someone else, before we met. I helped him thru much of this. Anyhow, we exchanged hurtful words and have not spoken in over a month or so. I didn't expect him to call me, although I hoped he would. But everyday, it ate at me, the things I said to him and the way I behaved. Last night, I called him and I got his voice mail. I left him a message & told him that I was sorry, and that no matter what, as a friend, I only wanted him to be happy & I should have backed away, knowing a child was involved.I will admit he was wrong about much, but there was much confusion involved.I dont know what he thinks, but I feel a sense of relief.Was I stupid?Should I not have called?I also said that I don't expect to hear from him and its ok.And I think I will be, if I never hear from him again.I am human after all

My intention were to never have him back, although our relationship was important to me, I never wanted tolose him completely out of my life. I didn;t beg him or ask him to come back. What I stated is what I said.

Answer 1

I did something very similar after a breakup. It wasn't stupid if it helped you get closure or say those things you know you needed to say. Just remember WHY you did it...for YOU, not to re-start communication, and not to get him back. So don't expect a response, and try to just let it go. Whatever is meant to happen with him WILL happen no matter what you do (or don't do). Good luck!

Answer 2

dont even worry about it now. The ball is in his court. You feel better for getting an apology out for the things you said and you are a big person for doing so. If he calls then fine, if not then fine as well. You did what a mature person would do.

Answer 3

You did the right thing. You cleared the air, got some closure and left the door open for him to call. Let him make the next move.

Answer 4

What you did was fine. You thanked him for giving (get the word forgive there) you the time you shared together. You should feel good about what you said. The ball is in his court, if he's a decent enough man, he will return it. If it wasn't meant to be, then it wasn't meant to be. Cherish the good memories.

Answer 5

I think that every relationship is on the edge of breaking point.Don't think that people next door are very happy and their relationships are problem free.You sound to be a kind and vulnerable lady.Take as much burden as you can bear and don't blame yourself for it when things go wrong.You did the right thing.it was bold.

Answer 6

It is important you called. Things like that eat at a person. You need to get all things off of the table (so to speak) once a realationship is done.

Answer 7

You did the right thing! If your concience was giving you a hard time, and you followed your conceince, then you can rest at peace and don't hink about it anymore!

Answer 8

I think it was ok but I feel like you want him back. Keep true to your word as hard as this may be. You have to move on and so does he. He may sence that you are caving in and want him back.

Answer 9

sounds to me like you needed closure which is totally normal. you werer not wrong to do this just keep it at the one message, let the past remain in the past

Answer 10

no, what you did was fine. I know how you are feeling...my friend came to me with the EXACT same problem. sooo...you need to do what your heart feels is right...and if you had to do it to be happy...then you did the right thing.