Wife's problem........?

Question

I have a medical problem which has remdered me impotient.
This has wrecked our sex life. Yes there are other things we can do to assist our sex life along, but the passion we once had is minimal now.
I have encouraged her to consider taking a lover or trying a threesome with another guy so she can enjoy some hot passion and multi orgasms again. BUT she is reluctant and says she is too shy to try it.
We are still in love but I would love to see her have those earth shaking orgasms we used to enjoy even if another guy has to give them to her and I can not.
What do other wives do in this case?
Have any husbands encouraged their wives to take a lover?
Do the wives ejoy it once they start doing it?
Has it affected their marriage?

Answer 1

Wow, that is not an easy situation to be in. I would think you wife is right...now you are open minded and willing as you love her a lot, but when you see her in the arms of another guy and she likes it and you can't do it for her anymore, your acceptance will not be as easy...

I think you should talk to her and let her know you love; sex toys are still there and if you are good with using them, she will be just as happy...as you are not looking at her love in a sexual point of view alone...you are telling her you know she loves you and you the feel the same,....

Answer 2

It will affect your marriage and it will affect your wife and you in many different areas. She will feel guilty and drive you and her further apart. You will feel left out and alone in the end. Don't do it that way. If you want her to have all that and then some... find another way. There are plenty of toys out there. As far as the passion goes.........it has nothing to do with you being impotient. That is the relationship. Spend more quality time together and talk about your feeling. Go back to when you was dating and have some fun. You two have a great life together.What do you think you have to depend on when you turn 80 or so and can't have sex anymore. You didn't marry her just for the sex and I'm sure she didn't marry you just for the sex. For better or worse........

Answer 3

It will kill your marriage. Why would you even suggest such a thing. I know the reason you gave but - why would you suggest such a thing. You say you have a medical problem. Well, get medical help for the impotence side of it.
Don't expect your family doctor to fix it.
Get some expert help.
Stop acting like your wife's life is over. All you have to do is read all the gay and lesbian questions that pop up here in Answers - those people do nothing but masturbate each other all their lives and act like they can't even imagine using the real equipment - it's all fake and jerry-rigged sex with toys and substitutes, etc.
She can have a satisfying life with you without your dragging in other people. That is, unless the point of your question is that you would be titillated by that kind of action and looking for everyone to support you in your selfless endeavor here.
Knock it off. Hell, yes, it will affect your marriage - for the worse - and it will make your wife wonder what is going on in your head that you orchestrated all this sex play. She won't think it is for love that you are doing it. She'll eventually look to leave the marriage because you just creep her out.

Answer 4

Other wives who are in your situation stick it out with their husbands. It's for better or worse. There has never been an exception for not being able to perform sexually. If sex is the base of your marriage, then I would have to say divorce is just around the corner. If your marriage is based on something much deeper than that, I would suggest you leave the subject alone and allow your wife to continue being just that. Your wife. Thank you.

Answer 5

That is a sad situation for both partners, and it is awfully thoughtful of you to think of your wife's feelings. I know two people that I loved dearly that were in that situation, the man was in an industrial accident, and due to meds he could not perform. He went to the doctor to get a penal implant to please his wife, and she would not sign the permission form. He was in his 50s and she in her 40s. She said for better or worse means standing by your partner no matter what, she said he could have been paralyzed, or had other illness, such as a stroke, this was the hand that was dealt to them. She said it was very difficult and she would please her self when she was alone, but she never stopped the romance and sensuality between them. She loved him in new ways without the sex. I admire your desire to make your wife happy, best wishes, talking to counselor might help, and what goes on between you two should be private, so if she does have a lover if she is discreet, that is no ones business. Best wishes, this is sad question,. as it could happen to any couple.

Answer 6

God gave us fingers for a reason. Inviting other people into a marriage is just opening the door to the courtroom for divorce. The majority of women have to have an attachment on some kind of emotional level. Are u willing to risk losing her forever? Trust me,,when you get to be my age I would rather have my husbands love and respect then sex from strangers.

Answer 7

When you play with fire you get burned! There are so many other ways to give your wife orgasms that have nothing to do with another man. Get a book with lots of options. What will you do if she falls for the guys shaking her world while you can't? How will you feel when she says she's headed out to meet her "guy friend" because she's feeling frisky? I wouldn't attempt this for a million bucks. What ever happened to in sickness and in health? Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 8

Men do not think like woman. If the situation was reversed you would go for the idea of another woman. Most woman with morals would be insulted by what you said although you
think it's what she wants. If she is not complaining then let it go. I do not think bringing another guy into the bedroom is going to help your marriage as woman put feelings into sex and you might not want to find out later she is leaving you for him.

Answer 9

Maybe your wife would be more comfortable if you started using toys. Introducing a lover sounds daunting if all she can think about is you. She loves YOU and if you're pleasuring her and getting pleasure from that, then you will see those earth shaking orgasms.
She's very lucky to have a hubby who loves her so much

Answer 10

The problem is your feelings of failure! You are so wrong! Your wife married you because she loved you for better or worse. Remember! Real love is priceless. Don't ever confuse it with sex. She can pleasure herself. Keep doing whatever you can and know that its your feelings of wanting to please her that matter. Definitely keep others out of your sex life and your vows sacred. You and your wife are so blessed to have so much- each other!!!! Check out the Bible and a good church near you to realize how lucky you really are. Also Dr. Laura every weekday on the radio 640AM. God Bless You Both!!