As we walked toward the house after a long day yesterday, my wife asked me to bring her stuff from the car. I grabbed several bags from the trunk and started to clear out the back seat. I noticed that her work clothes were in the back seat. Last time I brought her hat and apron in, she yelled at me. So ever since, I have left them in the car. So, I left them there. Recently, we have been arguing over how it seems that I don't care about her. I have contended that I care for her and am simply taking a stand against her manipulative behavior. I am nice when she's nice. But when I refuse to give in to her temper tantrums, she calls me hateful, mean, and heartless. This morning, my day off, after lots of kissyness, as I lay under the blankets comfy and nude, she got ready for work. She asked if I brought in her shirt and pants, "Oops! I'm sorry. I didn't realize," I explained. Temper tantrum: "Please go get them!" she said. She was clothed and up. I was naked and down. I refused. Fight!
2007-03-19 06:15:31 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She whined. I said, "Dont' be a brat." She whined. I shouted. She cried. I told her not to be silly. She made herself late for work. She ended up getting the clothes herself. We fought some more.
2007-03-19 06:17:17 · update #1
So you said you would do something, didn't do it, didn't fix it when you realized you hadn't done what you'd told her you'd do - and then get insulting to her by calling it a "temper tantrum" for her to say "Please go get them."
Gee, can't imagine why that fight escalated...
2007-03-19 06:21:42 · answer #1 · answered by romipenne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a woman and i say don't give in...your wife is being a brat and she needs to not only realize she has a good man but learn how to appreciate you...your damn right if your in the bed and she's up and clothed she can go to the car and get her own uniform...Sorry but i have a good man and i know how to treat him.. doesn't mean that we always agree and never argue but when he goes out of his way to make an effort i take notice and i realize when not to take advantage of his kindness and vise versa...sorry from a womans point of view she's a loser and has a lot of growning up to do!
2007-03-19 07:23:59 · answer #2 · answered by weary minded 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you both over reacted and are both stubborn. Make it right and tell her that your sorry about the fight and leave it at that.
Perhaps next time you should at least question her about things, like the work clothes, regardless of what was done before.
I don't think that she should be angry at your refusal to get her clothes (her mistake not yours) but I guess she was seeking your assistance and not attitude. If you wanted to avoid a fight, this was not the way to start the day off.
2007-03-19 06:30:07 · answer #3 · answered by trojan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me it sounds as if you both are being very childish. She asked you to get the clothes out of the car while she was dressed (that's how she is being childish) you refused by calling her names and belittling her (that's how you are childish). Was she rushing around trying to get ready for work? If this was the case maybe her getting the clothes would delay her of getting to work on time. How was she already clothed if her work clothes were in the car? You should have straight out said, "last time I brought your clothes in you yelled at me, so I remembered that and did not bring them in". It sounds like you both have very bad communcation.
2007-03-19 06:37:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Well, I applaud your efforts for standing up to her! She is being manipulative and trying to control everything by telling you want to do. I'm in a situation like this with a best friend of mine for years, I'm realizng how selfish she is and don't know what to do. I'd say to continue putting your foot down, and then start explaining that her tune needs to change and why; and give examples. She'll either stop kicking and screaming and get over it (or not). Keep me posted!
2007-03-19 06:24:42 · answer #5 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think both of you could have done something to avoid this. Sure, she may have been overreacting and could have easily gotten them herself if you were still in bed. However, you still should have brought them in. She asked you to bring in her things, not just some of her things. If you weren't sure, you could have asked her to clarify. It's a two-street, dude. You could have done something more and so could she.
Do you guys even like each other? It doesn't sound like it. In my honest opinion, you're both blowing this way out of proportion. Chalk it up to a misunderstanding and move on. Learn from your mistakes and actually communicate instead of assuming things. You know what assuming does...
2007-03-19 06:35:05 · answer #6 · answered by Morgan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!!
HOORAY !!! Right on ! Dont trip over the fight, she's just in a "mood" that makes her ask /expect u to get up get her stuff
Women are moody and they start things just to see how we hold our ground. they want to know that we are not wimps' who back-down and allow her to control us.
Warning:
The day you let a woman control/ boss you-- she will leave ! A Woman dont want a man who is a pushover or let her control everything /make all decisions etc,
they start a fight to measure our ability to stand-up for ourself.
This helps women learn how strong her man is emotionally.
She knows if you stand-up for yourself - you will stand up for her too.
Remember they sometimes "think " opposite of us.
Great Job!!!!!, I predict she'll apologize when she returns
2007-03-19 06:31:32 · answer #7 · answered by billybadazz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her if it is your responsibility to look after her as you would a child. When she was walking in she could have grabbed them, and anyway what does she only have one pair of pants and one shirt to work in? Tell her she needs to grow up a bit. The fighting isnt good for either of you
2007-03-19 06:24:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if the person to answered your question would have read it thouroughly they would have understood that no she did not say get the work clothes out. she asked for the stuff...being that before when he did bring her work clothes in she yelled at him and caused a fight so I agree with you why would you get her work clothes.
She was already dressed so what would it have been for her to get them ecspecially since you werent.
She wanted you to get up and get clothed and bring her clothes in for the simple fact to be in control.
Normally I don't agree with men haha but this one it seems like your wife needs to be in control all the time and if she doesn't like the way its turning out she fights and cries until you give it.
Stand your ground but be sympathetic sometimes...us women tend to be overly emotional.
2007-03-19 06:26:13 · answer #9 · answered by colie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
areguments are never about what they seem go to dinner in a crowded restaurant discuss all of ur emotions feelings that u are having openly honestly it could b something bothering her at work worry bout the kids as u discuss these emotions touch each other look into each others eyes rediscover each other comtinue the conversation all the way home best advice never let the sun go down onur anger never go to bed mad but resolve it then go to bed to a new understanding of each other
2007-03-19 06:22:39 · answer #10 · answered by mmbmw2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously there are some things that just aren't worth the fight. Shut your mouth and get her gear for her.
Personally I would have brought it in for her in the first place.
If she tells you not to bring it in then tell her that when she asked if you brought it in.
2007-03-19 06:24:45 · answer #11 · answered by kyrie_eleison_gr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋