I have heard rumors that marriage isn't all that it's cracked up to be after you get married. Like, you can't go anywhere without the other one making a big deal out of it, or the man fusses and curses at you for no apparent reason. Things of that nature! I was wondering was all that true...because I darn sure don't think so! Plus, the person who told me this is kinda a wet blanket...they love to give out negativity!!
2007-03-19 05:59:32 · 10 answers · asked by N0+ 3@$!Ly &R0]{3n 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honest, straight truth from someone married almost 37 yrs:
First of all, what's important is the the RELATIONSHIP meets certain criteria first, before anyone considers marriage. Marriage is but a set of small details and legal benefits. What matters is the state of the RELATIONSHIP. Those criteria are:
1) A long list of common interests; things you both enjoy doing TOGETHER as opposed to separate interests and separate groups of friends.
2) A lot of tolerance for each other's differences. As much as you share in common, you're still going to rub one another wrong from time to time. Be mature and deal with it. Separate the small $h!t from the serious stuff.
3) A sense of compromise; so that you can work out your problems with a minimum of emotional trauma. It's marital negotiation.
4) A sense of sympathy and forgiveness. You're both going to screw up on occasion. You need to be able to forgive, forget, and move on with the relationship.
Now, as regards personal space and freedom, a mature, well-balanced relationship allows for a certain measure of this. Marriage is something people do because they enjoy one another's company, but that doesn't mean it's supposed to be a form of imprisonment, and there's no reason for anyone to feel that it is.
Both people are entitled to some privacy, to be used as they see fit, short of doing something dishonest. It also doesn't mean that you just hit the door without telling your loved one where you're going and when you expect to return. That is just basic common courtesy.
My wife and I love to be together whenever we can, even if we're not "doing" anything, but we also enjoy frequent periods of privacy, whether its for napping, walking, reading, self-pleasure, or whatever.
2007-03-19 13:54:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is like a job, you have to continue to work on it or things will get bad and come to an end. Its what you make it to be. And as far as leaving and the spouse having a problem with it. Its not that, you just have to remember that your not living alone anymore and you have to show some respect when leaving the house like mentioning where your going, instead of just leaving and not saying anything. And come home at a respectful time so he will not believe your cheating on him. And remember its a thin line between love and hate.
2007-03-19 13:23:18 · answer #2 · answered by My two cents 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's my best description of marriage:
Marriage is BOTH a religious AND legal avow of a man and woman to share a life together--with NO other intimate partners allowed. Polygamy is a no-no--and the one caught in such can be punitively penalized in a legal courtroom--not by inprisonment--but by DIVORCE, which currently in USA--favors women (espicially if kids are involved) and disfavors men (espicially if kids are involved).
As for the everyday political dynamics existant between a legally married couple; that rests individually between them--there is NO common examples to really go by.
It's easy to negatively argue marriage is an un-realistic concept that carries leagal ensarements, but it all comes down to one's personal belief that marriage is what one makes of it: nothing more.
2007-03-19 13:25:23 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. Wizard 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is wonderful if you are married to the right person, if you are married to the wrong person for you, it can be a living hell, so be wise and cautious in your selection, do it for all the right reasons, and it will be the most greatest thing. I finally married the right person for me, it has been pure heaven, and he feels the same way, as I am his girl, the one that he was suppose to have always been with, so believe in fate and love and it will happen, and yes it was love at first site for me, that kind of thing does happen, be patient. Ignore your friend's negativity she must be miserable as she did not marry the right person for her.
2007-03-19 13:13:11 · answer #4 · answered by Maria A. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married for 20 years and never had a problem, i guess it's what you make out of a marriage, if your negative about the relationship, it will be negative, you don't have to be joined at the hip because everybody needs space,
2007-03-19 13:07:14 · answer #5 · answered by sonya h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well..every relationship has it's ups and downs but if you have a happily married life then marry the person who loves you, respects you, cherishes you, is compatible to you and you would need to be the same with him. I've had more independence ever since i've been married.
2007-03-19 15:33:18 · answer #6 · answered by Luv Peace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is what you make of it: it is 100% - 100% because both of you have to be committed to the marriage or it won't last.
The lust will fade but the traits that drew you to someone will last and you need to see them clearly. My guess is that if someone is unhappy then more talk is needed to clear the air.
2007-03-19 13:08:17 · answer #7 · answered by celtic_hd_heritage 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marry the right person and marriage is great..
2007-03-19 13:04:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that person just had a bad experience. What you put into marriage is what you'll get outta it.
2007-03-19 13:06:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a relationship killer!!! This is my opinion anyway.
2007-03-19 13:49:46 · answer #10 · answered by memyslf&I 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋