is it considered cheating fantasizing about someone else?

Question

cant keep someone of my mind and he keeps telling me the same

Answer 1

in theory there's nothing wrong with a little fantasy as long as you keep it to yourself, in your own head. we all do it, whether it be over someone famous, the person you saw in the supermarket, a person at work, whomever.

it sounds as though you've gone beyond that boundary, and discussed your attraction/fantasy with the person involved. this is more than innocent fantasizing, you're now into the realms of flirting, and if the feelings are reciprocated you're heading down a dangerous road as it can be all too easy to find things becoming physical.

flirting, in and of itself, isn't cheating as such ... and many people have a flirtatious nature that's just part of who they are, myself included ... however when it becomes more than just casual flirting, and closer to "you're hot, i think about what i'd like to do to you", that's not innocent or casual.

flirting of that nature, whilst not 'cheating', is certainly disloyal and that can be almost as bad as infidelity.

you know, you can be arrested and sent to prison just for conspiring to kill someone, you don't actually have to do it ... and just because you don't sleep with your crush doesn't mean what you're doing is "OK".

you're definitely on shaky ground here, and can't absolve your guilt with semantics ... being disloyal in a relationship is 'cheating' in way, as you're betraying the trust.

Answer 2

Fantasizing by itself is not cheating.

If you're discussing these fantasies with the other person...well, I would consider that cheating if it were done in a chat room. So I would think having conversations of that nature face-to-face would certainly be. That sounds like an emotional affair to me.

Quite simple test - would you feel comfortable telling your spouse what you said to this other person? If so, then now's the time. If not - then you know what you're doing is wrong. Who cares how you label it? Stop doing it.

Answer 3

If you just have a fleeting thought now and then, keeping it totally to yourself, afterwards admitting to yourself that it would be wrong if you acted on it, and not really entertaining those thoughts or nurturing them, then IMO you really haven't done anything wrong. We all have thoughts like that pop into our heads now and then. Where it's wrong, and if you're a Christian, where sin occurs, is if you persist and focus those until you are doing it a lot, leading to actually lusting after someone. It sounds like you've gone to that level and have actually gone as far as talking to the other person about it, so in that case I'd have to say yes, you are cheating.

Answer 4

Fantasizing is not cheating. Going any further is. Fantasizing can actually spice things up a bit-with your partner!

Answer 5

Fantasies and role playing can be fun. What are yo worried about, afraid Brad Pitt will show up and then you'll really have to cheat?

Answer 6

No, fantasizing isn't cheating..
But if you are married you can't be having
a relationship with a man who tells you he
fantasizes about you also..
Stop seeing or talking to him..
You are about to cross the line..

Answer 7

Everyone even happily married people fantasize.
There is nothing wrong with a good imagination as long as you don't go looking for that fantasy.

Answer 8

There are fantasies/dreams that just happen. That is part of human nature. They are not cheating.

There are fantasies that are created by concious thought. If you can't tell you spouse, then it is cheating.

Answer 9

Fantasies are very healthy, Its like window shopping you know you can't buy it but its fun to imagine what it would look like on you.

Answer 10

As long as you don't act on anything and aren't having an "emotional affair"...then it's not cheating.