How should act toward my wife the brat?

Question

I know how to deal with brat kids: if they throw temper tantrums, don't give in. Show them and tell them you love them, hang with them, play with them, stand against their tricks. Show them you're serious: seriously cut all benefits if they act a fool; seriously desire to give them your all. This is what my parents did. And they even spanked me! But I never felt resentful or hateful toward them; because they made it clear that they loved me.
My wife throws temper tantrums, cries, whines, shouts, gets physical, etcetera, a lot like a brat kid, when she doesn't get her way with me. We are newly married (9 months now) and she has gotten away with it up until recently. Like her family, I used to concede. I have now told her that I won't put up with it any more. Now she claims that I hate her; to hate me; that I'm mean and heartless; that I should change, not her; that I should apologize for being mean; etc. Kids see adults' stance as mean. She's not a kid: she can divorce me. Any advice?

Answer 1

She needs to grow up or she is going to end up by her self then she wont have any one to wine to. If the two of you have children together they are going to see how she acts and try to be spoiled and annoying as well. That pushes back the good thing that you are trying to teach them they get in a mind set of i can do, have, say, etc. what ever i want and your not going to tell my nothing and that is not what you want from kids. your wife probably had no discipline then and now is has no want to change. A little advice for her you can't always get your way. If you want to stay married it takes work and you have to be willing to do that. Sit down and talk about your issues compromise if needed. I have a husband to and we have been together for eight years now and it isn't always easy but if you don't try you will never know if you can improve and make things better for the both of you. Good luck

Answer 2

I would say that you are doing the right thing by not putting up with your wife's tantrums. The best thing to do is to ignore them and not give them any credence. I would think that the two of you might benefit from some couple's counseling, if that's possible. It seems that the tantrums stem from some source on her side - maybe she is not feeling like she gets enough attention from you, or she is unhappy with some other things in her life that manifest as tantrums. The important thing is to get to the source of why she throws these fits and try to correct that so the fits stop. In the meantime, stay strong and don't let her derail you and provoke you into acting like a kid!

Answer 3

wow... I don't know how you put up with that....
My adivce to you would be whatever you do, don't give in to her. She sounds really spoiled,... try sitting her down, explaining how frustrating and etc this is... If that doesnt work, i say give her a dose of her own medicine.
Ask for something you know she wont give, then act a fool. Flip out on her, scream, complain, ... dont get physical though of course she would automatically think you are being "abusive." (however it sounds like shes the one that is abusive =| ).
Maybe if you hide a video camera and record how stupid she looks when she acts like that, and then at a later time play it back... This should get her attention lol.
Maybe one of these methods, or something similar, will knock some sense into her, and hopefully she'll see how DUMB she is being.
Good luck!! i hope things work out 4 u

Answer 4

You had to have known this attitude before you got married to her. Why did you marry that? There is nothing you can do about her temper tantrums but just ignore them. When it gets to a point that you cant deal with it anymore, leave and hang out with friends till you cool off. Return home and just go to bed. If she wants to file for a divorce, let her. Hopefully she will learn what her actions get her and stop this behavior on her own.

Answer 5

Don't have kids til you get these issues solved.

Perhaps marital counseling would be a good idea. What you're saying in essense is that she's acting out for attention and being a brat. She's telling you you're heartless. The impression I get is a guy who feels manipulated and controlled and is therefore putting up a wall, and a woman who feels unloved and has learned to express herself through emotional outbursts. That's a downward spiral - each of your natural responses is going to make the other one's natural response grow worse, amplify. Counseling might help both of you learn more effective ways of communicating with each other and adjusting to each other's needs.

Answer 6

You both need to grow up and start acting like married adults. I'm going to take a wild guess and say that she has always been like this, but NOW it bothers you because you're living together. Tough. Deal with it. You should have thought about it before you MARRIED her. Now, all you can do is try to communicate. It's a two-way street. My guess is she isn't the one causing all the problems. I'd be pissed off too if my guy compared me to a bratty kid and used that kind of language to describe me. Once again, grow up.

Answer 7

please don't listen to people that tell you to get a divorce or leave her. people on here are sooooo quick to give that advice out, but when it comes to their lives, it's a different story
it sounds like your wife is just spoiled and used to getting her way. Coming from a family that spoiled me as a child, I can relate to the actions that you just listed about her behavior. The best thing to do is sit down and talk to her about your feelings. Tell her that she needs to make a change so that you two can keep the marriage strong as ever. If she doesn't comply, I would suggest counseling. She might comply hearing the same words from a specialiist

Answer 8

Don't give in to her. If she get's what she wants then SHE will be in control of your relationship, and marriages should be 50/50. Tell her that her attitude is causing you to act differently and seem like you hate her... and also that the opposite of love is indifference, so even if you do hate her then you still care and have feelings about her. Try and convince her that she has anger and maturity issues and she needs to see a counselor... if not I hope you signed a pre-nup. Good Luck.

Answer 9

face it ur married to a spoiled brat and u have to stand up to it she sounds vindictive so this should tell u how the divorce will go this is abuse emotional mental and even physical its against the law women even abuse men and thank goodness the men do not resort to the battering stage do u seeurself in this situation with this woman the rest of ur life take a stand now tell her u will not tolorate it she can get counseling to control her anger u will attend too or this marriage is doomed

Answer 10

Did this "bratty" behavior just come on overnight? If so, you need to get her to a doctor for a complete neurological exam.

If she's always been this way, then you knew it when you married her and now you are stuck! The best you can hope for is that she will agree to therapy to learn how to control her emotions and perhaps that she will agree to medication if needed. You might also consider marriage counseling.