Sex Before Marriage?

Question

Teens today think that sex before marriage is the coolest thing ever. They are obsessed with sex. Half the time, I think it's the only thing they think about. My personal opinion: Wait until you are married! Once you start having sex, a physical bond starts with that person. So, even if you don't want to stay with them, you continue to because the sex is good, even if that person starts to become abusive (and I don't just mean physically because you can be abused mentally/ psychologically too). Their are other factors too, and you would be surprised how many people are not aware or choose to ignore them. STDs, pregnancy, parenthood (for both genders), etc. So, why have sex? I ask for your opinion. Should people have sex before marriage? Why? What other factors play a role? Why do teens want to have sex so much? Shouldn't something that 'special' be saved for someone so 'special' that you decided to live your life with them in marriage?

Answer 1

I second that! I made bad choices in my early twenties and had more than a few boyfriend/sexual encounters.

I can't tell you how those moments that seemed like nothing at the time, now manage somehow to rear their ugly head and haunt me today. I regret so much that I did not wait.

I feel as though each one of the men I slept with took a part of me and that I am chopped up in bits, flung all over the earth, ---God knows where.

Because of the choices I made in the past, it is really difficult to feel like a whole human being today. But "God is faithful to restore the years the locust have eaten."

I applaud you for determining to wait. May God grant you the strength and courage to flee temptation if it should come knocking.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS:
Vampireslayer (Below) makes reference to God's design for sex, yet her opinion is found nowhere in Scripture. Rather, God warns about sex outside of marriage as being destructive and He calls fornication (Sex outside of marriage) a sin.

So, though her logic may sound reasonable to herself, in order to justify her love of sex, as she proclaims, It doesn't hold a bit of weight in the Kingdom of Heaven where God ordained sex as a blessing which comes after a husband and wife are united in marriage.

Answer 2

Basically marriage before sex is marrying your significant other then having sex. Sex before marriage is basically having sex before getting married to that person. Personally for me, I believe in sex before marriage, because I think if your in a committed & healthy relationship which will eventually lead into marriage then have sex all you want & it also depends on the maturity level of the relationship and how serious each person is about the relationship, but overall this is just my opinion.

Answer 3

I used to view sex before marriage as wrong until I actually had sex. Sex may be something that creates a bond b/t the two involved, but that bond only lasts as long as the sex is still going on b/t the two. I enjoy sex, and I do not view sex before marriage as being wrong, as God would not have given it to us if it was. I don't feel marriage is necessary important to share something special like that with someone special. I find my boyfriend to be very special to me even though he doesn't know I do. He is actually one of the best things to happen to me. He really knows how to please a woman too. I think it's because of his experience. People aren't necessarily ignoring the consequences of sex as much as not educated on the importance of preventing all these properly. Also, people don't always think before they do. Trust me, I had a pregnancy scare here a while ago, which is weird because we do use a form of birth control.

Answer 4

You are on a roll! Your head is definitely on straight! You have just about answered your very own questions!

OK, now opinion. The only factor left is religion. For me, the Bible teaches no sex before marriage. And that is it. And for the Christian, there are many consequences, whether we chose to realize it or not (like some of the ones you have already mentioned plus: STDs, pregnancy, lack of both parents and family structure, disobedience). Of course there is always forgiveness, but this is not something to be taken lightly, and in the end, the child/ren are the ones who suffer.

I believe our culture, society, has a big effect on our teens and adults today. You see it and hear it everywhere - TV, movies, radio, literature. Sex has become "ok" everywhere you go. One thing I do see.....starting with the young, looking up to the child entertainment and athletic stars who are wholesome, that have to make their "transition" into the adult world, that become scandlistic and trashy. Yet, our children are still following their trail. It is very sad. And it all ties into the sex because it sells. That's what makes it so easy for our teens and young adults.

It's great to see more speaking out, and the developing of more platforms for young adults to keep their purity. Even renewing it, should you have lost it.

The old hand clapping song we played....first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Susi with a baby carriage!..........Smiles

Answer 5

I agree with Amy. It's a person's own choice whether or not they have sex before marriage. Though we'd all like to think people would be mature enough if they do, unfortunately this isn't the case. Teenagers aren't looking for a physical bond, just the physical act itself. They aren't capable yet of knowing what a meaningful relationship is at that age. Today's world is so much different than when our parents grew up. It's time we stop asking these questions and get these kids more educated on the consequences, because whether we agree or not, it's going to happen.

Answer 6

I was raised to believe in waiting for marriage, but I didn't make it. I have had sex with 5 guys. Most of it was premarital. It has been a great ride. I have no guilt or regrets about it. Sometimes, I wish I had started sooner.

Answer 7

I don't think that sex before marriage is wrong. What you are saying is that as soon as you are married you suddenly become aware of things like pregnancy but it's ok to be a parent if you are married and that by being married somehow makes you a better parent. If you get married and your husband/wife starts becoming abusive, mentally or physically, I think that it would be harder for you to leave them as being married makes you even more bonded with them, this abuse could stem from one partner not being satisfied by the other which could then lead to cheating and bring STDs into the relationship all because they didn't know what each other wanted before they got married, and assumed there would be the same level of connection physically as there had been in every other way.
I don't agree with sleeping around and having a different partner every night but as long as safe sex is being performed I do not see the problem in sex before marriage. It's the same as people not living together till they are married, you don't know if living with somebody is the same as seeing them every other day I think that you are probably more likely to divorce as you hadn't realised each others annoying habits.

Answer 8

Okay, not everyone wants to get married. Some people are perfectly happy being in a monogamous relationship without the piece of paper they call marriage. I just got married last December. I have two children so obviously I had sex before I was married. My husband is also the only man I've been with. I had sex with him the first time because we were in love then and still are now. I do think people should wait until they meet that special someone but let's be real. I got lucky and met my soulmate at 17. Some people don't meet theirs until they hit 50. It's unrealistic to wait that long before having sex.

Answer 9

I am 40. From 11 to 23, sex was always on my mind.

I can only say that with diligent attention by parents, and their ability to involve their teenagers in other activities, they can possibly teach their kids that sex is very unimportant on the list of priorities.

I lived in a family where my mother was very promiscuous, and had no outside activities except work, where I got involved with other adults and started doing adult things before my time.

It all rests in the hands of the parents the GUIDANCE they have to give.

Answer 10

There are many reason to wait until you are married to have sex. Not only physical bondage but spiritual as well. That person is giving you part of them and then you are giving a part of yourself and then by the time you get married and have slept with so many people you have nothing left to give because you have given it to everyone else.
When you have sex before marriage you will always compare the sex relations that you had and if you had "good sex" with someone other then your spouse then your spouse will never add up and there will be many problems. It is a gift that was given by God and to "become one" if you are not married you have no right to indulge in that gift that is reserved for the married. If they are not commited enough to marry then they shouldn't be having sex. I see teens doing this because it s there was of dealing with low self esteem, and wanting acceptance. Often times girls who don't have a dad or he is not affectionate then they need that man attention and they get it from everywhere else. I knew girl who I went to HS with and she was in a relationship with this guy for about a year or so, anyway this guy had a lot of stuff going on in hs life and was suicidal and was raped by his uncle when he was younger, to make a long story short everything that was going on in his life he passed it on to my friend through that "spiritual bond" have you ever noticed that you start to become like the one you are having sex with and why women who get beat always go back...it is the spiritul bondage. Wait until marriage, it will be regreted if you don't

Answer 11

i'm 19 and have been with the same guy for almost 4 yrs. so yes we are having pre-marital sex. For us it felt right. We are both very mature and knew from the start that we would be together. We established a close friendship for 3 months before we started dating. And waited a long before having sex. He is the only person that I have ever been intimate with and would have it no other way. For some people waiting until marriage isn't right for them. I think waiting for the right person is more important than waiting for marriage. Sex isnt taken as seriously as it once was. I'm not saying that that is the way it should be but times have changed and thats the reality of it. At the same time religion isnt as important to people. So maybe there is a correlation there. I don't know. We cant force it to change back we can only focus on our own families.