he hasn't given me a sorry or a reason why he left, therefore I know its over despite he keeps trying to call etc, but I have also found out i am 6 weeks pregnant. I want an abortion, do I tell him?
2007-03-19 05:47:33 · 49 answers · asked by petra27 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
What an awful experience to go through. I've had an abortion myself, I was anti abortionist until i fell pregnant at 19 years old with a man I didn't want to be with. Ignore the people on here who are out to hurt you, they won't know unless it happens to them. It is a very strong decision, you have a life to live and you might not be able to cope with a baby financially or emotionally. The foetus/baby at the moment is only a small kidney shape with no conscience and no limbs.
Firstly, I would say it is your ex's right to know as you both made the adult decision to have sex and you both have to face it together. In a weird way, he may be very supportive or he may run away. Either way, if he were to find out afterwards then it would prolong the inevitable emotional pain.
Secondly, you need to focus on making positive change in your life after your abortion. I decided that i was going to get a new job and move to london so that I didn't end up dwelling on it. it's something you will never forget but you have to change it around so that it becomes a positive.
Good luck.
2007-03-19 06:14:46 · answer #1 · answered by eat my try 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If he walked out on you and did not know you were pregnant, trying to get him back because you are pregnant will come across to him as entrapment. Even if he does come back and you two end up married, he will always be a bit resentful that you "trapped" him into marriage.
Also, he walked out on you when things were "good" and it was just you two. What makes you think he will stick by your side when things get tough with having to support a child? Let him go. He has proven he is unreliable and a jerk.
He never had any "rights" in this situation. You can do what you want, tell him or not, get an abortion or not. The Supreme Court said that. Any "right" he has to know what is going on with you, his ex-girl friend he lost when he walked out the door.
If you decide to get the abortion, do not tell him. It is none of his business and to do so would only be hurtful and vindictive. Besides his issues, you do not sound mature enough to be raising a baby by yourself anyway.
Do not get pregnant again until after you find a guy who will stick with you. A good way to confirm that is, pay attention, the guy asks you to marry him and does. Once he does that, you can get pregnant with a reasonable expectation that he will be by your side during the entire pregnancy and the next 18 years of the kids life.
2007-03-19 06:37:01 · answer #2 · answered by forgivebutdonotforget911 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
you should send him a letter letting him know that you are preg and that your going to have an abortion but before you go and have an abortion why is the reason you are having an abortion? Is it that you are too young or fear that you don't have enough money to raise a baby on you own? or the fact that he hurt you therefore why have HIS baby. Please remember only about 2% of women who have an abortion get over it. Many women regret it and cry over there lost child for the rest of there life so talk to some one about your options ... abortion is forever and adoption can be taken back within the first 2 years. also there are open adoptions where you can visit the child a few times a day so that they know who you are. any ways back to your question should you tell him yes, even though ts your body its still his child too and he might want to keep it. and also maybe he left because he found out you were preg and he got scared. so send him a letter telling him his options and telling him what you plan on doing. Good luck!
2007-03-19 05:58:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
Well, first off, I am completely against abortions. An unborn child does not need to die because of an irresponsible action. Even though it is your body, it is also HIS child, so you need to tell him...regardless of what he's done to you. If he's trying to call you then obviously he has something to say to you. Listen. Just please think long and hard about your decision, because you may very well regret it for the rest of your life.
If you decide to tell him and he in fact wants this baby, then try to make it work. If you see no reconciliation happening, then he can always take full custody of the child and you won't have to deal with him or the baby.
So please just think about this before you decide. Talk to family or someone you can trust who can give you advice. Then definitely consider telling your ex so he can know what you want to do. If he decides he wants the abortion too, then think about adoption. There are many alternatives to abortion...ones that aren't so permanent.
Good Luck!
2007-03-19 06:26:40 · answer #4 · answered by brizzle 1 · 1⤊ 4⤋
It's very traumatic when couples fall out and split up, and finding out you're pregnant on top must be awful for you. If your boyfriend is trying to contact you then maybe he wants to get back with you, whichever way I think it's his right to know you're pregnant, after all it's his baby too. As fo you having an abortion, I'm not going to enter into ethics, it's not my place, but I do think you need to talk to a counsellor or someone who can give you impartial advice, because abortions create a traumatic aftermath that can take an awful long time to get over. I wish you well whatever you do.
2007-03-19 06:11:10 · answer #5 · answered by Loxie 4 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Don't tell him, he doesn't deserve it. He walked out on you for no reason (well there probably was a reason, such as another woman, but he didn't bother letting you know about it) and hasn't even apologized. Do what you feel you need to do. If you are not ready for a baby, get rid of it now. Its a tough decision to make, but sometimes, it is the only answer.
2007-03-19 06:05:03 · answer #6 · answered by thersa33 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Ok I think you want to know if you should tell your bf that you are aborting his baby, am I right? telling him that to get him back is wrong, but I would tell him you are pregnant. ABORTION IS WRONG- do not take the life of a child, because you chose to sleep with your BF. You know that there was a chance of pregnancy with sex. Please do not have an abortion- it not only kills your baby, it can be physically and emotionally damaging to you. It is not a quick fix- and do not take your anger out on the baby that you conceived.
2007-03-19 13:33:33 · answer #7 · answered by AdoreHim 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
i was in a similar situation about 8 years ago, and i left my boyfriend for cheating, and i found out i was pregnant, at the time i wanted an abortion because i didnt want to have any ties to him what so ever, so i made the call to the abortion place and later that night i started cramping and bleeding i went to the emergency room, and they did an ultrasound and it was so tiny and helpless and i started crying cause at that moment i knew that i couldnt kill this baby, hes in me and he needs me, how selfish was i just because i didnt want ties to my ex, well needless to say 8 years later i couldnt love that little guy more, and i dont know if i could have forgiven myself for that.. with that said it truly is your choice,, but think about what you could gain,,, god gives you what you can handle.. and if he didnt think that you could handle a baby then he wouldnt have blessed you with it.. just think about your life later.. could you live with yourself? god bless you...
oh and about telling him yes you should its his right as a father.. and you never know if you keep the baby he might be an awesome father.. you will never know unless you do it..
2007-03-19 06:11:27 · answer #8 · answered by ? 1 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I hope you are not getting rid of the baby, because he broke up with you. I think you should have the baby getting rid of the baby shouldn't be an option. It's not the baby's fault that you and him are in an bad situation right now, yes it's your situation and your body, but you shouldn't let him breaking up with you determine your baby's life. You shouldn't worry about the break up just do the right thing for you nobody else. Yes you should tell him and if he wants to get back with you just because your'e pregnant the relationship might not last, ya'll will just be together for the baby's sake which does relationships never last.
2007-03-19 06:06:02 · answer #9 · answered by Sunshine23 2 · 1⤊ 4⤋
seems to me your opting for an abortion just to SPITE him because he hurt you,no one can decide that quick they want one
how do you know its over if hes still calling you, maybe he wants to try again after hes had a think about what he done
he has a right to know about his baby
having an abortion is not an easy thing, it stays with you for the rest of your life
talk to your b\f he may want to keep the baby so dont do anything just to hurt him, think about it for at least a month, give yourself time to get used to be pregnant before making decisions
2007-03-19 06:57:26 · answer #10 · answered by ♥♥™Tia™♥♥ 6 · 0⤊ 4⤋