My fiance and I have lived together for two years. We're getting married in four months and took a vow of abstinence until then. We also decided that we shouldn't live together as well, so I've moved back in with my parents who were very supportive of our decision. I miss all his little quirks everyday and it's getting harded to not live at home with him.
Has anyone else been in this situation? If so, was it worth it in the end?
2007-03-19 05:37:16 · 27 answers · asked by Laura H 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is silly and frivolous. You're missing out on all of the blissful engagement moments with your husband to be. This is the fun part, leading up to the wedding, and you should be able to share it together. My fiance and I are having a great time with this: four a.m. discussions on how he's going to build five bridal arches, discussions over dinner about the wedding invites, and revelling with each other in the fact that we're going to be husband and wife soon! Don't separate just because you think it'll make for a bigger change after you say I do. The feeling of looking into his eyes and knowing that he's your husband should be enough, not that you abstained from sex for four months or that you moved out for four months. It won't be worth it; I assure you, because you're missing out on many moments in the meantime.
2007-03-19 05:44:35 · answer #1 · answered by lilmissmiss 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I didn't do that, but I think it's an interesting idea - it will certainly make it more exciting when you jump back into it. This will also give you the chance to have those last final "freedoms" (not cheating, just doing what you want and when you want to do it) before marriage.
I think it would be okay, though, to have sleep overs every once in awhile (once a week, maybe?) even if you continue your abstinence - you could even sleep in separate beds if it feels more comfortable. Have "pajama nights" so you don't miss each other so much - if you really want to be strict, have him sleep over at your parents' house (on the couch of course) so you can stay up late and have "pillow talk."
2007-03-19 16:07:27 · answer #2 · answered by nomadic 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We were abstinent as far as intercourse or oral sex went, although there was plenty of physical activity especially kissing and touching. We did not live together before marriage. You may want to go ahead and get married sooner than planned. I think we did the right thing. We have been married 20+ years now so it's hard to argue with our decision even though it didn't seem right at the time.
2007-03-19 12:59:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never been in that situation, however I wished I had tried it before I married. Myself, I think it's a great idea. Sometimes after living together for awhile, things just become routine, as they should to a certain extent. By going back to pre-living together ways, it will make the marriage more memorable and definately break the routine, so your marriage will be a great new beginning for the two of you. Good Luck!! and Congratulations!
2007-03-19 12:42:59 · answer #4 · answered by georgiarose_01 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We are getting married April 28, and just recently moved in together...like last week.
It was so tough not living together, but I think it's been well worth the wait.
I have so many friends who live with their spouses before marriage...I ask, "How's married life?" And their reply is, "Nothing's changed."
Well I want something to change! I want it to be different!
And some people say that divorce rate is higher when couples live together before marriage. Who knows.
It's really up to you.
To me, it's been worth it. Living together has been so special, and here in a few short weeks we'll be married.
I don't know you, but I'm really proud that you took a vow of abstinence.
Luvaleeh>>How is this silly and ridiculous? People can be so rude and shallow on here.
2007-03-19 12:42:40 · answer #5 · answered by sweetxgrace 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
loveahlee has it right. I have been living with my fiance for 10 years this December and we'll be married in June. I don't want to be apart from him because this is a speical time for us. Sex/abstinence has nothing to do with it. It's all about the relationship we have and the one we're building with each other. This should be a time that the two of you share with each other. Think about it
2007-03-19 12:50:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow I had no idea this was still going on in the world, it seems such a dated philosophy. I would never marry anyone without sleeping with them first. Sex is important, and if you don't have that chemistry, it will lead to bad feelings and the relationship won't last. If you can live well together, why wouldn't you? It does sound that your relationship is moving backwards, if you don't believe in living together and having sex before marriage, I would start believing in the possibility of divorce. You'll need it in the future!
2007-03-19 12:55:22 · answer #7 · answered by kiss_me_cold_007 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you sure both of you are being abstinent? Looks like it's the last chance to sew a few wild oats to me especially since you moved out. I would wonder about fidelity in this situation. You have several markers in your wording that possibly elude to this. In particularly the uncertainty of the situation.
2007-03-19 13:19:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I haven't been in such a situation but I think you have done well for having moved out. Keep up to your decision for it is good for both of you. The four months will enable you to grow more matured and learn self control. Trust your good decision and live up to it.
2007-03-19 12:55:22 · answer #9 · answered by Binnus 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would like to know why you bothered moving out? Maybe it was guilt after all those years of shacking up..I guess you are a couple of those weird people that thinks it will make things better or guilt free when you walk down the isle in white..What a joke! You may even change your mind while you are separated.
Commitment is commitment you just chose to do it before marriage. And what you are doing wont change a thing!
2007-03-19 12:46:56 · answer #10 · answered by blahblah 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋