My girlfriend and I have been going out for almost 2 years now. Our closest friends know we’re a couple, but neither of our parents know. They seem to think it’s a terrible thing for two girls to be going out. I only have my mother and she has her mom and dad. I’m starting not to care too much if my mom is going to make a big deal out of it, but my girlfriend is afraid she’ll be disowned. I’m not asking for a solution, just some opinions of why it’s such a big deal for two girls, or two guys, to love one another romantically. Any comments would be appreciated.
2007-03-19 05:31:05 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
My mom's like that too. She figured out I was a lesbian b4 I was ready to tell her, and our relationship has been almost nonexistent since. (Granted, we weren't all that close before.) I don't understand how it can be such a big deal that it splits up families like that. My brother was so angry that he told me when he got married I'd never meet his wife. I know that my family's religious beliefs are against homosexuality, but still, family's family. I'm not even dating a woman yet! It must be a really deeply ingrained prejudice. It's been present for centuries, so maybe that explains some of it. People are just so terrified of the unknown and unfamiliar that they won't even consider accepting it. I think anger's almost always a cover for fear of some kind. And for family, sometimes it's a shock. They thought for years that we were straight and "normal," that we would have big weddings and get married and have grandkids and a nice spouse of the opposite gender that they could brag to their friends about...then they find out we're "one of those." And I think there's associated prejudices for some people about gay/lesbians--that they're mentally ill, or pedophiles, and all have multiple partners that do unspeakable sexual acts and have orgies every weekend. After all, being sexually intimate with someone of the same gender was illegal until not all that long ago.
It's all a big mess. But good luck to you and your girlfriend--2 years! Wow. :)
2007-03-19 05:44:22 · answer #1 · answered by kacey 5 · 5⤊ 1⤋
You have a good question. There is no reason why sexual orientation should be used to judge a person. You can't help who you fall in love or who you are interested in. If it happens to be the same sex, so be it. We live in a free country and you should be able to live it how you want as long as it does not hurt anyone. If people don't like it, they can turn and go the other way. They have no right to tell you what you are doing is wrong because they think it is wrong. How do we know that they are not wrong?
2007-03-19 19:48:58 · answer #2 · answered by Wanderer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree with you! If two people love each other and are kind to each other then what is the problem?
I think some parents from when their children are born have all of these little fantasies about their children getting married and having children etc. Sadly, they only see their children with someone of the opposite sex. When people can get it though their heads that same sex couples have the same desires and wants as opposite couples such as marriage, buying a house together, family and children, then they might not behave so ridiculously when their fantasies are shattered.
I can't see the difference between same and opposite sex couples. I just don't know how people can't understand that?
2007-03-19 12:55:44 · answer #3 · answered by sydney77 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I couldn't tell you why. I think it's fine. For a lot of people it's just "gross" because people are generally very egocentric and only think of themselves. For parents, it's almost a mourning of the "grandchildren" that they feel they may never have--so maybe once your mom knows your situation, after she's had time to deal with it, you could explain to her that you may (or may not!) ever have kids. For a lot of people they use the bible as something to hide behind by saying that it's "an abomination". But you know, if you do believe in the bible, there are sooo many things that people sin by doing every day, and it also says that every sin is equal in God's eyes, so that's a pretty weak argument. All people sin and usually on a daily basis, so being gay isn't really any different than someone who lies (something we all do and can't really help).
2007-03-19 12:42:51 · answer #4 · answered by um yeah... 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Because they have been trained all their lives to believe that its bad. A lot of people will say that its "against the bible" to be lesbian, but if they would bother to re-read the bible, there is NOTHING in it about lesbianism, and a lot of the things in the bible are quoted selectively - the Ten Commandments demands death for a disobedient teenager or for working on the Sabbath. Old prejudices die hard, but eventually they will die when people realize just how stupid they are. BTW: I'm straight and think of homosexuality in purely medical, and not moral, terms - i.e., its genetic, and all the current evidence points in that direction.
To "Maybelline" below: Not all civilizations have considered homosexuality to be depraved - it was encouraged by the Greeks because it was believed that the soldiers would fight harder if they were defending their lovers. You need to pick up and read more history books before making pronouncements like the inaccurate one you did here.
2007-03-19 12:38:43 · answer #5 · answered by Paul Hxyz 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You are assuming what the reaction of the parents will be. You'll never know for sure until you tell them.
As for why parents of homos are critical? The ones who are critical are probably jumping to conclusions about no grandchildren, what will the neighbors think, is my son/daughter going to start dressing/behaving like a freak and embarrass the family name, and all sorts of other concerns that they need to deal with.
Also, your hiding of the relationship confirms to everyone that you are ashamed of it.
2007-03-19 12:39:30 · answer #6 · answered by bikerchickjill 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People tend to criticize that which they do not understand. Unfortunately, heterosexuals cannot understand what it is to love someone of the same sex. It SHOULDN'T be a big deal, but since there are those in the world who do make it a big deal, a majority of people follow along blindly without educating themselves or discovering for themselves that we are just like everyone else...we just happen to fall in love with someone of the same sex.
2007-03-19 12:48:10 · answer #7 · answered by behrmark 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
OMG, girl, don't listen to these zealots. Your parents should love you no matter what. I don't know why people get so upset about who you love. It's like in the 60's when blacks and whites couldn't date. It just doesn't make any sense. And I bet they said back then "well if a white can marry a black, then why can't people marry sheep or their sister... etc." Seriously, no logic whatsoever. There has been homosexuality since ANCIENT times, funny how people forget that. Just do what you do, and remember your happiness is paramount.
2007-03-19 12:45:42 · answer #8 · answered by jjspike 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Well I'm bisexual and I enjoy my partner (my sexy man Mike). But it doesn't matter with me. Male or Female. If you connect with someone then its all about what you think. Not what others think. I'm not saying its easy to deal with. I'm just saying feel whats natural to you. If you get disowned than the person who did that really doesn't care for you and respect you.
2007-03-19 12:38:57 · answer #9 · answered by Some Random Guy 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
First off, stop confusing "sexual preferances" with "sexual orientation."
Sexual Preferance has to do with personal likes, dislikes, ways in which you enjoy the act of sex, the body type, hair color, eye color, political bend, sence of humor...etc in your partners.
Sexual Orientation has to do with the gender of your partners and who you are naturally oriented towards.
2007-03-19 14:00:50 · answer #10 · answered by DEATH 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋