I borrowed 20grand from my (now)fiance about 6 months ago so that I could buy a vehicle and not have ridiculous interest rates. I have been making payments to him every month, but we recently got engaged and I am wondering if I should say something to him about whether or not I need to keep paying him back.
2007-03-19 05:28:15 · 24 answers · asked by h_nanny 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is a tough one. Technically you entered the agreement before you got engaged so yes, you still owe the debt. Logically, as his money will soon become your money - and vise versa - it seems silly to make monthly installments. You need to ask him what he expects to happen. He may want you to put the money into a savings account to be used towards the wedding - as sort of his contribution for helping to pay for things. Or he may want you to keep paying him and whatever he does with the money is his choice. Either way, it's really up to him and whatever you do, don't get mad at him if he says he wants you to continue paying him. By rights (and law) you do owe him the money. Good luck. P.S. if you get married before you have paid up your debt at that point I would definitely NOT expect that you should have to pay him monthly because at that point, your debts become his - and vise versa - so you'd only be paying yourself!
2007-03-19 05:40:39 · answer #1 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he drive the car? If he does than no, I would not keep paying him. If he has 20 grand to just give to you, he is obviously not suffering for money. When you get married everything is community property. I don't pay my husband money to use the computer even though he bought it for me. Same goes for a car. My husband paid off all of my debt before we got married, (while we were engaged) and has never asked for a red cent. If he says that you need to pay him back there is something wrong. He asked you to become his wife, so I don't think you need to worry about the money. But you should come up with an agreement that if you two should break up ( I really hope this doesn't happen) then what you will do with the vehicle and all other community property. Congrats and good luck with the marriage.
2007-03-19 05:34:40 · answer #2 · answered by Jamie B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. The more you show him that you will pay things that you have borrowed - 20Grand today, 20 pound tomorrow - the more you will make him used to the fact that you are paying back.
You should indirectly find out whether you have to pay it or not - but don't push it. Leave him be a man for a change. I don't understand why not only us women work so hard, also we cook clean for our man, then become pregnant all that 9 months pain and emotions, let alone we even deal with his bloody mother which ends up monster in law!
Let him treat you like a queen girl, that's what you are!
2007-03-19 05:36:00 · answer #3 · answered by Spark S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it, but I have to say that YES you should pay him back. He probably needs the money to pay for your ring, LOL!
Also, what if he runs into some financial difficulty? It would be nice for him to have that money to cover his emergencies, as he was there for you when you needed him. Also, this sets the stage for how you guys handle money issues once you get married. Have a talk with him-maybe you won't have to pay back all of the money-but I do think you should pay back at least half of the money. It would be a really nice gesture and would show him that you were not taking advantage of his kindness simply because of your relationship. Whatever you decide to do, good luck and congratulations on becoming engaged!
2007-03-19 05:33:59 · answer #4 · answered by True Hija De Oshun! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is a few thing which you ought to 'communicate over' with him. i'm guessing that he 'loaned you' the $20,000 because of the fact he 'enjoyed you' yet wanted to be 'paid decrease back' to coach which you're 'financially in charge.' in case you have been getting married the next day, then i might say that it wasn't 'needed' which you could proceed to 'pay him decrease back' yet once you're basically 'engaged' then it ought to be needed which you do proceed ... in case you 'supply up paying him' given which you're 'engaged' it ought to recommend which you're no longer as 'financially in charge' as he'd like ... so have a 'long communicate' with him approximately this 'funds' ... perhaps the two one in all you ought to get a 'joint economic corporation account' and the two commence 'paying funds into that' (inclusive of the 'money' you're making to him for the 'very own loan') and can make certain now a thank you to 'spend' that quantity and on what once you're married ...
2016-10-02 09:32:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure most people will say this same thing but you are in no position to commit the rest of your life to someone if you have to ask strangers about this. You both should be communicative enough with each other about everything - ESPECIALLY money issues. Money is the #1 issue responsible for the breakup of a relationship. Especially marriage. My advice...just bring it up with him. Discuss how your individual finances should be handled. Seperate bank accounts? Joint? Decide how all bills are paid. Marriage typically means a marriage of debt as well... but it can't be assumed. Good luck to you both!
2007-03-19 05:33:59 · answer #6 · answered by lordydordy42 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should keep paying the money, you borrowed it and intended to pay it back right? Then what has happened between you should have nothing to do with that. Keep your word and pay him back. Just because your engaged doesn't mean he needs to buy you everything.
2007-03-19 05:52:45 · answer #7 · answered by Nikki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I would.
If you marry before the loan is paid up, then you could stop.
If you marry, then he/she can never throw an unpaid loan or lack of attempt to repay, back into your face if you argue.
If you don't marry, then you need to pay it back anyways.
How about starting with a clean "$ 0.00" financial record before you marry?
I feel strongly about removing any obstacles having to do with money...'cause money can be the reason that best friends break up.
2007-03-19 05:38:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him what he would like you to do about the debt. Does he want you to continue to pay him back or does he want you not to be concerned about that now since; depending on when you guys will get married he may want you to focus on the wedding planning instead.
May you guys have a happy life together.
Good luck with what ever you decide to do
2007-03-19 05:35:20 · answer #9 · answered by dymps 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it was me, I would.
Honestly, I wouldn't be borrowing 20 grand for a car. I would find a cheaper automobile for now and then build your credit up to where your interest rates won't be so high.
2007-03-19 05:32:01 · answer #10 · answered by sweetxgrace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋