If there's more than one thing you'd change, please, by all means, do vent!
2007-03-19 05:24:59 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
First: communication. Children are not a messenger service. If you have something to say to your ex-spouse: write a letter, make a phone call, hire a sky-writer ... but do NOT ever use the children to relay messages.
Second: pawns. Children are people, too. They are not little pawns on a chess board to be sacrificed on the alter of adult anger. For 30+ years, my mother has hoarded an unreasonible amount of anger towards my father, and didn't hesitate to tell me that my father didn't love me or that I shouldn't have anything to do with him -- even my children shouldn't have gone to see "that man and his wife" (dad and step-mother).
Third: parenting. The parents need to realize that the children still have TWO parents, even though those parents no longer share a household. Information regarding the children's school, health and welfare should flow back and forth between the two households because it is truly in the best interest of the children for BOTH parents to know what's going on.
The TWO parents also need to realize that the rules in each household are probably different. The residential parent (the one with full-time custody) is probably going to be stricter than the non-residential parent (the one with the visitation rights). That doesn't make the part-time parent any better or worse than the full-time parent, it just means that the part-time parent isn't spending as much time dealing with homework, boyfriends/girlfriends and the such -- the kids are visiting there, not living there!
Fourth: the children have rights, too. If a child has a legitimate reason for wanting to change where they live, the parents should honor that without having to hire lawyers and go back into Court. That doesn't mean that the child should be allowed to hop back and forth between the two households every time he gets mad at one of his parents, just that if he's given it an honest try and doesn't like living with parent "x" -- let him try living with parent "y".
Parents -- divorced or otherwise -- need to remember that children are people, too. They have thoughts, feelings, needs and wants just like "grown-ups". Listen to your children. Discuss things. Come to decisions that you and your child can live with. And, above everything else, love your child because they won't be children for long.
2007-03-19 05:44:22 · answer #1 · answered by kc_warpaint 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I favor my father and mom had in simple terms chop up up lengthy formerly they did. i be conscious of that they stayed at the same time for my sake because they did not opt to break my preparation, yet I wasn't blind. I knew that the in person-friendly words reason I were given surpassed their mastercard, gasoline card, money, a sparkling automobile, clothing, and so on., replaced into all so that they could attempt to shop me satisfied and so targeted on my personal life, that i doesn't listen or see the themes they'd. It did not artwork. I nonetheless knew. They both spent more advantageous years in an unhappy marriage than they had to. i'm divorced, and the in person-friendly words element that i'd change should be that my ex strengthen up and be a real father. Visitations each 3-5 months do no longer characterize being an in touch father, no longer once you stay interior a similar state. i'm also a stepmom. If i ought to, i'd make my husbands ex end attempting to damage any danger of a strong courting between my husband and his youthful ones. She and her husband are to blame for making issues so puzzling on the youngsters. in spite of if father and mom dont get alongside, the custodial verify could no longer intrude in the courtroom ordered visitation, and could no longer attempt to make the youngster make a call from their father and mom.
2016-11-26 22:28:28 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get divorced sooner. I really don't know how they stay married as long as they did. My mom should've left my dad the first time she considered it. My life would've been way different had this happened earlier.
2007-03-19 05:38:23 · answer #3 · answered by *Cara* 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce a lot sooner than they did!
2007-03-19 05:29:25 · answer #4 · answered by ilovethe90s 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Not marry in the first place. I don't know how they made it 10 years.
Oh, and my dad not filling me in on the details...Don't care dude!!!
2007-03-19 05:31:00 · answer #5 · answered by Lotus Phoenix 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Grow up before they had children.
2007-03-19 05:30:15 · answer #6 · answered by kevin k 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dont stay together as long as possible for the kids. we hear the fighting. see the bruises.
2007-03-19 05:36:07 · answer #7 · answered by iwill 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To quit breeding after me.
2007-03-19 05:27:49 · answer #8 · answered by Dana O 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
communicate more and put the kids first. Stop fighting.
2007-03-19 05:27:28 · answer #9 · answered by Rachel T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wiated a little longer, i was 6 and my sister was 2
i can deal with alot and my sister is a baby...
2007-03-19 05:54:50 · answer #10 · answered by jjborn2ride03 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋