I went to college and now i am a art director for a graphics company. He just has a GED and struggles holding onto jobs from time to time. I know hes trying and not being just lazy and I really love him. We are have a baby together in July. I think my parents wish it was with someone more sucessful, but to me that doesnt matter as much as how well we are together. Would it be crazy that I work and he stays home with the kids too?
2007-03-19 05:05:10 · 26 answers · asked by anotherblondie01 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
although money is the number one reason for divorce in the united states, you should marry him if you love him and he loves you. b/c you already know that he struggles with jobs, this is something that may happen after you get married too, so you have to ask yourself will you be okay paying all the bills sometimes.
i had the same problem with my boyfriend, except his parents spoiled him growing up, and did a lot for him, so when i met him he went through a lot of jobs and they were giving him money, instaed of letting him do it on his own. we moved in together and i knew what i was getting into before i did it, b/c i saw how he was with jobs. so i couldn't blame anyone but myself, and at one point he did stay home for a while, but dinner was cooked and the house was clean, i liked that.
now he has been working straight for 7 months and i ve been home cause im having a baby in june. i miss work and i wouldn't mind going to work and coming home to a dinner and clean house. my brother did that with his baby and girlfriend. he stayed home and his girlfriend didn't mind.
so i don't think it would be crazy at all. its 2007 and a lot has changed over the decades. if thats something you feel comfortable doing than go for it. i hope he can cook. good luck.
2007-03-19 05:19:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, here goes my $0.02. If he's willing to stay home and be Mr. Mom while you work, I see nothing wrong with that. Someone has to care for the child (and can I say, at this point, since the child is on the way, it's a little too late to be asking "should" you marry this guy. You made your bed, now lie in it, the child deserves to have a legitimate father). With that said, not too many men can HANDLE their women making more money than them or staying home washing clothes, changing diapers while their wives wisk off to work. If he's of the sort that can 'successfully' do that, then okay. But by successfully I mean he won't begin to resent his role in the relationship/family and start to lashout or go into self hate mode. I think that it's a man's job to provide for his family and the woman's job to take care of the home and family...that is how God created it and that's how it should be. Personally, I make more money working my one job than my fiance does working three jobs. But he works three so that I can come home and rest after I work my one. At times I can see where that is an issue for him and at times he seems okay with it (and sometimes it bugs me). You have to also ask yourself if YOU will be okay with the reversed roles? Every woman wants a man who can kill the calf and bring it home by the tail - a strong warrior who'll defend her with his last breath. If you are of that sort of woman and your guy is that warrior type, I seriously doubt it will work. Sooner or later his self-worth and ego will take a hit and he'll get miserable. On the flip side, try not to make things TOO easy on him. He could be content with your working like a dog while he sits on the couch and spends your money and only does the minimal to care for the child and home. Like any other relationship, it takes everyone knowing what their part is for it to work. If everyone is content in their part, great. But when one link in the machine breaks down, the whole instrument fails to work properly. Remember that and good luck.
2007-03-19 05:28:45 · answer #2 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already mated with the man (your family must have been so proud to hear the bit of news) I guess a big paycheck and being smart enough to follow the directions on the bc do not go together. If he has a nurturing nature he may want to stay home. However if you make enough money why not just hire a nanny.
2007-03-19 05:13:00 · answer #3 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you both love each other, why does it matter who makes more money? If it doesn't bother him, don't worry about it. If he doesn't have to work and can stay home with your baby, that is a good thing. Maybe later he can take some classes at the local community college.
2007-03-19 05:13:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it isn't crazy at all. Just be sure that you all can survive on just your income. Advantages of a single parent staying home are: no outside child care costs, no need to spend more on work clothing, reduced fuel costs, reduced car maintenance, and BEST OF ALL, having a parent there for the child!
My wife and I are discussing stay-at-home parenting for our future children (all nine of them) at this time, and yes we even talked about, "so what if you stay home instead, Bill" options.
2007-03-19 07:08:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what kind of (beep) question is that? I thought people like you dont exist as much, it is 2007, open up your brains. if you love him and want to marry him what does $$$ have to do with anything?
marriage and relationship isnt and SHOULDNT be about money. if it is then find a rich guy or something in those lines.
ok yes, society has the unwritten rules of how guys should be taller, make more money, etc
but in an actual relationship, if you're worried about that then i hope the guy takes a hike because i would feel bad for him for being with a shallow person like u!
2007-03-19 05:12:44 · answer #6 · answered by Moore55 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It may cause problems...but if you think that you can respect a man that makes less then you and your relationship has a strong foundation then go for it...that just means you're a mature lady and isn't superficial. And no it's not crazy for him to stay home with the kids while you work, I actually think that's a good idea if you make enough to support the family. Talk to him and see what he feels about that suggestion.
2007-03-19 05:11:14 · answer #7 · answered by Always Camera Ready 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What should matter is his motivation and ambition level. If he works hard and has ambition to make his life better, then sure why not. If he's content being a schlub, you might reconsider because you might eventually get frustrated with his lack of ambition and inability to contribute.
There are plenty of "house husbands". If you make more money, it makes sense for you to keep working and him stay home if he's OK with that.
2007-03-19 05:13:57 · answer #8 · answered by Vexer D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats not crazy, and many couples do this. If its more efficient for your family to have a stay at home dad, then so be it. But when your child is grown and in school, he should really start working again and taking the burden off of JUST YOU to provide for the family. Good luck
2007-03-19 05:09:13 · answer #9 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well first you are asking so that should tell you something right there; if it doesn't bother you then go for it; I'm guessing from the wording of your question that after a few years of this arrangement you will be resentful and that will cause major marital issues that will not be resolved ending in a divorce; with that said, if you think you can deal with it, go for it.
2007-03-19 05:10:14 · answer #10 · answered by abc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋