just curious, i am 12 weeks pregnant. when i am 21 weeks pregnant my husband leaves for saudi for 6 mos (he's military) and i have four kids with me. my parents live 3 hrs away and most likely wont get here in time if i go into labor (my labors are usually right about 2hrs or less). am i going to be allowed to take my kids with me? i dont have any one else to watch them. im not sure what most hospitals say about this, but if i dont have a choice, can they turn me away? the kids will be 8, 5, 2, and 11 mos at the time i'm due
2007-03-19 04:55:55 · 23 answers · asked by mikeysprincss 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I am in NJ. And I am not expecting the hospital to baby sit my kids. I would have to do it if they came with. I totally dont want them there or to scare them or anything. I just feel stuck and sad :(
The military has been no help so far. They said he might be able to come home after the baby is born, but that doesnt help my situation. His parents arent close and not that good with the kids. My parents work so I dont know about them staying with me. I am so confused.
2007-03-19 05:03:51 · update #1
Ill check on the drop in care. No friends, no church, and my kids wont be able to miss that much school to stay with my parents for a couple weeks, they can only miss 10 days for the entire calendar year. i certainly hope child protective services wouldnt come and take my kids because i didnt have anyone to watch them,that sounds pretty extreme
2007-03-19 05:12:10 · update #2
This is my 1st baby but if i did have other children i wouldnt want them witnessing traumatic child birth at those ages, they are too young i feel. They will no like to see there mum screaming on a hospital bed not knowing what is going on. Up to you though xxx
2007-03-19 04:59:09 · answer #1 · answered by Gemma 27.05.2007 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That sucks your husband won't be home when you go into labor, but you've got to start focusing on problem-solving and finding a solution of where your kids can go. A few ideas:
1) Most cities and suburbs have 24-hour drop-in day emergency day care. You would have to pre-register for it and you would want to check it out in advance. Have you looked into something like this. It is likely expensive, but you could probably afford it for a few hours until your parents arrive.
2) Can your parents take time off work, such as vacation time or person leave, or family medical leave, to watch the kids?
3) Can you drop your kids off at your parents right about your due date and have them stay there until the baby is born?
4) Do you have close friends or other family in the neighborhood?
5) Do you belong to a church? is there someone at the church whom you could ask for help? perhaps someone could come forward if you ask the minister to help you on this one? maybe he knows of someone?
6) Can you call the hospital and ask them for suggestions on what to do with the kids?
7) does your 8 and 5 year old have very close friends at school whose parents could take them for a few days (pre-arranged of course) when you go into labor? if you know and trust the parents, this could be an option.
2007-03-19 05:10:10 · answer #2 · answered by EmLa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Get your parents to stay with you closer to the time, if possible.
2) Do you have friends? Neighbors you can trust? Don't go the hospital alone, but I wouldn't bring teh kids either. Especially since you have no way to watch the kids. Plan to have a neighbor watch them until your parents can get there.
3) How close are his parents? Do either one of you have family in the area?
I think kids in the birthing area is great...if they know what's going on. A 2 year old isn't going to know what the heck is going on and will want to run around and mess things up. You don't need that extra stress. Maybe the kids could spend a week or two at Grandma's?
2007-03-19 04:59:12 · answer #3 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People saying that the hospital won't allow your kids to be there is driving me crazy!!! Of course they will allow you to take your children.. Are they saying that when you show up in the ER 4 kids in tow they are going to tell you to leave? NONSENSE! What I am wondering is how are you going to get there? You obviously can't drive in labor.
It will be way to hard for you to care for the two year old and the 11 month old by yourself. As a mother you should realize that some labors are long. Children need entertainment and to eat.
My suggestion would be to find your local Homeschooling group and ask them if any of the older girls there (at least of driving age) would be willing to get to know you and your children for the last few months and be a mothers helper during labor and childbirth.. Many home school moms and daughters will probably come forward.
Start by googeling your Town and homeschooling.
And my goodness with such short labors have you considered Homebirth? You will have that baby so fast that maybe your children wont even notice that your laboring and there won't be a chance of you delivering in the car!! LOL
2007-03-19 05:20:49 · answer #4 · answered by Carla R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're going to have to find someone to watch your kids. Children are not allowed in L&D. Besides, you won't be released the same day so It's not like the hospital is going to let them room with you. The other option is to find a midwife and deliver at home. Since this is your 4th, I'm sure you would be ok, as long as you had all natural vaginals before. You may even be able to have your 8 year old watch- if they want to. But who would take care of your 11 month old in either situation?
Your best bet is to ask your mom to come out and be with you around your delivery time.
2007-03-19 05:02:00 · answer #5 · answered by TrixyLoo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pre register with the hospital ahead of time, let them know your situation and they might have a hospital volunteer, or other person that they can designate for you.
Being that it is not like you are trying to take advantage, I am sure that they will more than happy to accomidate you.
Another option may be to check out local babysitters. You might be able to have them play with the kids in the waiting area, while you are busy with contractions and stuff, chances are that if you call your family as soon as labor starts, in just a few hours the babysitter can be relieved by them.
Treating the mother as the patient DOES include helping the family, expecailly in the case of adding a new baby. There will be a social services person associated with your hospital.
Keep in mind that not everyone has family that are close and willing to help. For those assuming that you do not Deserve a "babysitter" with your hopsital, ask them if they deserve to live in the Free country that your husband is serving.
If you were in my area, I would gladly meet you at the hopsital, even with my two kids in tow. We would have a great time distracting the kids while you welcomed your new little one to the world.
Best of luck to you
2007-03-19 05:06:20 · answer #6 · answered by Rocka 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry you are in this position, but you do have plenty of time on your side. This is not the time to be shy....start now and get to know your neighbors, join a church or a mother group. Seriously. You will be amazed at how willing people are to help, if only they know you need it!
If it really comes down to the wire and you don't have someone lined up to watch the kids, talk to your doctor about a scheduled induction so you can have your parents watching over them. If your doctor isn't understanding, find a new doctor.
Get out there and meet people! Good luck!
2007-03-19 06:02:56 · answer #7 · answered by merk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A friend of mine had her 2nd daughter exactly one month after our husbands' unit deployed to Iraq. Her parents were able to come stay with her when it got closer to her due date, so she had someone to help around the house and watch her 4 year old daughter. Do you have any friends or family that could come for a week or two to help out like that? You may ask your doctor if you can be induced on your due date so that you can be sure someone can be there for child care. I know my doctor (also at a military hospital) told me he'd have no problem inducing on my due date so that my husband could be there. I think they understand that with the military lifestyle things can be a little more hectic.
BUT I'm sure if you show up in labor with your other 4 kids in tow, they won't turn you away. I can't even imagine what they'd do with them, though. I doubt the hospital has the staff to watch them and you won't really be in a position to, either. Maybe another one of the wives from your husband's unit can help you out. Ask around, I'm sure someone can do something for you.
Good luck, I can't even imagine how hard it's going to be with 5 little ones and your husband gone!
2007-03-19 05:06:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your kids are to young.
I DON'T THINK THE HOSPITAL WOULD ALLOW THIS.YOU CAN CALL AND FIND OUT THERE POLICY.
Do you have a close friend a neighbor or someone from your church that can help you out.
Can your parents come stay with you for a couple of weeks?? I would think you would be in the hospital a few days and it would be nice to have the help after having your 5 th baby.
Congrats and thanks to your husband for serving our country especially during the birth of your child.
This is a hard situation I have children and its hard to find someone you can trust.Maybe your school has a list of girls who have taken the baby sitting course and you could have them come over now so you see how they do with the kids.Even if its until your parents can take over.
Best of luck!!
2007-03-19 05:32:59 · answer #9 · answered by KAT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter was 10 when my son was born and she was in the room with me...I kept her up by my head so she won`t see anything though...However in your case you have 4 kids and two really small ones, and I don`t think the hospital will let you bring them with you when you don`t have an adult there to watch them..Plus I know the hospital I was at only allowed three people to be with me in the delivery room...Call your hospital and find out what there policies are..Try and get your Parents or maybe a sister/brother to come stay with you for the last couple of weeks before your due..Good Luck!!
2007-03-19 05:06:47 · answer #10 · answered by bad kitty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most hospitals allow siblings in the room and to view the birth. My concern is who will watch them while your in labor. As you may already know you will be way too busy to care for them. Maybe a friend can come along to help. They can't refuse you care maybe they would have a nurse or a hospital social worker help with the kids. Maybe a hospital volunteer like a candy striper could come in with toys and books to help keep them entertained too. Maybe you could call and ask the hospital what they could do if this would be your situation.
2007-03-19 05:04:48 · answer #11 · answered by Mom of 5 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋