Does anyone agree with me that women have short changed themselves?

Question

I answered a question about white women over 40 being bitter and angry with the following:
I truly believe that that is about the age that we realize that we have sold ourselves out. We have given up the raising of our children (if we took the time to have them) to public daycare. We have given up our marriages for careers that will always have a glass ceiling. We have given up our privileges of being treated with dignity and respect for being treated "equal". All those things that we thought we "needed" seem very cold and empty and unfulfilling at this point.

We would like to blame it on men, again, but we made those choices. We took many steps down to become equal. It is about this age that we realize how cheaply we are selling ourselves.........and that it is really OUR fault.

Does anyone else agree with me?

Answer 1

Hi. I'm a 43-year-old woman and I have to respectfully disagree with you. At least women today have the choice to work or not to work based on their own personal situations.

Some women choose to be married to their careers, instead of a man and that makes them happy. Other women are married to their man and they also have kids and a career, yet they are still happy. Still, others have decided a career isn't for them and they love being a stay-at-home mom, who volunteers to help-out in their children's school. This is what makes their lives complete.

I've never participated in the women's right's movement, since it took place in my childhood. However, I am grateful to those who did fight for our right to be paid the same wage as a man for the same work. I'm also thankful that women generally are not looked down upon for being working mothers, since many women have no other choice to earn money so they can put food on the table.

There is one thing that did significantly happen when working women created two-income households. The cost of living went up, up, up! It's a shame because women went to work in hopes of bringing a better lifestyle to their family but now they're still struggling to make ends meet. Talk about being short changed!

Answer 2

I can't completely agree, because some women ARE happy having chosen a career over marriage and family. And some, like me, would not be happy if I had to choose one over the other. I have both, and can't really imagine giving either up. It's tough at times, but nothing good ever comes easy.

But I do understand where you are coming from. Particularly here in the US, we have long been at the point where it takes both parents working to make ends meet, and it must seem very unfair to those with more traditional feelings about raising a family. And having someone tell you "marry a rich man" is no solution, LOL. I'm not sure what a good solution is, though.

Answer 3

No.

1. Many employes give generous leave time for women who have children, and also have men willing to switch shifts or stop working altogether to provide as much parental raising as possible until their child reaches school age.

2. More women are holding higher positions in corporations, and have an equal chance as men to receive a promotion.

3. I am still treated with dignity and respect. Men still hold open doors, offer to pay for dinner, and realize we are moody without asking why.

I think that without us pushing to become equal, many of these things, such as equality in the workplace, etc. would not be possible today. I feel extremely fulfilled in my life, and my three daughters have a more promising future than my mother could ever hope for.

Answer 4

I'm a man, so my opinion does not matter here.

Giving up your privilege of being treated with dignity and respect for being treated as equal.

That is profound.

Some can blame it on men though. We're not a perfect species either.

Answer 5

Instead of looking for someone to agree or disagree with you, why not turn it into something constructive. Why not turn feelings of anger and frustration into motivation for change.

Instead of blaming men or finding the fault in women, would it not be more fulfilling to pass on the lessons learned?

What makes us think of human progress as a constant move forward? Is not possible to progress in the form of restoration.

The problem stems not from seeking equality, but not seeing it within the context of a partnership with men.

Answer 6

I think its amazing that the feminist movement tried to teach women that they did NOT need a relationship with a man to be fulfilled but THEN substituted it with Career. LIke happiness is to be found in a career. I dont THINK so.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a family and setting your goals on having a great one. But the feminists made that a social crime.

Answer 7

wow. given up our privileges of being treated with dignity and respect for being treated equal. that's great. i do believe that alot (not all) women have done just that.

Answer 8

I'm a 42 year old white woman who does not agree with you in any way shape or form.If you want to sit on the pity pot and whine and cry and be negative,then negativity will be your best friend.I would never blame my short comings or lack of success on a man or anyone else.With all that negative energy you have nowhere to go but down........

Answer 9

Maybe. But if your priorities are to have a career and not family, then there's no point regretting it later. Sounds more to me like someone in one of those moods we all get in.

I do like to see some "old fashioned" values myself though...

Answer 10

yes I do. and I also believe men have short changed themselves. we are buckled down to our knees because what they have between the legs, and our weakness to it.