I dont like the things that my wife does. whats the best way to advise her and show that you are angry?

Question

We were suppose to go to new zealand together with one of her male friend to visit her sister that just went back last month after a long holiday and coming back next two months. I told her i cant go due to tight schedule and she insist of going with me. I told her maybe next week or the following week. Suddenlly fo some reason they decided to go without me with the reason that her sister is upset because we have postpone the trip so many times. We had arguments before she left and i clearly showed and told her that i dont agree with her plans but she left yesterday morning

Answer 1

You have only yourself to blame. I don't know about you, but a trip to New Zealand is kind of a big deal, and it may be neither easy nor cheap to keep changing arrangements for a guy who says, "maybe" next week. If you had simply given her a firm commitment for when you could go, I might have taken your side. However, in her situation, I think I would have done the same thing she did. She couldn't count on you, so she did the only thing she could and went without you.

I recommend you start acting like a mature, responsible man if you don't want things like this to keep happening. Make commitments and stick to them.

Answer 2

You have 2 issues. Trust and Control.

1.) Don't you trust your wife? Sounds like you don't. The male friend is HER friend you say, not a mutual friend, so I also sense jealousy. If she has given you no cause to mistrust her, you are out of line. If she has and you suspect this man of a romantic involvement with her, you should discuss it together.

2.) If the prior postponements were your doing, I think she was right to go. You don't just back out of a trip like that at the last minute and expect her not to go. Of course she left, no one likes to be controlled or have a relationship with a controlling person.

If she comes back, I'd suggest a sit down chat to air your feelings and seek counseling together. Otherwise, get out of the marriage before you destroy each other. Without trust and maturity, you have nothing.

Answer 3

It seem like she has little respect for you and your decisions. You definitely want to talk to her about this immediately. Call her this evening and talk to her about why she went anyway. Also, maybe you have a routine of shooting down her ideas of going places but if this is not the case you need to talk to her and explain clearly why this is not a good time to go on a trip like that.

Answer 4

try to calmly talk to her and tell her why you were so upset, and that you weren't aware that you NOT going was even a possibility!!! Tell her you understand why she didn't want to change the plans, but it just made the situation worse. don't flip out, don't yell, don't degrade, just tell her. Most time people's react to your reactions.

Answer 5

Tell her if she wants to go running off with a male friend then she better get used to him.

Answer 6

She might be sleeping with your male friend. Do you trust her? My boyfriend would kill me if I went against him which I never have for 10 years. Please lay down the rules and tell her never to walk out on you. She shows she does not respect you by walking out. Thats scary and crazy. How come she got the guts to walk out? You need to be so angry and strict that she never does this again but please find out if she slept with this male friend.

Answer 7

You have to tell her, not during a argument, how you feel. She is being disrespectful to you and has the "IT'S ALL ABOUT ME " attitude. Put a stop to it now.

Answer 8

sometimes we have to agree to disagree.

and compromise.

maybe you and your wife could sit down and discuss this later, calmly without argument....

it might be important for her to see her sister!

Answer 9

well good for her! I hope she is having a wonderful time! I'm sure her sister is finally happy to see her!

Answer 10

Just sit her down and talk to her face to face and tell her whats wrong and try to help