My husband has some idiosyncrasies that drive me up a wall. We've talked about it, and tried to deal with it, but these things are frustrating and irritating. Sometimes I try to ignore it, but it just builds up. For example, he corrects everything, and I mean EVERYTHING I say, no matter how insignificant. Like yesterday we were just casually talking and I mentioned a store that is a few miles a way. I referred to it as being four miles away. As soon as I said it, he corrects me, "No, it is not four miles away. It is six and one half mile from here." If I say, "Oh, the weather report says it will be sunny" he will say, "Actually, no, the report said that it will start off sunny, but clouds are coming in later so actually it will be a partly cloudy day." Let me add two things, one - I am not perfect either and I know it and admit to it, but it feels like I am constantly being lectured. And two, before you tell me how stupid my question is, let me tell you that it is totally
2007-03-19 04:39:00 · 13 answers · asked by ♦♦pixiechix♦♦ 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
affecting our relationship. I feel like I can't even say anything!!
2007-03-19 04:39:25 · update #1
Well it sound like you married a smart person, with a heavy case of OCD. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. And his knack is correct information. These people will drive you bananas. Both of you need help. A marriage is worth saving, specially if there is kids involved. I would go to a local clinic or hospital. If you have your own private physician, communicate this to him or her and try to get help for him. On the other token you will need to gain some information on how to deal with someone like that.
My two cents... Every time you get corrected, just take the information and say thanks, Don't show any anger or frustration. You may have to understand that that is the way he is. He may not mean any harm. He is just a very smart guy. I know of some Autistic people that are like that. They are Geniuses, but have no social skills (Have no I idea that they are being this way and can't comprehend any other way). If your relation ship has been good and fruitful, save it and help him. I'm sure that this is the way he is every where he goes. Hope this helps. Will.
2007-03-19 05:05:34 · answer #1 · answered by Will M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would start by taking a note everytime this happens. Note the conversation and the date & time. When you have a full sheet of paper filled, tuck it away. Then, wait for the next time it happens for your cue to discuss this habit with your hubby. Tell him how it makes you feel to be constantly corrected. Be civil and do your best to explain your feelings without attacking him. The sheet of paper will come in handy if either of you have a hard time remembering all the times you were corrected. Be sure to tell him the purpose of taking the notes was not to keep a log of wrong-doing, but rather was just a simple way to show him how often he does it. Tell him you love him and want to spend your life building him up, not tearing him down. Tell him that you would want to know if there were something you were doing that made him feel inadequate incompetent. If he says there is, then you need to listen to him as well. Then ask him to consider building you up too. Couples MUST learn to communicate with each other in love and respect if they ever want a long, happy relationship.
2007-03-19 04:54:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband totally used to do this to me! I tried everything...what I foudn worked best was a mix of ignoring what he said and alternating that by saying "As I was saying..." That got the point across for me. I tried talking to him and telling him how I felt disrespected each time he corrected me, but some people just feel the need to feel like they are better than everyone else. By taking that power away from him, he will eventually stop.
2007-03-19 04:53:55 · answer #3 · answered by poohb2878 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's just being a man they are more precise about details when it comes to crap like the weather next time you're in that type of a conversation with him ask him what the weather is going to be or how far the store is etc. then correct him on every thing he says see how he likes it or give him the silent treatment men hate that.
2007-03-19 04:52:25 · answer #4 · answered by bluemist 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't a stupid question at all. I tend to remind people like this that they aren't a teacher and I'm not their student so they can stop lecturing me. Then I thank them for being so perfect. I don't know if sarcasm is the way for you to go.
Frankly, he's enjoying it to some degree. He reminds himself and everyone else how smart he is by correcting everything you say. He's anal (which might be a nice word for it).
You've already talked about it. That didn't last long, it sounds like. So you need to play his own game to demonstrate how he makes you feel. Only then will he understand.
2007-03-19 04:48:08 · answer #5 · answered by JB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why not give him the silent treatment for a while? If you've talked about it & it has solved nothing why don't you just stop speaking to him & see what that does to him. If he is going to correct everything you say.... don't say anything. Then when he asks you why you're not speaking to him tell him exactly why! If he still can't get it through his head perhaps some kind of therapy or conseling would help.
It seems to me like he's got some kind of superiority complex where he knows everything & always has to be right about everything.
2007-03-19 04:46:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to a marriage counselor. There is nothing you can say to him to get him to understand what it is like for you day in and day out to be corrected on any little thing. I would say do the same to him...but it would not help, it would make it worse. Perhaps this isn't the only thing happening in your marriage. Perhaps he is going through something and this is how he is dealing with it.
My ex was like this also. The underlying problem was that he felt guilty because he was cheating on me. He was acting out his guilt by finding faults with me. I am not saying that your husband is cheating, but, like I said before, there maybe a bigger issue here.
Good luck
2007-03-19 04:48:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
holy **** i couldn't deal with that either and if they drive you crazy maybe you should see a therapist together. i don't think you have the problem jeez....either you are going to have learn to live with that or just walk away. i know how it is my ex was like that. that wasn't the reason we split up but it was because i guess i just stopped loving him because of his behavior. i ended up having an affair because of it. this is not stupid but he has to stop or you will eventually meet someone that you feel more comfortable with
2007-03-19 04:58:39 · answer #8 · answered by placidfury 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come up with something silly to say to him whenever he corrects you. Like you could say it's sunny outside and he will say, no, there's actually a cloud there and then you could say DUH or Dork or something funny at him.
After using your funny word several times, he will know what you are doing and why. See if that doesn't help.
Good luck!
2007-03-19 04:43:48 · answer #9 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can totally get what you're saying!
it can probably get really annoying to live with those annoying habit day in and day out.You can possibly try showing him thAT HIS corrections are COMPLETELY unappreciated and that you're not even listening to him.
whatver the outcome, cheerz and goodluck!
2007-03-19 04:47:06 · answer #10 · answered by αd ισι♪ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋