Why do women think that marriage is commitment?

Question

Marriage would be commitment if divorce were out of the question. Since any marriage can end overnight, marriage is NOT commitment.

Answer 1

I was going to say, a marriage is by definition a commitment to our spouse.

When the feelings fade, it is that commitment that keeps a marriage together.

All it takes is for one partner to no longer take his or her commitment seriously for the marriage to end.

This is NOT a gender issue, it's a values issue.

There are just as many unfaithful, uncommitted women as men out there wrecking marriages.

Answer 2

Marriage is most definately a commitment. Yes, many are ending in divorce these days, which may make it seem that marriage is not a commitment.

I have been married twice, and I can assure you that it was a commitment both times. My first marriage took about 1 year to plan and have, 2 years trying to save it, and 1.5 years for the divorce to be finalized. It was not pretty, it was not fun, nor was it easy.

Divorce is not an overnight thing, it takes many times more than a year to be finalized, as well as can be quite expensive. Most people don't enter into marriage planning for it to end in divorce.

Relationships can end overnight, but marriages take a commitment the whole time.

Answer 3

I disagree. My wife and I both believed that marriage was a commitment if it is entered into by two caring, honest, and faithful people. The failure of commitment is due to the lack of integrity in people. Remember that commitment is not based on marriage it's the other way around. That's why there are so many divorces. Just because two people have their signatures on a marriage license it doesn't mean they are committed to staying married. If the commitment isn't there to begin with it is doomed from the start.

And by the way you may have picked up my answer written in past tense. I carried my wedding vows to the end to love, honor, and cherish until death she did part. There are many of us that still believe in loving someone to the end of their life and beyond.

Answer 4

I think that you're confusing commitment with a commercial contract. It's not. Marriage is commitment to God and the community that they'll be loyal to the other and love the other until they are seperated by death. It should be and often is a binding agreement.

However, in this day and age of disposable everything, some people think that their spouses and families are disposable also. It's too easy to just give up when things get tough. People often don't want to work it out and try and talk things through. It's just easier to walk away.

I don't beleive in that but it's fairly common in this day and age. Still, there are a lot of people that can and do stick it out. I'm one of them.

So, I don't think your original premise is entirely accurate. Keep the faith!

Answer 5

YES, I like your way of thinking Richard....The commitment should've been there in the beginning and then came the marriage license.

The marriage license is actually a commitment between the two of you and the state. Then the divorce is the makin of the license nell and void between the 'three of you'. This is why I think the act of divorce is rough on a guy w/ the give me half deal. In order to make the guy(s) think harder about gettin the divorce.

Answer 6

That is exactly how I feel...I don't see why we have to get married. All marriage does is prove to the people around you that you love that person or reassure the person you're with that you'll never leave them. I don't need people to recognize I'm in love or a piece of paper to tell me I want to spend the rest of my life with a certain person and if my guy isn't sure that I love him then maybe he should re-evaluate whether he wants to be with me...I have a mind of my own and can decide those feelings without anything or anyone telling me how committed I am. In my case, I don't know why men think that marriage is a commitment....I also don't see why religions get angry when people divorce. I mean if it wasn't meant to be it wasn't meant to be. Why live unhappy the rest of your life? Great question by the way!

Answer 7

marriage is a commitment and its also a promise that is made in front of friends and God. Marriage is also a contract, most people marry for the wrong reasons, and that is why divorce is so popular, to me marriage is sacred and should never be taken lightly, or with the thoughts that there is divorce available. marriage is for life and should be that way

Answer 8

Maybe you should ask the cheaters and liars of the world why they enter into marriage and agree to vows they have no intention of following.

Marriage IS commitment - just few take it for the serious union that it is...

And ask anyone that's divorced - marriage DOES NOT end overnight!

Answer 9

One reason women consider marriage to be a commitment is found in the words of the wedding ceremony.
For better, for worse
For richer, for poorer
In sickness and in health
Keep you only unto me so long as we both shall live.
What God has joined together, let no one put asunder.

Divorce is the ultimate commitment broken!!

Answer 10

I don't know how you concocted that little piece of fallacious logic, but commitment is a concept much larger than you envision it.

What has to happen before people even consider marriage is that they have to have a solid, emotionally mature RELATIONSHIP.

Some of the key elements of a successful relationship - married or otherwise - are:

1) A long list of common interests; things you both enjoy doing TOGETHER as opposed to separate interests and separate groups of friends.

2) A lot of tolerance for each other's differences. As much as you share in common, you're still going to rub one another wrong from time to time. Be mature and deal with it. Separate the small $h!t from the serious stuff.

3) A sense of compromise; so that you can work out your problems with a minimum of emotional trauma. It's marital negotiation.

4) A sense of sympathy and forgiveness. You're both going to screw up on occasion. You need to be able to forgive, forget, and move on with the relationship.

You also have to have discussed all the issues that are important to you both: sex, children, money, careers, religion, philosophies, politics, etc.

Alright...when you get to this point, we can talk about commitment.

This means that you consider yourself a team; you intend to stand by one another through thick and thin and cover each other's backs. You're not going to get that from a marriage license.

Any kind of contract - social or business - is no better than one's WORD. If you word is no good, a piece of paper means nothing.

For someone who understands, the definition of commitment also encompasses things like punctuality (being on time), dedication (to a job or task), discipline (sticking to a task, organization).

I hope I have helped you better understand the ideas of marriage and "commitment."