my boyfriend is older than me and has already got 2 children , my family doesnt know that he has kids .i really want to have a child with him in the future but really dont want my family to find out that i have lied to them etc...what should i do.i really love him and we both want children.help....
2007-03-19 04:19:28 · 14 answers · asked by Mal S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i'm not planning on having children yet DONNA and i only askied for some advice not to hear your insults, but thanx anyway
2007-03-19 04:30:14 · update #1
Is he a good dad to his children? Does he see them, spend time with them, help out financially? You don't say how old you are, but if you're worried about the reaction from your family, I'd suggest you tell them. Your family will find out, anyway, if you & he are going to have a future
2007-03-19 11:01:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I reckon the best advice anyone could give would be to come clean with your family and explain WHY you lied in the first place. If you intend to have children together in the future you will be well advised to keep family on your side. You may well need their help.
If the reason you didn't tell them is because of your boyfriend's treatment of his children, then perhaps you might want to reconsider having some of your own? Think it through....
Good luck!
2007-03-19 05:11:06 · answer #2 · answered by Sue A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
since you aren't married to each other then don't think about children till you're engaged and ready to be married. In the meantime never lie to your parents as you will need them in the future, you will need them on your side. Depends on your religion. Some religions don't want people to marry a divorced person, or they will if the person's situation has been properly reviewed by their church. You'll need to find that out. Need to find out what's important in this guy's life and what's important for his children's needs. When you have a child together you'll still be needing to rear his children in your home and their needs would be important, so although you both want a child together it's better to wait till you have things under control in his home and with his children and with their program before you attempt to have children.
2007-03-19 04:28:22 · answer #3 · answered by sophieb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should grow up a little more before you think about having children. there is NO reason to lie about his children. if you aren't able to tell your family even the most basic info about your bf then you ARE NOT ready for children. personally, i don't feel you are ready for marriage if you are exhibiting this type of underhanded behavior.
I'm sorry to say this so harshly, but there are enough children in the world with parents that should not be parents.
2007-03-19 04:28:46 · answer #4 · answered by Donna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First - you don't state the age difference or length of your relationship. Second - have your parents met him and liked him? Third - what's your relationship with your parents like? Fourth - is he a good daddy and exhusband (or exboyfriend-whichever applies)? Fifth - what's your bf say about this subject?
Big age difference - careful (not relavent to your question though). If the answer to #4 is good, then be honest with your parents and stand strong with him. If your parents are good people, they will accept the situation. It could be a wonderful blessing to them and the children. If the answer to #4 is not so good, back up. Stop. Step away. RUN LIKE HELL!!
2007-03-19 04:39:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
eventually you will have to come clean about his other children if you plan on maintaining a relationship with him in the future and having a child with him, you parents need to know the truth before hand so that there will be no surprises if you get get engaged to him now or in the near future....
2007-03-19 05:40:58 · answer #6 · answered by MidnightSkies 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is the best policy and do you think you should have kids - how is he with the 2 he already has? What about marriage first, if he wants a future and kids with you then talk about marriage - you wont see him for dust.
2007-03-19 04:25:42 · answer #7 · answered by Jackie M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think you know what to do. tell your family this because when the day comes your children have the right to know they have half sister or brothers. i hope this helps good luck
2007-03-19 05:51:28 · answer #8 · answered by lady z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't lie your family 4ever... after or before they will know...
so, in a sunny day you can make a pic nic with your family and your boyfriend and tell them that your bf has 2 children... and... tell them also the truth: u want their happiness!!!!!
2007-03-19 04:38:19 · answer #9 · answered by scatto 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those kids will become your kids if you get married. Are you going to lie about your kids? Think about it. Those will be their grand kids. This will be a big mistake.
2007-03-19 04:24:32 · answer #10 · answered by Solar Ball 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋