I have a so called friend, so-called because she only calls me when she wants something.
She will 'one ring' my phone and expect me to call her back.. when I do... it is her doing all the talking, when I talk about myself or what is going on with me, she has to go.
She earns £20K a year, has a house and car, but dont have a computer, she is in a long distance relationship with someone and called me to read the email out to her over the phone, this was while I was getting ready for work.
The other day, she called me at work, and I got into trouble with the manager because the phone vibrated.
I have not responded to her texts or phone calls in over a week.
I dont want to change my number as it will cause problems with other mates and family that I have
Any advice?
2007-03-19 04:13:15 · 13 answers · asked by Rebz 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Tell her to bug off....
2007-03-19 04:17:44 · answer #1 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Use your name sake and be Brutally honest with her!
friendship is a 2 way thing and she's not meeting you in the middle and sounds like a very selfish madam!
As for having to read her emails out to her, knock that on the head as well, tell her there's plenty of Internet Cafes about and most of them only charge £2 per hour, the cheap skate.
Dont change your number either, this so called friend has got to realise that your whole world doesn't revolve around her and your not going to jump every time she calls!
The more you give into this selfish little madams demands the more she'll keep pushing you, tell her politely but FIRMLY you are not her personal Secretary and she needs to be more flexible with the friendship instead of doing all the taking!
2007-03-19 11:15:58 · answer #2 · answered by The Original Highbury Gal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say, be honest with her. It seems as though she doesn't have any time for friends right now. A job that makes 20,000 pounds a year will probably require quite a bit of time invested. Also, a long distance relationship (I know because I have been in one) is time consuming because you can talk on the phone with someone and you can't really multi-task that with anything else. The desire to devote the time talking to them to just them can be overwhelming.
The fact that she is calling you to read these emails from this guy and talks only about herself is due to he being insecure, and requiring validation, the fact that your opinion matters to her enough shows that she does care about what you feel, but her life is not in order enough to contribute anything.
My advice? Be open and understanding to her situation, but you do not have to be in her life if you find it overwhelming. Take her in small doses when you can, and don't worry if she gets mad at you for not getting back to her. Eventually she will come to understand (hopefully) that she can't focus on her self completely and expect to keep people around. A step further would be to tell her exactly how you feel (assuming you haven't yet), I mean, the relationship can't get much worse right now, can it?
2007-03-19 04:24:42 · answer #3 · answered by James L 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just keep on ignoring her and she should get the message. If she confronts you about it then you will have to firmly tell her that you think the friendship is one sided and that you arn'et into those kind of friendships. She is a very selfish person and dosen't know how to treat people with respect.
2007-03-19 04:27:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mail her a letter or text message her tell her what you said up above, tell her if things do not change you can not be friends with her anymore. She is using you and getting you in trouble at work and stop taking her e_mails get a new one!
2007-03-19 04:23:27 · answer #5 · answered by curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought all this stopped once you left school and didn't have to meet in the playground!!!....GROW UP and MOVE ON!!! You say you have a job well now is the time to start living , leave the rejects behind and make a life for YOU!!!!!! with people who want to be with you and NOT USE YOU
2007-03-19 04:22:22 · answer #6 · answered by kbw 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Explain to her what boundaries are and see whether she has actually realised what she has been doing. If she is totally unrepentant then drop her like a hot cake because she is nothing more than a user
2007-03-19 07:50:58 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Claire - Hates Bigotry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this women feels that she has power over you by acting this selfish way
just ignore her calls she will soon get the message
you will not be able to have a proper relationship as she only knows how to abuse you
2007-03-19 06:47:02 · answer #8 · answered by D D 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ignore her calls like u have been doin
she ll go away eventually
shes got some nerve
expecting u to all her back all the time
2007-03-19 04:26:59 · answer #9 · answered by me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are doing the right thing in ignoring her but if that does not work perhaps you should try talking to her.
2007-03-19 08:29:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's to busy to listen to what's going on in your life then maybe you should be to busy to listen to her life.
Friendships are about give and take. Looks like you are doing all the giving though...
2007-03-19 04:23:12 · answer #11 · answered by Thrill K 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋