I've met this guy last summer back in my country and saw him only three times (my best friend knows him very well)
We fell in love and decided to be together in a long distance relationship 2 years until I graduate and come back (now I'm in the USA)
A year passed and everything was fine, all of a sudden he broke up.
When I met him he was a regular guy then he changed he started looking for a better job and was working 8 - 16 hours a day to save money and be financially independent so we can get married
By the way we're both 20 years old.
Happens that as he said he found out making money was not as easy as he thought he is...
He is all depressed and he said he wants to break up and told me (if some good guy asks you for marriage marry him) , I'm back at zero now, I will not be capable of offring you a decent life. I know that you would stand by my side but don't want you to think of a solution for my problem. etc...
does this sound logic to u?
2007-03-19 04:04:59 · 29 answers · asked by leave me alone 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Making money is not that easy. But if he wanted to be serious about the relationship, he would stick it through. To be honest with you, whatever is on his mind, is his issues....if you feel that you can't get straight feelings and answers, it will not get any better, so you should move on, you only get a few chances in this world to meet a person that can make you happy...money doesn't make people happy, but it sure provide a lot of things that will help.....be smart and follow part of your brain, not just your heart...he is telling you he can't support you so in the future if you decide to say anything, he will remind you with that statement.
Good luck
2007-03-27 00:12:48 · answer #1 · answered by Ariana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the stresses of having a long distance relationship got to him. He is trying to let you down gently. He's not going to get real support from you because in a long distance relationship, all you can do is talk, talk, talk. That is good sometimes but not when someone is going through a crisis (job, family, health crisis - they all can happen).
Tell him that if he can hang on just until you get back, you two can start over. Don't even think about things being the way they were - truly try to start over when you get back to your country and him.
This gives him a goal and a reason to wait. It also takes the pressure off him for awhile. But on your side, there will be some uncertainty until you can return to your country. You'll just have to deal with that uncertainty and insecurity. Long distance relationships are very very difficult.
2007-03-23 20:23:50 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first question i put on here was about how growing up makes everything so complicated and how i have this wonderful girl who is ready to follow me where ever i lead her, but i felt (and still do sometimes) that i was going to lead her on a bumpy hard road that I didn't even know where it was going to lead. Like me, it also sounds like he was trying really hard and thought he was headed in the right direction, but fell on his face. Failure is hard for most people but extremely hard for a guy, more so when it comes to financial securities. It is something most societies view as a responsibility that a man should provide. It sounds to me like he has alot of doubt about himself and whether he can offer you a good life, so he doesn't want to drag you down with him. If this is the case, you just need to be supportive and make sure he knows that you still care for him and want to be with him, and as for the kind of life you two may or may not have together.... well you should have a say in that.
One of the answer had this story in it as a little inspiration, maybe it will do the same for your boyfriend.... clipped an article from the newspaper, it was about a couple who had been together for like 65-70 years or something, he was 17 and she was 14 when they got married, he was a dishwasher, she was a waitress and their first rental/place they shoved newspapers in the walls for insulation and their baby slept between them during the winter...as this was in Idaho and that is cold, cold country. Any way, here they were 65-70 years later, raised their kids, lived a life and coming too the end.
If you would like to talk more you can IM me.
2007-03-19 04:28:26 · answer #3 · answered by Smurfy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depending on the country you are from....it is viewed in some at least...that a man is of no worth if he can not provide for his future wife...some are even required to provide gifts to the brides families in essence to demostrate there ability to provide for there daughter. No I do not know this man or even which country you two are from...but if this is the case he may not feel as though he has lived up to his obligations to be able to provide for you....if this is not true for your country then I would have to agree with several other that he is trying to let you down easy and this was a very poor excuse...but many people get married without a penny to their names and seem to make it...good luck
2007-03-24 15:39:14 · answer #4 · answered by Dennis J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's an excuse. He wants to break up and doesn't know how so he's using the "I'm not good enough for you" line. He probably met someone else. Don't feel too bad, though, it is very, very hard to maintain a long distance relationship. Especially so long distance that you are in different countries.
2007-03-19 04:10:13 · answer #5 · answered by Lotus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it happens in men. Yes, he could be bummed about the whole financial situation and feels he isn't good enough for you. Alot of guys still feel that the man is suppose to take care of the woman. He might feel that if he is having a hard time making money, you will think less of him?? Give him some time and if your love is true- it will work out.
2007-03-19 04:24:51 · answer #6 · answered by pabasket 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi Sara , am Adam from Egypt , i love a girl too she is too far away from me , i wanna marry her i do want that , but i can't find a decent Job yet , and i have nothing at all , she always makes me feel good trying to help me with her love and care and it works for a while , but i dunno what to do , i love her to death i really do i swear , maybe one day I'll just let her go , cuz i won't be able to live with her in a good living standard ,am so depressed , and i want her too much , but what can i do , you know it's not Us the men it's the problems around us , this guy is the best one you ever knew , he doesn't want to use you , he simply tills you the truth , that it's hard for both of you to be together
2007-03-24 15:38:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many men think this way. He will get over it. You did not say what country the two of you are from, but it sounds like India. I had a friend from there and he thought the same way. If he truly loves you, he will reconsider. Hang in there and see what happens. Good luck.
2007-03-26 15:12:19 · answer #8 · answered by freedomrings 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely! Some men have such strong self-preservation instincts, that they need everything in life sorted out before they feel responsible enough to marry and have a family. In his case, after all his work, he failed ... and feels unworthy of you. He sounds very noble to me.
I know the feeling all to well, and it was a woman who taught me about unconditional love. I'd still be stuck if it weren't for her.
2007-03-24 02:18:05 · answer #9 · answered by Sultan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do is to tell him that he can do any thing he puts his mind to but it takes hard work and making mistakes to get some where in life . Then let him call you but if he don't you have to move on . There's a saying you can bring a horse to water but you can't make it drink .....god bless you and good luck....
2007-03-24 05:20:51 · answer #10 · answered by shellie g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋