If you are in any relationship with a person and they are taking more than giving, should you keep giving hoping that one day you;ll get your blessings back and just being able to say you were the bigger person. Or, should I treat them the way they treat me. How can you tell when to use what tactics with who?
2007-03-19 04:02:14 · 13 answers · asked by vivs043 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Neither. If you are unhappy in a relationship because you think the other person's acting unfairly, it's probably not wise to either continue on giving (making yourself a martyr) or trying to get back at them by giving as good as you get (an unpleasantly passive-agressive tactic). Talk to them about their behavior and tell them why you feel you aren't being treated well, and see if they are willing to change. If they are, then you don't have to figure out how to deal with it. If they're not, then you need to get out of the bad relationship.
2007-03-19 04:25:09 · answer #1 · answered by stmichaeldet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on whether they are taking only because actually need help or it's just a personality flaw. If they are sick, poor, etc., then you are being a good person. But if you are talking about a relationship where you do all the work, and the person just takes advantage of you, then you either have to confront the problem to change it, or lose the relationship, but lowering yourself to somebody else's level is not good for anyone, you especially. Just end it. Better to lose the relationship than your self-respect.
2007-03-19 11:08:21 · answer #2 · answered by lawmom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you have to look at yourself and ask yourself the question, Do I want to be like that? If your answer is no then maybe it time to move on. As painful as you might think it may be, its clear that you are a better person and you deserve someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Don't lower yourself for anyone, you will get more respect for sticking to your standards than lowering yourself to others.
2007-03-19 11:44:58 · answer #3 · answered by tami m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are givers and some are takers-in love and life...it's easy for the giver to be taken advantage of, but you must remember that just because you're a giving person does not mean you have to be a doormat for someone else. If you're involved with someone and you feel you're always on teh giving end, there's something wrong with that. You're being used, and that's just not ok.
2007-03-19 11:07:51 · answer #4 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends on whether you want to keep being used or not. Also, being used is a form of abuse. Those who tell you to be forgiving are usually the same ones doing the using. I dont believe that your a better person from being used and/or abused.
2007-03-19 11:10:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your in a relationship like this, you may as well end it.
It's not about who's the bigger or better person its about give & take.
If your not both giving your fair share then it is useless.
Find someone that will give you 100%.
2007-03-19 11:08:22 · answer #6 · answered by earthangel_candy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO. I think if the relationship isnt equal, and the other person refuses to change... Its time to let go and move on. I dont think you should lower yourself to act like they act. That would make you a lesser person.... However, I think its just time to let go if they wont change. Good luck
2007-03-19 11:07:28 · answer #7 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Manipulation never works....either you are free to be yourself or you need to move on....soooo....what I am saying....you need to be able to fully love....because you are being fully loved back....if not....it probably isn't going to work. I am assuming you have talked with this person about these concerns....so at least they have have the choice to step it up...Good luck.
2007-03-19 11:08:14 · answer #8 · answered by ticklemeblue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i will fight the way i know how. for as long as i am not hurting anybody and i am not stepping on other's shoes, then i am
at peace with the world.
2007-03-19 11:08:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
babe it really depends... if you feel like you are giving then u are giving, if you feel like your are making compramises then you are making that. If you feel like you are doing this because u love the person then that is what you are doing and all of sudden it does nto feel like giving right?
2007-03-19 11:07:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋