Why do some people seem to think that everything is about getting a man?

Question

I mean, I'm single and I have no desire to be with anyone right now. But people are always telling me things like, "oh don't play all those video games, men don't like it" or "do this, it'll drive the men crazy". When I meet a guy, I think of what kind of friend he'll be, not what kind of boyfriend. But when I'm out they'll try to find out if I'm single. If I tell them yes, then they'll assume that I'm looking. If I wear a tanktop or a skirt or whatever, they'll think I'm dressing for them when maybe it's just hot outside.
I know how conceited that sounds, but it's the truth and I hate it! Why do certain people seem to think that EVERYTHING is about getting a man? It'd be nice to have a boyfriend someday but it's the last thing on my mind. It's so animalistic to me.

Answer 1

I think you have a pretty good attitude. Life shouldn't be about finding a man (or a woman). It should be about finding people who share our feelings and goals.

Answer 2

Well it is funny and sometimes annoying, but the truth is as we know, that is our human instinct, to find someone to marry, grow old with but of course have a family/reproduce. It's not that animalistic as it seems because even though animals do the similar thing humans are above that and we have evolved into our own civilized way. Just to add in, what is more animalistic would be a lot of what's going on in todays movies or TV shows! How tacky!

Anyways, don't blame those people for being so concerned about you and your relationship status. But there is nothing wrong with not wanting a relationship at the moment.

Answer 3

Being single is a blessing and gift from the Lord. Dont let anyone annoy you into defending your position or thinking contrary to what you believe. You are wasting energy that could be directed in other beneficial ways. Please believe, your lifestyle is intimidating to those who haven't learned what you have and may not have to strength to endure its' costs. You have taken a leadership position (b/c being single and HAPPY is a STRUGGLE for most women AND men), and you will lead as a mighty example. Be steadfast in what you do, even when you're tempted otherwise; eventually the haters will fall away.

Having friends is wonderful. Always nice to have a guy to watch a football game with, hang out with at a concert or change your oil, or play NBA Live with. And when the real deal comes, you wont be satisfied with a "boy" anything! Trust me, they'll all (the boys) fall away when you focus on you and what makes you happy.

Light may attract darkness but the two cannot coexist.

Answer 4

You don't need to be in a hurry to get a man. Yes, treat them as a friend first. GEt to know one's character. But there is something you need to understand about men. Regardless of what you think, regardless of the way WE want it to be, men will look at a woman because that is the way they are wired ! And YES, a lot of men think a girl/woman is looking for a man's relationship by the way she dresses. The skimpier the clothing, the more the men will look. GOOD men will look away, but they may find it hard to do when a girl/woman flaunts herself before his eyes. So don't dress like an invitation and keep enjoying your singleness until you find your special person. (Skirts are not an open invitation unless they are short and tight and slit.) ALSO a good man would verify what I'm saying, if you know one.

Answer 5

Just do whatever you feel is the best for you. I know it sounds stupid, but it's true. If you don't conform to what society at large does, people are always going to give you some advice. But really, if you don't feel like having a boyfriend, don't get one! I personally like to have a boyfriend, but I never look for one: it just happens!

And I usually wear baggys, but in the summer, I often wear tank tops and skirts (I'm also becoming more feminine as I get older, actually!), and when men look at me or whistle (I'm from the South of Fance, where men love to imitate birds when you wear a skirt!!!), I just ignore them! It's their right to do it, but it's also my right to ignore them! And I can be pretty cold when I'm not interested.

So, don't worry! Do whatever pleases you!

Answer 6

Your right. Everyone seems to want you to hurry up with your love life. I don't want to rush anything. I'd like to enjoy living in the moment. I don't have a boyfriend and to tell the truth I've never had one and when people find that out they give me those looks that are so condescending. I hate it. I'll date when I'm ready and not before. I wish they'd get off my back about it. It's like they're saying " Poor thing, she must be so miserable." Well, I'm not. I mean, yeah, It'd be nice to have someone to go out with once in a while but I don't need that.

Answer 7

You are obviously not into having a guy yet. Good for you. If your friends are so small minded that is their problem not yours. Any man worth his salt likes a woman who is sure of herself and you sound like you are fairly self confident. This pressure to have a partner all the time is unhealthy for our young people. They never develop a sense of self this way and get into a series of meaningless hook ups rather than a serious permanent relationship.

Live your life now on your own terms and just let your friends' words slide off your back. However, remember when you are out in a little tank and a mini, boys do not look at you like a friend. It is the nature of the beast to look at the breast.

EVERYTHING is not about getting a man. However, please remember that LIFE is about being a woman to a man in a family situation at some point. Ship's Mate to a Captain sort of thing. At some point a woman and man settle into a family routine. Society is making this almost impossible and "hopelessly old fashioned" but we are all paying cruelly for women working out side of the home in such large numbers.

Remember also, when you are NOT looking, that is when they crawl out of the woodwork and like a woman who is not "on the prowl".

Someday, Insh'allah, you will meet the right man at the right time and your attitude will change. That is as it should be. But for now, you are smart keeping your body to yourself. It shows you have a sense of self and value your person. Your body and your soul are too precious to give away casually to the just anyone.

You are on the right track. Just be yourself. I think you are doing great. Just don't be quite so angry about things, it is not worth getting hot about.

Answer 8

I grew up being told crap such as that & if anything it's made me so independant.....I've been determined that I can go it alone if I want to. I have done so.....it's kinda sad really to see that many men & women will be with anyone rather than be with themselves......

Yes! You're right, so many guys really think we dress just so they can look....okaaaaay!

We live in a world where nearly every song, nearly every film & nearly every bloody womens magazine focuses on a woman catching her man so I guess that also influences the way a lot think too.....

Just listen to that crap on the answer above me....if you feel the way you do....it's because you don't have a guy. oh pleeeeeese, it's rubbish babe, ignore it, I feel as you but I'm married.....

keep the attitude you have sugar.....Although I'm happily married I've always felt......I'm not alone, I've got me.........

Answer 9

yeah, it seems that women are so objectified that if they are single, this is somehow bad to the rest of society. It's like a woman needs a man to be complete or something, which is why people are saying things like: "don't do this, a man won't like that." But you and I both know that if a guy doesn't like something, he can just get bent. So, bravo, chickadee, for standing your ground that you just want to have fun and you going to be your own individual self.

Answer 10

Live how you want to live and tell other people to butt out. I've never understood why so many people want to live everyone else's life for them. I'm busy enough with my own. lol

As for the video games, most guys I know would love to be able to talk video games with a woman.

Answer 11

I understand. It isn't that you can't 'get' a man, its just that the right man hasn't appeared on the scene. It took me a while to find a gentleman. If I may quote a lovely old song... "I want a Sunday kind of love, a love that lasts past Saturday night." It took a few years but I finally met my Sunday love. So if your friends try to press the issue, just tell them that. "I'm looking, but I want a Sunday kind of love."