I have just moved into my new house.I have been with my boyfriend for two years.he wants me to move in with him.I told him to give me two years them i will.But he is very low,saying i dont love him.He doesnt understand i need my own space.what eles can i tell him to make him believe that i will move in.Help.
2007-03-19 03:52:12 · 22 answers · asked by angela c 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think all you really can or should do is tell him your plans, explain your reasoning if you want to and then leave it at that. He has an obligation to meet you at least half way on this by trusting you, and taking you at your word. You said two years. I can understand if he expresses that he wishes it would be sooner, but he shouldn't be trying to manipulate you or give you a hard time about it. Now if two years comes and goes and you still haven't moved THEN he would be justified in asking you why, etc. Good luck. I hope he comes around for you.
2007-03-19 03:57:31 · answer #1 · answered by danl747 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I've been in these shoes twice. I definately would give him the two years to wait. He's obvioiusly in a hurry for all kinds of reasons, not to mention emotional blackmail when he says to you "you don't love me" type of thing. Congrats for buying a new home on your own! I was engaged to someone last year who was like that...we were only together for five months! I finally realized that he was an emotional blackmailer, and couldn't wait for me to move in, and he got nasty when I told him I wanted to wait.He wanted me to be with him as "an employee" meaning, to help with his kids, his house and help pay off his huge debt. I broke it off with him with no regrets. I tried again to use the emotional blackmail, I gave the ring back. I'm in a wonderful relationship now though =)
Do what YOU want and what makes you feel comfortable. If it's "meant to be, it will be".I would feel more stifled if someone was pushing me to do something I wasn't ready yet on.
2007-03-19 11:10:03 · answer #2 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't have to move in to prove that you love him. if he loves you he should understand. best guessing that you might not make it for too more years if he can't understand you right now. you need to tell him how you really feel about this rather than tell him i just can't do it because of this and that . instead atlist try to spend the weekends with him...... see how that works for both. in a relationship you sometimes have to compromise but not everything. talk to him about something that will work for both. if he can't seem to understand or agree with you than he has a problem not you. a person who cares try's... a person who's smart and worthy only takes a certain limit... theirs only so much you can do..
2007-03-19 11:00:57 · answer #3 · answered by gina g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, boys will be boys. If he truly loves you then he should respect your decision. It's not like you're breaking up with him, you just need to let him understand how you feel. I don't think that your guy is that thick that he won't be able to understand you. Tell him that you don't want to rush into things. Haste makes waste, remember that.
2007-03-19 11:00:00 · answer #4 · answered by pbalingit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know for sure that you want to move in with him why would you need to wait 2 years?
I am not picking on you but it had to be said.
If you need your space then that is fine he will have to understand especially as you have just moved into your own house.
tell him your plans and that you wont be made to feel guilty for valuing your own time and space.
If he cant take it dump him
2007-03-19 10:58:47 · answer #5 · answered by laplandfan 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am kind of having the same problem with my girlfriend, we have not been dating aslong as you, but ever since we started she has spoken about not being able to afford to get on the Housing Market, and now she has hinted how great it would be to move in with me, but like you I need my space.
I have tried to explain that one day, she can move in but she wants to know when!
2007-03-19 10:59:18 · answer #6 · answered by Loader2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him if he loves you he will not pressure you to do something you are not ready for. If you just moved that seems like a pretty bad time to do it again. Living together does change a relationship, make sure you are ready before you do!
2007-03-19 10:57:11 · answer #7 · answered by . 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not move in. Sounds like your boyfriend has a problem.
Run as fast as you can. His whining and trying to make you feel guilty for not complying with his wishes are the early stages of abuse. Abuse is about control of another and it escalates as time goes on.
2007-03-19 11:08:20 · answer #8 · answered by TURBOSC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that nothing you say will make him understand. You could try a compromise and tell him that he can stay with you for a few days and you can stay in his house for a few days that way you have the best of both worlds.
2007-03-19 11:00:44 · answer #9 · answered by Pearl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its very difficult to understand for him, he feels low and unloved. i assume he is around alot of the time anyways, so the best way to explain this to him is that it gives you something to look forward to when he stays over, or you stay over.. keeps the romance alive i suppose rather than getting into a mr & mrs routine. see if that helps
2007-03-19 10:56:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋