You don't have to be a swinger to answer this, but if you are just going to berate or insult us please don't bother.
To make it short, my husband is much more like Ken then I am like Barbie. He is in shape, muscular, and the girls like him a lot. I am overweight and although my husband tells me and does everything I could possibly ask to reassure me I don't feel very sexy.
The problem is that the girls that are most likely to approach him are the Barbie type and their husbands aren't really interested in me. The not-so-Barbie type are intimidated by him and we don't get anywhere with them usually.
My husband is wonderful and doesn't demand Barbies - doesn't even ask for them - he does as much to make me comfortable as he could.
When I get attention from the guys (usually not Ken-type) their wives are then scared of my husband and feel that he wouldn't want them.
Anyone have a good suggestion? Other than me losing the weight? (working on it)
2007-03-19 03:38:14 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Thing is you know what you are looking for in another couple so you have to approach the right one, you said the Barbie type goes to your husband but if you go to the kind you want first things would work out, and you can get one person at a time aswell just a guy or gal then you and your husband enjoy each other more and still have the extra person....
2007-03-19 03:43:23 · answer #1 · answered by (",) JJ (,") 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not a swinger here but have you talked about this with your husband??
Maybe when he sees that you are getting interest from a not so ken type then he could show some heavy interest in the not so barbie type, just to reassure them they he is interested even if they arent barbie like.
Now im confused hehehehe
Good luck
2007-03-19 10:46:05 · answer #2 · answered by missy m 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, bad heading to put this under..lol. But, to be honest, you do not have a unique problem. Especially as we get older, women have a harder time being a "barbie". Men who are "kens" to begin with tend to stay that way for a while. You just have to look around a little more. Check into swingers conventions. Lots and lots of different people there. You will find that there are a lot of people like yourself. It makes you human:) Besides, there are a lot of "barbie"s who actually don't have a "ken" type husband and they are very happy. You will find them. Don't give up. And good luck on losing the weight. It's tough!
2007-03-19 10:51:03 · answer #3 · answered by Shawn 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I have no idea why you aren't asking this question in a heterosexual forum, but since you seem to think you will find an answer in the gay, lesbian, bi, transgendered forum, then I'll be glad to provide it.
My guess is that this is all in your head. I find it doubtful that you have actually sat down and discussed with these people why they are not attracted to you or why they are afraid of your husband. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but if you put yourself out there like there is something wrong with you, then you are going to get what you ask for. My guess is its more about personality than body image. I would change your attitude and see what happens. As long as you hate yourself, no one is going to be attracted to you. Fat women can be beautiful and sexy, get a makeover and start walking and exercising while you are losing weight. Tone makes all the difference in the world and you have no guarantee's that your weight loss will be successful.
2007-03-19 11:14:54 · answer #4 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first off your asking a bunch of gays, bisexuals and lesbians. Do women always have to talk to people in these groups? haha. But anyways. I'm not sure there lady. It seems that he loves you for you. He keeps fit and stays good looking for you. Maybe you should try really hard to get in shape for him. It will make your sexual life better also. I know its not the answer you wanted but I see he has so much respect and love for you it only seems fit to return the favor by trying to look ultra sexy/fit (in your eyes not his) for him.
Swinging is dangerous though and can show how little of a relationship you really have with your husband though. I just thought I would tell you.
2007-03-19 10:43:36 · answer #5 · answered by Some Random Guy 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I guess I just don't get why your "Ken" of a husband is not enough for you. There must be something lacking in all of your lives, and self-respect may be high on the list of needs for you and the other wives who's husbands are seeking Barbie doll partners.
2007-03-19 10:45:53 · answer #6 · answered by Belle 5 · 2⤊ 3⤋
this question is baffling. i would think that swingers would not have inhibitions about appearance. everyone knows how this game is played. just go about your routine, if hubby finds a female whose husband is a willing participant, go with it. if not, move on to the next one. i don't know the ettiquette for this activity, but it's apparent that sharing is the rule. if your husband is comfortable with you, that's all that matters. if the couples you wind up with have apprehensions, that is their problem, not yours. these other couples know the game, if they don't want to play, the heck with them. your self confidence needs some bolstering, and i don't think this is going to help. i think you need to work on yourself mentally (self confidence) more than physically.
2007-03-19 10:53:00 · answer #7 · answered by gonzo 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
get out of the swingers thing an be happy with ur husband
2007-03-19 10:58:22 · answer #8 · answered by Chocolit B 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't ask me. My sisters Ken doll and my GI Joe used to get naked and into all kinds of crazy positions. Its amazing what a kid can do with magic markers and elastics. Chaps and whips, hoo hah!
2007-03-19 10:44:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
i suggest you quit this immoral behavior, quit the sins, focus more on your family and husband instead of racking up sin. If you have free time on your hands, instead of sinning, go donate to charity, read to the blind, collect food and clothing for the 3rd world or poor areas in your country.
2007-03-19 10:42:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 5⤋