My husband and I love each other very much and are VERY happy together. We have both had jealousy issues...you know the whole fear of losing thing.
My problem is that I am looking for a job. We desperatly need me to be working immediatly, but any time I bring up my working any job that would put me working with the general public and possibly having contact with men he get's upset. He basically wants me to work in a preschool or nursing home...but we can't just sit and wait for that. Any suggestions?
2007-03-19 03:14:35 · 28 answers · asked by ? 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Let me add a little info....He is not afraid of me having an affair or leaving him. It is not your normal jealousy. It bothers him to know that men are or might be hitting on me.
2007-03-19 04:08:01 · update #1
LET HIM LOOK FOR A JOB OF HIS HEART DESIRE FOR YOU.
2007-03-19 03:19:15 · answer #1 · answered by Kwadwo B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its good youre very much in love with each other though I personally cant understand how that can be when hes so dominating and controlling that he cant even allow you to encounter men. I think he needs some help and you need to get a job all at the same time...and guess what? Even working in a nursing home or preschool could give you encounters with men.
2007-03-19 03:49:14 · answer #2 · answered by Johnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey,,,you have a little bit of a problem here. You both need to realize that jealousy can rip you apart. You really need to get over it in order to make things work. I would suggest having a very serious conversation about this with your husband. He needs to realize that if you need to get a job, you can't just wait around for the perfect one to come along.
2007-03-19 03:19:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know this may sound corny and I know it isn't a direct answer for this, but have you tried couple therapy? It will help ya'll with trust and security. I know it isn't a right now answer, but I think you could benefit. I know all too well how bad it feels with jealousy. My 4 1/2 yr relationship has been a bit rocky at times with the little jealous monster wanting to freak every time he goes out with his friends (we're both at separate colleges). You need to learn faith in each other and faith in yourselves. I guess the best thing I can provide for a right now answer is to go to work with as little makeup as possible. It may get it through his skull that you are going to work and not to attract any attention. I don't know how jealous he is but it may not work. Test it out on another situation where he tends to get jealous.
2007-03-19 03:25:28 · answer #4 · answered by 80sredheadchick 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that if he doesnt trust you in the general public hes not gonna trust you anywhere else. Let him know that theres nothing to worry about. Take him with you to work as much as you possibly can. Introduce him to every on you talk to when you get the job. Let him know that its important that he get over his jelousy issues because its going to start affecting your family. Ive been there, you have to repeat this conversation once every other day until he sees you have nothing to hide, then it will become normal. He will always have some jelousy and so will you, but if you dont work around it, its going to stifle your family.
2007-03-19 03:23:51 · answer #5 · answered by JUDAS RAGE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a life....you both are insecure and you call tha happy? If you can not trust each other, you are NOT "very happy together", you have locked each other up into a prison. You both sound like in need of counseling. If you can not even work with another man, this is EXTREME jealousy. Seek help!
2007-03-19 03:23:03 · answer #6 · answered by ACTS 4:12 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with him over your bills one evening, and in a kind and loving way tell him that sacrifices are going to have to be made concerning what you spend or he's going to have to sacrifice his trust issues and let you try to find work. Tell him that you will look at the want ads together. Your problems are twofold...trust and money...you'll have to work on the trust eventually, but an alternative is to find work where one of his friends or relatives work...you know..someone who could tell on you if you had a torrid affair. (I say this only half-jokingly). Good luck! I'd like to know how this turns out for you.
2007-03-19 03:22:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't good that you 2 are both so insecure - I'd look into counseling to deal with the underlying issues you both have. As far as working goes - with his insecurity issues I'd stay away from any kins of factory type work - what about a receptionist at a hair salon, day care employee, receptionist at a woman's gym. What about cleaning people's houses - there is a lot of money to made in that!!
2007-03-19 03:23:27 · answer #8 · answered by Zabes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm..this is a hard one. I know this type of man and usually run from them, unfortunately, I married one too. I would just say that beggars cant be chosers. You need a job and you can get one.....tough **** if he doesnt want you around other men. Does he want the money it would bring in? He needs to lighten up a bit. I was a waitress and my husband hated it. I am a bit of a flirt when need be(it ups the tip in most cases) and had a lot of regular male customers. But you know what, I came home to him at the end of the day and the wad of cash in my apron came home with me. I wish you luck
2007-03-19 03:21:56 · answer #9 · answered by Ruby Tuesday 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is no good answer for this other than that your husband has either got to get over this extreme jealousy or you have to choose between accepting it and leaving him. This is definitely an unhealthy level of jealousy for a husband who supposedly trusts you.
2007-03-19 04:32:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like some counseling is needed. There are trust issues here and that makes a marriage doomed. If you are desperate for a job then take the first one that is offered and use your spare time to find the right one. Tell him that its all temp. and that he needs to trust you or else everything including your marriage will fail. Best of luck to you
2007-03-19 03:44:20 · answer #11 · answered by mysweetluvie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋